All anyone in the office can talk about is how the Olympics are going to affect our commute.
If this is all anyone will be able to talk about for the next month, there will be problems.
Its not that I'm not as upset and pissed off as the next person (probably more than the next person actually) its just that all the talking in circles accomplishes nothing and just gets me more aggravated. And when I get aggravated my filter shuts itself off (its like when your car overheats, it just stops).
And then no one wins.
I know I talked about the Olympic situation yesterday, but clearly it requires more discussion. And yes, I do realize that I'm just as bad as all the rest. But this is my blog and you're reading it, so its really already done.
There are a few problems, the way that I see things.
Most of these issues find themselves back to the root of all evil, John.
Let's discuss shall we?
1. Schedule. I really resent the fact that I am expected to completely alter my work schedule, and thus my eating and sleeping habits, because the executives don't want production to suffer. Newsflash: Too late. All this chatter about what will happen, what could happen and what should happen has already taken away more production than just shutting it all down in the first place. OK probably not, but you get the idea.
2. Lateness. I hate to be late (like the White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland). I do everything in my power to never be late. If I think I'm going to be late, I let people know. This is true of me personally and professionally. But mostly, I pride myself on my punctuality (and a serious pet peeve of mine is that everyone else in my life seems to have a lateness problem). However, during the Olympics, with all the road closures, rerouting and extra passengers, there is only so much that I can do to ensure my timely arrival, short of camping out in the lunchroom. I would love a guarantee from John and his betters that we will not be punished for being late. I know this will not happen, but I would love it. I don't want to be talked to about the extra 10 minutes it took to get here, I don't want to hear stories about how you managed to get here on time even though you ran into a herd of elephants and had to rescue a baby from a runaway train. I want you to leave me alone and chalk it up to Olympic congestion.
**upate on this: I sent John and Amy an email requesting this guarantee. Totally put myself out there. Am totally going to get f**ked**
3. The Optics of the Team. We all know that John is obsessed with all things equal. He wouldn't let me take off earlier than everyone else on Christmas Eve last year because even though I started earlier, it wouldn't be fair (to me, but that is a whole other post). In order for us to be allowed to adjust our schedule for the Olympics, we need to basically prove that we will be affected. If you live too close, you are not allowed. But John- how is this fair? In a phrase: Its not. But the best of all, the cherry on the top of the proverbial sundae is that managers and people like Amy who have a work laptop, get to work from home. Because its fair to make us change our schedules, make me go to bed at 8 and miss all my favourite shows, but management (who is making these rules) gets to stay at home because they don't want to deal with the hassle. Total equality in the Cubicle.
I think my head just exploded.
Update on the Update: I got an email back from John. He said nothing in a lot of words. He said nothing about what I asked for, but talked around in a circle about how they were going to work with each person to make this all as painless as possible. The highlight? No harsh consequences (in other words we will still have to make up any time). Something about how we are all making sacrifices (except for him and his cronies of course) and finished off with an offer to get together and talk.
Because what I want most in the world is more face time with John.
I am really fighting the urge to walk out today. Much stronger than most days.
I would settle for the chance to b*tch slap John though. I'm nothing if not flexible.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
Early Bird Gets The Worm
Why would anyone show up at work at 7am if they don't have to?
Well there was a minor airport detour this morning. The Swede has left. Am sad. She needed to be at the airport for 5.30 this morning, and being the superstar friends that we are, The Boyfriend and I accompanied her. Probably for the best-- there was a close call with the United Airlines agent. If we hadn't held her back...well I hope the woman's family is grateful.
But leaving the airport at 6.20, I either go to work, call in sick or go home and come back later.
Tempting though it was to call in sick, I'm trying not to do that. Or at least save it for later this week. Going home just to get on the bus and come to work seems ridiculous. So here I am.
Sad, and puffy eyed, but working. On my blog.
I'm not going to lie- the airport scene got a little messy. Am so not in the mood to deal with anyone's sh*t. Like people that eat other people's yoghurt.
I don't know who did it (twice!) and I'm not going to be that person that sends out an email about eating other people's yoghurt. But I'm annoyed. That's my damn yoghurt. I have so few pleasures in my work day and my yoghurt is one of them. Today I took precautionary measures. It says my name in giant, fat, black sharpie letters. So if someone eats it today- well that's no longer a mistake, you're just an a**hole.
You know that today it will be something to small that sets me off.
I'm trying to think of today as a practice run.
This might be giving too much away, but a little thing called the Olympics is (are?) coming to town.
Now I love the Olympics as much as the next person. All those demonstrations of insane physical talent. The stories behind the champions. The records broken, dreams reached, and superstars made. All of it, I love. I'm seriously an Olympic junkie.
But honestly, not this time.
Not in my city.
I figure my city is already on the map, we don't really need to be drawing more attention to it. Plus all that money that is being thrown at Olympic sites and officials- I feel like we have more pressing problems that we could spend the money on.
Then again, I'm just a disgruntled blogger, so I don't know anything.
OK so I had a point.
I work in the city. The heart of the city. The city is going to be closed to traffic.
Awesome.
Sure, buses and the skytrain will still run. And I take the bus, so I should be fine right?
Wrong.
Last week the transit authority comes out and tells regular users to expect extreme delays when using transit after between 7 and 9 in the morning and any time after 2 in the afternoon (Hey! That's when I use transit! Cool!) As if a football game, concert and the fireworks were all ending at the same time, for 18 nights straight. You could be waiting for a train to get out of the city for 2 hours.
A lot of offices are shutting down for that reason. Don't think its worth the headache (I concur). Some are forcing their employees to take their vacations. Some are giving a week's free vacation. The really awesome ones are just shutting it all down, with the option of working from home.
But I don't work in any of those places.
Solution? Start early, leave early.
This means that for the 2 glorious weeks of Olympic sport, I get to wake up at 4.30, leave my house for 5.15 and get to work at 6am.
Its going to be an Olympic event just getting out of the city in the afternoons. All those extra people.
The executive team? Working from home.
Way to set an example guys.
I guess it could all turn out OK. Maybe no one will come?
Well there was a minor airport detour this morning. The Swede has left. Am sad. She needed to be at the airport for 5.30 this morning, and being the superstar friends that we are, The Boyfriend and I accompanied her. Probably for the best-- there was a close call with the United Airlines agent. If we hadn't held her back...well I hope the woman's family is grateful.
But leaving the airport at 6.20, I either go to work, call in sick or go home and come back later.
Tempting though it was to call in sick, I'm trying not to do that. Or at least save it for later this week. Going home just to get on the bus and come to work seems ridiculous. So here I am.
Sad, and puffy eyed, but working. On my blog.
I'm not going to lie- the airport scene got a little messy. Am so not in the mood to deal with anyone's sh*t. Like people that eat other people's yoghurt.
I don't know who did it (twice!) and I'm not going to be that person that sends out an email about eating other people's yoghurt. But I'm annoyed. That's my damn yoghurt. I have so few pleasures in my work day and my yoghurt is one of them. Today I took precautionary measures. It says my name in giant, fat, black sharpie letters. So if someone eats it today- well that's no longer a mistake, you're just an a**hole.
You know that today it will be something to small that sets me off.
I'm trying to think of today as a practice run.
This might be giving too much away, but a little thing called the Olympics is (are?) coming to town.
Now I love the Olympics as much as the next person. All those demonstrations of insane physical talent. The stories behind the champions. The records broken, dreams reached, and superstars made. All of it, I love. I'm seriously an Olympic junkie.
But honestly, not this time.
Not in my city.
I figure my city is already on the map, we don't really need to be drawing more attention to it. Plus all that money that is being thrown at Olympic sites and officials- I feel like we have more pressing problems that we could spend the money on.
Then again, I'm just a disgruntled blogger, so I don't know anything.
OK so I had a point.
I work in the city. The heart of the city. The city is going to be closed to traffic.
Awesome.
Sure, buses and the skytrain will still run. And I take the bus, so I should be fine right?
Wrong.
Last week the transit authority comes out and tells regular users to expect extreme delays when using transit after between 7 and 9 in the morning and any time after 2 in the afternoon (Hey! That's when I use transit! Cool!) As if a football game, concert and the fireworks were all ending at the same time, for 18 nights straight. You could be waiting for a train to get out of the city for 2 hours.
A lot of offices are shutting down for that reason. Don't think its worth the headache (I concur). Some are forcing their employees to take their vacations. Some are giving a week's free vacation. The really awesome ones are just shutting it all down, with the option of working from home.
But I don't work in any of those places.
Solution? Start early, leave early.
This means that for the 2 glorious weeks of Olympic sport, I get to wake up at 4.30, leave my house for 5.15 and get to work at 6am.
Its going to be an Olympic event just getting out of the city in the afternoons. All those extra people.
The executive team? Working from home.
Way to set an example guys.
I guess it could all turn out OK. Maybe no one will come?
Friday, January 8, 2010
Stalker Boss
Don't get excited you guys, Khloe Kardashian is not pregnant. She's just gained 7lbs of "love weight".
Now that we have that out of the way, let's get into it shall we?
Yesterday I had a very unpleasant encounter. With John. I'm still a little shook up about the whole thing.
Here's some back story. I'm technically supposed to work until 4.30 every day. But because I generally get to work at 8.10 or 8.15 I take off at 4.25. This way I can catch a bus that gets me home about 20 minutes earlier than the one right after it. I send a report to Amy every day showing what I did that day and its obviously stamped with the time. She has never said a word about it. I mean in the end, I'm the one that's losing out here. Not like I get to leave at 4.10 when I get here at 8.10 -- for the "optics" of the team, it has to be "fair" for everyone.
Something like that.
Now you are caught up.
At 4.25 I was leaving the office. I saw that John had his coat on but he was talking to Amy so I figured he would leave after me and I wouldn't have to walk with him at any part of my short walk to the bus.
I put my head phones in and walk away. I just got new headphones and they are the ones that have that little rubber thing around them that totally blocks out all sounds from the outside world and makes the music louder. I'm enjoying a little old school JT and I feel a hand on my shoulder.
A cold fist clamps itself over my heart. Quick thinking: this is either a homeless man taking it one step too far or its John. I would rather it be a homeless man. Honestly, the touching-- too far John too far. Not to mention, I could have totally kicked him in the balls and run away screaming.
Instead I turned around slowly to be face to face with the devil himself. And instead of just a "good night, see you tomorrow" he starts talking about work. About how I shouldn't lose any sleep over the List he never sent me because he was in meetings all day.
Like I care.
I figure he's going to cross the street (I have an idea of the neighbourhood he lives in and I know he walks to work) so I deliberately turn right. He walks with me. Then I tell him that I have to jaywalk here to get to my bus. Say "see you tomorrow" and run (so as not to get hit by a bus obviously). I'm seriously annoyed when I see him jogging across the street to join me. Here John made a funny. Says that he's taking Stalking 101 and this is one of his lessons "Awkward Goodbyes".
OMG John, you are hilarious. Seriously, let me just take a moment. I think I have a stitch from all the laughter.
Not.
I think I muttered something about him definitely passing that class...
Apparently he's actually on his way to a restaurant up the street and just lost his bearings.
Awesome. I have no way to get rid of him.
So then he's all "where do you catch your bus?". I tell him just up the street. I add that if I don't catch this one then it will take me an extra 20 minutes to get home.
He takes out his phone, looks at the time and says to me "It's 4.26, do you think you will have enough time?"
I was so stunned that I just nodded. But I know what he meant. He meant to point out that I had left work before 4.30, which is when I'm allowed to leave. I'm sure that I will get an email. I kind of feel like I'm a little bit f**ked.
But I mean, if Amy has never had an issue (and I'm fairly certain she's aware, she doesn't miss a lot) then why does John? I mean, he's technically not even in charge of us anymore.
Whatever. It just pissed me off.
With all of this bus kerfuffle going on, I was relieved that it was Friday today and I would be getting a ride from St. Boyfriend.
But he decided that he wanted to sleep in. Apparently going to the movies in the middle of the day and 4 days off next week aren't enough. So while he had several drinks last night and stayed up late chatting with the Swede, I had to go to bed at 10, sober, because I had to get up early to take the bus.
Oh don't worry, I know I'm being a total brat. But its his own fault. He's the one that started with the driving me to work. And people that don't take the bus just don't understand how nice it is not to have to take the bus. They take it for granted.
I hope the movie sucks.
Enjoy the weekend!
Now that we have that out of the way, let's get into it shall we?
Yesterday I had a very unpleasant encounter. With John. I'm still a little shook up about the whole thing.
Here's some back story. I'm technically supposed to work until 4.30 every day. But because I generally get to work at 8.10 or 8.15 I take off at 4.25. This way I can catch a bus that gets me home about 20 minutes earlier than the one right after it. I send a report to Amy every day showing what I did that day and its obviously stamped with the time. She has never said a word about it. I mean in the end, I'm the one that's losing out here. Not like I get to leave at 4.10 when I get here at 8.10 -- for the "optics" of the team, it has to be "fair" for everyone.
Something like that.
Now you are caught up.
At 4.25 I was leaving the office. I saw that John had his coat on but he was talking to Amy so I figured he would leave after me and I wouldn't have to walk with him at any part of my short walk to the bus.
I put my head phones in and walk away. I just got new headphones and they are the ones that have that little rubber thing around them that totally blocks out all sounds from the outside world and makes the music louder. I'm enjoying a little old school JT and I feel a hand on my shoulder.
A cold fist clamps itself over my heart. Quick thinking: this is either a homeless man taking it one step too far or its John. I would rather it be a homeless man. Honestly, the touching-- too far John too far. Not to mention, I could have totally kicked him in the balls and run away screaming.
Instead I turned around slowly to be face to face with the devil himself. And instead of just a "good night, see you tomorrow" he starts talking about work. About how I shouldn't lose any sleep over the List he never sent me because he was in meetings all day.
Like I care.
I figure he's going to cross the street (I have an idea of the neighbourhood he lives in and I know he walks to work) so I deliberately turn right. He walks with me. Then I tell him that I have to jaywalk here to get to my bus. Say "see you tomorrow" and run (so as not to get hit by a bus obviously). I'm seriously annoyed when I see him jogging across the street to join me. Here John made a funny. Says that he's taking Stalking 101 and this is one of his lessons "Awkward Goodbyes".
OMG John, you are hilarious. Seriously, let me just take a moment. I think I have a stitch from all the laughter.
Not.
I think I muttered something about him definitely passing that class...
Apparently he's actually on his way to a restaurant up the street and just lost his bearings.
Awesome. I have no way to get rid of him.
So then he's all "where do you catch your bus?". I tell him just up the street. I add that if I don't catch this one then it will take me an extra 20 minutes to get home.
He takes out his phone, looks at the time and says to me "It's 4.26, do you think you will have enough time?"
I was so stunned that I just nodded. But I know what he meant. He meant to point out that I had left work before 4.30, which is when I'm allowed to leave. I'm sure that I will get an email. I kind of feel like I'm a little bit f**ked.
But I mean, if Amy has never had an issue (and I'm fairly certain she's aware, she doesn't miss a lot) then why does John? I mean, he's technically not even in charge of us anymore.
Whatever. It just pissed me off.
With all of this bus kerfuffle going on, I was relieved that it was Friday today and I would be getting a ride from St. Boyfriend.
But he decided that he wanted to sleep in. Apparently going to the movies in the middle of the day and 4 days off next week aren't enough. So while he had several drinks last night and stayed up late chatting with the Swede, I had to go to bed at 10, sober, because I had to get up early to take the bus.
Oh don't worry, I know I'm being a total brat. But its his own fault. He's the one that started with the driving me to work. And people that don't take the bus just don't understand how nice it is not to have to take the bus. They take it for granted.
I hope the movie sucks.
Enjoy the weekend!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Being Passive Aggressive
So today I think I shall use this here blog to get some things off my chest. Whats that you say? I always do that? Well that is technically true. But I address it to no one in particular and I think that the time has come to call out some of the d-bags I work with, or people that I encounter on my way to work (lady bus driver). Of course, its completely passive- aggressive because (God hoping) none of them read this, but it will make me feel better. And blogging is about nothing if not self-gratification.
So here we go.
Dear Veronica,
I know that you are so excited about your pending trip to South Africa. But its 6 months away. And I do not intend to hear about it every day for the next half year. I don't care what route you are taking. I don't care that you booked a little bed and breakfast in Cape Town where you will sleep in some old woman's house and get croissants for breakfast while you look out over the city. I don't care that you are attempting to read up about the history of the country (I know you saw Invictus but I have yet to see any actual proof that you are reading anything) basically because I'm not going. I'm really happy for you that you make enough money here to be able to just run off to South Africa for the World Cup and stay there for a month, but you don't need to leave your online banking open so that you can prove it. I would love for you to pretend that you are an actual supervisor, taking the good with the bad.
And for God's sake, stop wearing flip flops to work! I don't care that you got a pedicure!
Sincerely, Bored@Work
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Lady Bus Driver,
I get it. You drive a bus and you probably hate it. I would hate it too- all those people all the time. None of them probably even acknowledge you, or the fact that you have to drive the same route all day every day in city traffic. I get it. I smile, I say "Good Morning" to you every day. But I don't get a smile or any acknowledgement back? What is that about? And then you take it a step further, don't you, by calling out people on the bus when they haven't paid enough. Most bus drivers just let it slide. They recognize that a) the buses are ridiculously expensive here and b) they could get stabbed over $2. So they let it lie. But not you. Oh no. You get on your speaker and you call the guy out who got in on the back doors. Not allowed, you say. Only the front doors, you remind him. Or that time that the couple who couldn't speak English didn't know that they hadn't paid you enough and didn't understand that you were talking to them. But you didn't get the bus moving until someone else had tried to mime to them that they were the ones holding up the bus. Couldn't let it go. You will get the money. From anyone.
Just relax. Smile once in a while. Seriously stop calling people out, because I promise you not everyone will be so passive about it. Don't you watch the news lady? While we're at it, can nothing be done about the road down the mountain? I feel like my head is going to become detached from my body with all that shaking.
Seriously, Bored@Work
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Maurice,
I just really want to thank you. For being you. And for bringing sunshine into the Cubicle. You're not aware of it of course, but I promise you its there. You don't know what garlands are, never heard of Milli Vanilli and you don't know anything about Full House. Its like you're not a whole person. But you keep on truckin' don't you? You come to work every day, dress yourself like a big boy and say to the world "Hello World". Sure, you never refill the printer. Or really know what you're doing. You get chewed out for the same thing every single time (here's a hint man, start reading over things before you send them out) but you stubbornly persist in doing things your way. I guess you didn't get this far by listening to other people.
You hang in there Maurice. You're a f**king star.
Bored@Work
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Amy,
I know that this isn't where you saw yourself. And this job was kind of thrown on you. You haven't been allowed to really take charge and do it on your own either. But that doesn't give you the right to sit by while John takes charge and patronizes your staff. We are your staff. The only one that gets to yell at us, is you. You may not realize this, but we respect you. Sure, sometimes you come across as an ice queen. But we know that you are just under a lot of pressure. Its OK. But please don't let John walk all over you and take charge. He walked away remember? You're the manager. Please start acting like it.
Honestly,
Bored@Work
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh you knew it was coming...
Dear John,
Don't worry, this isn't that kind of letter. You have been in charge of this department for over a year now and you have managed to make exactly no changes. When you came in you were all about changing attitudes, making people feel good about coming to work etc etc. And just FYI: you have completely f**king failed at all of that. Not only have you failed, you have gone backwards. I'm pretty sure when the D-bag-with-no-name was in charge all we had to really worry about was being watched for time- making sure we got to work on time, and took perfectly timed breaks. But not now. Oh no. Now there is so much more we need to watch out for. You have managed to belittle, disrespect, question, harass and needle people each and every day for a good...8 months now. Does it feel good? Do you enjoy making people feel like s**t every day?
Do you know whats not acceptable? Not knowing what the hell is going on in your own department. And undermining the manager of that department. Because I don't know if you got the memo John, but about 5 months ago, you actually stepped back from the running of this department. You passed the reins to Amy. But you couldn't step back could you? You couldn't just walk away. You had to keep sticking your stupid ugly nose back in, when no one wants you around! Everything that goes on in this department? Its none of your business. If Amy wants a hand, she'll find you. You don't need to babysit.
Don't think for a second that you have gotten away with any of this. Do you honestly think that I am going to sit down and take all of your sh*t? Do you know me at all? No you don't- you had no interest in getting to know me. Well you're going to find out exactly what I think of you. And so are your superiors. When I quit. And I will quit one of these days John. There's this little thing that they call an exit interview and I have a list of things that I would like to go over. All the things that you have said to me, done to me, done to the department- its all written down. I don't want to forget a thing when I finally have my chance to throw you under the bus.
A**hole.
Sincerely,
Bored@Work
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh wow. That last one felt really really good. I can't wait until I win the lottery or get another job. Whichever comes first. And we are getting close people, we are getting close. The economy is picking up, we have begun the mortgage process (that's why I've been staying so long) and its only a matter of time before I get to tell John off. But seriously, that was therapeutic you should all try it.
So here we go.
Dear Veronica,
I know that you are so excited about your pending trip to South Africa. But its 6 months away. And I do not intend to hear about it every day for the next half year. I don't care what route you are taking. I don't care that you booked a little bed and breakfast in Cape Town where you will sleep in some old woman's house and get croissants for breakfast while you look out over the city. I don't care that you are attempting to read up about the history of the country (I know you saw Invictus but I have yet to see any actual proof that you are reading anything) basically because I'm not going. I'm really happy for you that you make enough money here to be able to just run off to South Africa for the World Cup and stay there for a month, but you don't need to leave your online banking open so that you can prove it. I would love for you to pretend that you are an actual supervisor, taking the good with the bad.
And for God's sake, stop wearing flip flops to work! I don't care that you got a pedicure!
Sincerely, Bored@Work
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Lady Bus Driver,
I get it. You drive a bus and you probably hate it. I would hate it too- all those people all the time. None of them probably even acknowledge you, or the fact that you have to drive the same route all day every day in city traffic. I get it. I smile, I say "Good Morning" to you every day. But I don't get a smile or any acknowledgement back? What is that about? And then you take it a step further, don't you, by calling out people on the bus when they haven't paid enough. Most bus drivers just let it slide. They recognize that a) the buses are ridiculously expensive here and b) they could get stabbed over $2. So they let it lie. But not you. Oh no. You get on your speaker and you call the guy out who got in on the back doors. Not allowed, you say. Only the front doors, you remind him. Or that time that the couple who couldn't speak English didn't know that they hadn't paid you enough and didn't understand that you were talking to them. But you didn't get the bus moving until someone else had tried to mime to them that they were the ones holding up the bus. Couldn't let it go. You will get the money. From anyone.
Just relax. Smile once in a while. Seriously stop calling people out, because I promise you not everyone will be so passive about it. Don't you watch the news lady? While we're at it, can nothing be done about the road down the mountain? I feel like my head is going to become detached from my body with all that shaking.
Seriously, Bored@Work
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Maurice,
I just really want to thank you. For being you. And for bringing sunshine into the Cubicle. You're not aware of it of course, but I promise you its there. You don't know what garlands are, never heard of Milli Vanilli and you don't know anything about Full House. Its like you're not a whole person. But you keep on truckin' don't you? You come to work every day, dress yourself like a big boy and say to the world "Hello World". Sure, you never refill the printer. Or really know what you're doing. You get chewed out for the same thing every single time (here's a hint man, start reading over things before you send them out) but you stubbornly persist in doing things your way. I guess you didn't get this far by listening to other people.
You hang in there Maurice. You're a f**king star.
Bored@Work
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Amy,
I know that this isn't where you saw yourself. And this job was kind of thrown on you. You haven't been allowed to really take charge and do it on your own either. But that doesn't give you the right to sit by while John takes charge and patronizes your staff. We are your staff. The only one that gets to yell at us, is you. You may not realize this, but we respect you. Sure, sometimes you come across as an ice queen. But we know that you are just under a lot of pressure. Its OK. But please don't let John walk all over you and take charge. He walked away remember? You're the manager. Please start acting like it.
Honestly,
Bored@Work
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh you knew it was coming...
Dear John,
Don't worry, this isn't that kind of letter. You have been in charge of this department for over a year now and you have managed to make exactly no changes. When you came in you were all about changing attitudes, making people feel good about coming to work etc etc. And just FYI: you have completely f**king failed at all of that. Not only have you failed, you have gone backwards. I'm pretty sure when the D-bag-with-no-name was in charge all we had to really worry about was being watched for time- making sure we got to work on time, and took perfectly timed breaks. But not now. Oh no. Now there is so much more we need to watch out for. You have managed to belittle, disrespect, question, harass and needle people each and every day for a good...8 months now. Does it feel good? Do you enjoy making people feel like s**t every day?
Do you know whats not acceptable? Not knowing what the hell is going on in your own department. And undermining the manager of that department. Because I don't know if you got the memo John, but about 5 months ago, you actually stepped back from the running of this department. You passed the reins to Amy. But you couldn't step back could you? You couldn't just walk away. You had to keep sticking your stupid ugly nose back in, when no one wants you around! Everything that goes on in this department? Its none of your business. If Amy wants a hand, she'll find you. You don't need to babysit.
Don't think for a second that you have gotten away with any of this. Do you honestly think that I am going to sit down and take all of your sh*t? Do you know me at all? No you don't- you had no interest in getting to know me. Well you're going to find out exactly what I think of you. And so are your superiors. When I quit. And I will quit one of these days John. There's this little thing that they call an exit interview and I have a list of things that I would like to go over. All the things that you have said to me, done to me, done to the department- its all written down. I don't want to forget a thing when I finally have my chance to throw you under the bus.
A**hole.
Sincerely,
Bored@Work
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh wow. That last one felt really really good. I can't wait until I win the lottery or get another job. Whichever comes first. And we are getting close people, we are getting close. The economy is picking up, we have begun the mortgage process (that's why I've been staying so long) and its only a matter of time before I get to tell John off. But seriously, that was therapeutic you should all try it.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Mixed Signals
Yesterday I came to work, changed out of my rain boots and noticed that I had put my tights on inside out. This is what comes of dressing in the dark.
Well yesterday did not turn out to be a very good day. I blame it on the tights. And someone who bet against their country.
But today, my tights are on right. However, its not shaping up to be a much better day.
Let's start with something light, from yesterday.
I overheard someone in the other department on the phone with someone that, I'm guessing, was new to the job. In order to make that person feel more comfortable our guy says "oh that's OK, I'm happy to be your first".
Isn't every guy?
I'm sure it sounded innocent enough in his head, but to my guttermind, oh man.
So yesterday I ended up postponing my post all morning because I was sure that John would walk up behind me and catch me. And that would be bad. He had told me the night before (as I was leaving) that he had some concerns about that damn List of his that I work on.
The conversation amused Anna, so here it is for your pleasure:
(at 4.20 (I leave at 4.25))
John: hey, I know that you're on your way out...
me: yes. I am.
John: *pause* OK I just had some concerns...
me: well can we deal with that tomorrow? (I'm not even looking at him, just carrying on with shutting down)
John; so I guess I will take another look and I will email you the details.
me: sure.
I showed him right?
So all morning I'm waiting for him to show up, or send me an email. Which he doesn't do. So I get trained on other things (things that require mucho printing, right when they are taking my printer away. smart) and am plugging away and finally Anna tells me that "its better to walk into the lion's den than for the lion to find you". I really liked the visual. Although I tend to think of lions as being noble creatures and I definitely do not associate the word noble with John. Serpent-like perhaps. Or sneaky. Diabolical. Douche-y. Those sound more like John, less like lions.
But I got the point. I went to look for him, but he was in a meeting. Surprise, surprise. No doubt something to do with where to go for coffee today. So I sent him an email. I told him that I was wondering if he still wanted to talk about his concerns about the List and that I hadn't had a chance to work on it because I kept being assigned other duties. I told him that I didn't think that other people (namely Veronica) were taking the List very seriously.
Hours later, I got an email telling me that the List wasn't that important and to concentrate on other duties. But then this morning Amy tells me that John still wants to talk to me about his concerns regarding the List.
I am so confused.
As she tells me this she hands me a stack of new work and tells me to forget about everything else. But first to finish the stuff from yesterday.
Wha?
Now its been a while since I have given you all an update on Veronica. And I'm sure that you are all dying to know what is going on with her. I would be.
As you are no doubt aware (I am reminded almost daily), Veronica is going to South Africa for the World Cup. So every day there is some kind of update on her progress. I'm fairly certain that her flight is booked already. To be fair, Anna is the one that gets most of these updates firsthand (I tend to tune a lot of it out at this point since its going to be a long 6 months) but she lets me know what's going on.
Apparently she is leaving in just 150 short days and she has a million things to do. Obviously she needs to know more about the history of South Africa so she is working on reading a 10 page summary. I guess 10 pages should just about sum it up right? After all, its not a complicated history or anything. And reading 10 pages should definitely take the better part of a month. But then again, this is the girl who thought that reading Russell Brand's Booky Wook was difficult.
She needs to get a passport. I'm assuming she already had one because she did go to Mexico last year, but I guess it has expired. I'm betting that she waits a long time to get that done and then stresses about it last minute.
Apparently before she leaves, there are weddings and bachelorette parties that she has to plan and/or attend. I think that she believes that if she and her boyfriend of 9 years are the last ones standing, she will finally get that ring and her happily ever after. I'm more inclined to think that in the end she will get nothing. I've met the guy, heard the stories- that boy is not going to marry her. And, honestly, that makes me feel bad for her. I wish she could see it and move on.
There's one more thing but I feel really hypocritical judging her on it. So I won't.
If you kept track- that is 4 things to do in 150 days. I can see why she is stressing.
Let's just all move on from yesterday and hope that as we get closer to the weekend, the Universe does us a favour and speeds up time. And then obviously slows it down again over the weekend.
Obviously.
Well yesterday did not turn out to be a very good day. I blame it on the tights. And someone who bet against their country.
But today, my tights are on right. However, its not shaping up to be a much better day.
Let's start with something light, from yesterday.
I overheard someone in the other department on the phone with someone that, I'm guessing, was new to the job. In order to make that person feel more comfortable our guy says "oh that's OK, I'm happy to be your first".
Isn't every guy?
I'm sure it sounded innocent enough in his head, but to my guttermind, oh man.
So yesterday I ended up postponing my post all morning because I was sure that John would walk up behind me and catch me. And that would be bad. He had told me the night before (as I was leaving) that he had some concerns about that damn List of his that I work on.
The conversation amused Anna, so here it is for your pleasure:
(at 4.20 (I leave at 4.25))
John: hey, I know that you're on your way out...
me: yes. I am.
John: *pause* OK I just had some concerns...
me: well can we deal with that tomorrow? (I'm not even looking at him, just carrying on with shutting down)
John; so I guess I will take another look and I will email you the details.
me: sure.
I showed him right?
So all morning I'm waiting for him to show up, or send me an email. Which he doesn't do. So I get trained on other things (things that require mucho printing, right when they are taking my printer away. smart) and am plugging away and finally Anna tells me that "its better to walk into the lion's den than for the lion to find you". I really liked the visual. Although I tend to think of lions as being noble creatures and I definitely do not associate the word noble with John. Serpent-like perhaps. Or sneaky. Diabolical. Douche-y. Those sound more like John, less like lions.
But I got the point. I went to look for him, but he was in a meeting. Surprise, surprise. No doubt something to do with where to go for coffee today. So I sent him an email. I told him that I was wondering if he still wanted to talk about his concerns about the List and that I hadn't had a chance to work on it because I kept being assigned other duties. I told him that I didn't think that other people (namely Veronica) were taking the List very seriously.
Hours later, I got an email telling me that the List wasn't that important and to concentrate on other duties. But then this morning Amy tells me that John still wants to talk to me about his concerns regarding the List.
I am so confused.
As she tells me this she hands me a stack of new work and tells me to forget about everything else. But first to finish the stuff from yesterday.
Wha?
Now its been a while since I have given you all an update on Veronica. And I'm sure that you are all dying to know what is going on with her. I would be.
As you are no doubt aware (I am reminded almost daily), Veronica is going to South Africa for the World Cup. So every day there is some kind of update on her progress. I'm fairly certain that her flight is booked already. To be fair, Anna is the one that gets most of these updates firsthand (I tend to tune a lot of it out at this point since its going to be a long 6 months) but she lets me know what's going on.
Apparently she is leaving in just 150 short days and she has a million things to do. Obviously she needs to know more about the history of South Africa so she is working on reading a 10 page summary. I guess 10 pages should just about sum it up right? After all, its not a complicated history or anything. And reading 10 pages should definitely take the better part of a month. But then again, this is the girl who thought that reading Russell Brand's Booky Wook was difficult.
She needs to get a passport. I'm assuming she already had one because she did go to Mexico last year, but I guess it has expired. I'm betting that she waits a long time to get that done and then stresses about it last minute.
Apparently before she leaves, there are weddings and bachelorette parties that she has to plan and/or attend. I think that she believes that if she and her boyfriend of 9 years are the last ones standing, she will finally get that ring and her happily ever after. I'm more inclined to think that in the end she will get nothing. I've met the guy, heard the stories- that boy is not going to marry her. And, honestly, that makes me feel bad for her. I wish she could see it and move on.
There's one more thing but I feel really hypocritical judging her on it. So I won't.
If you kept track- that is 4 things to do in 150 days. I can see why she is stressing.
Let's just all move on from yesterday and hope that as we get closer to the weekend, the Universe does us a favour and speeds up time. And then obviously slows it down again over the weekend.
Obviously.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Rain Delay
Not so much a rain delay as a life delay. I would love to sit here and bitch about work (you know how I love me some bitching) but I just don't have the energy.
You do deserve some kind of explanation for my lack of posting though. Are you ready for some real life?
Today my mom tells me that her puppy was hit by a car and killed yesterday. Oh and my dad's car was stolen.
Needless to say that that's a little too much reality for my cubicle and while John was lurking around f**king up my day, I just don't have the heart to make a mockery of the office Lucifer today.
In Memory of a very sweet puppy.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
You do deserve some kind of explanation for my lack of posting though. Are you ready for some real life?
Today my mom tells me that her puppy was hit by a car and killed yesterday. Oh and my dad's car was stolen.
Needless to say that that's a little too much reality for my cubicle and while John was lurking around f**king up my day, I just don't have the heart to make a mockery of the office Lucifer today.
In Memory of a very sweet puppy.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Monday, January 4, 2010
Tried On A New Attitude. It Didn't Fit
Predictably, last night being Sunday, I did not sleep.
But I tried not to let that ruin my Monday (like anything I could do could make a Monday worse). I got up, showered (see? I tried to respect Monday), had a healthy well balanced breakfast, got in some Ellen time and walked out the door ready to start the new year with a new attitude.
Its not like the thought of calling in sick didn't cross my mind as I lay in bed pleading with Mr. Sandman to send me a dream. But I ignored it (showing incredible strength of character I might add) and got up and went to work. Like a good little worker bee.
I'm not really sure why I bothered.
Today it is pouring rain (well it was when I was walking to the bus, it seems to have abated somewhat now, a futher F**k you from the Universe perhaps?) and I forgot that my umbrella is literally in shambles. There were some rather violent windstorms recently and my little umbrella got swept up in them, turned inside out and very nearly ripped from my chapped hands, several times. One of the arms (are they called arms? no idea- today they are) is sticking out, waiting to poke someone in the eye (most likely me) and in the meantime, contents itself with getting caught in my hair, shawl, hat, anything and everything.
So by the time the bus rolled up, I was pretty soaked.
And wouldn't you know it? On this first day back, there is traffic. Unusually heavy traffic. Turns out a pedestrian was hit. By a bus. On my route.
Awesome.
(Coincidentally, a bus that the Swede was on last week hit a pedestrian).
Not a good start for anyone. Obviously this is actually really tragic but what kind of blogger would I be if I allowed this post to take such a horrible downturn? I shall only dwell on the mundane and annoying, not actual bad things. Those I like to ignore.
I narrowly manage to get to work on time (they also changed where my bus stop is. It used to be a block from work, now its 2) only to realize that Claire is not here to feel my pain. Today is the first day of her new life...
Hold everything. John is back. I just heard his voice. Damn it! I really hoped that he would come down with some horrific affliction while he was in Mexico. Or maybe something else bad would happen- there is a lot of drug violence down there, you never know!
But no. He made it home, slightly burnt but otherwise, none the worse for wear.
%#$^$%@^@$%&$@&$@#&^%#^&(%^(^!
I'm losing patience quickly.
They want me to do some work (obviously) but haven't actually given it to me. So I'm not sure exactly what they want me to do in the meantime...
I'm just really annoyed that John is back. He's so sneaky and he will be lurking, waiting for me to do something wrong. Before he left he caught me reading someone's awesome blog (thanks a lot Mr. Apron ) and was all what are you doing? I told him I needed a mental break and he said that I should be putting up my break sign if I was going to do that.
That's right. Ladies and Gentlemen, we have little magnets that we are supposed to put up on our cubicles when we are on our designated breaks. We are like children.
Oh goody, now I get to learn how to do something new. Not sure when I will have time to do this, since no one else helps me with my current job. But I guess all things are possible in the Cubicle Nation.
Its a long way til April...
But I tried not to let that ruin my Monday (like anything I could do could make a Monday worse). I got up, showered (see? I tried to respect Monday), had a healthy well balanced breakfast, got in some Ellen time and walked out the door ready to start the new year with a new attitude.
Its not like the thought of calling in sick didn't cross my mind as I lay in bed pleading with Mr. Sandman to send me a dream. But I ignored it (showing incredible strength of character I might add) and got up and went to work. Like a good little worker bee.
I'm not really sure why I bothered.
Today it is pouring rain (well it was when I was walking to the bus, it seems to have abated somewhat now, a futher F**k you from the Universe perhaps?) and I forgot that my umbrella is literally in shambles. There were some rather violent windstorms recently and my little umbrella got swept up in them, turned inside out and very nearly ripped from my chapped hands, several times. One of the arms (are they called arms? no idea- today they are) is sticking out, waiting to poke someone in the eye (most likely me) and in the meantime, contents itself with getting caught in my hair, shawl, hat, anything and everything.
So by the time the bus rolled up, I was pretty soaked.
And wouldn't you know it? On this first day back, there is traffic. Unusually heavy traffic. Turns out a pedestrian was hit. By a bus. On my route.
Awesome.
(Coincidentally, a bus that the Swede was on last week hit a pedestrian).
Not a good start for anyone. Obviously this is actually really tragic but what kind of blogger would I be if I allowed this post to take such a horrible downturn? I shall only dwell on the mundane and annoying, not actual bad things. Those I like to ignore.
I narrowly manage to get to work on time (they also changed where my bus stop is. It used to be a block from work, now its 2) only to realize that Claire is not here to feel my pain. Today is the first day of her new life...
Hold everything. John is back. I just heard his voice. Damn it! I really hoped that he would come down with some horrific affliction while he was in Mexico. Or maybe something else bad would happen- there is a lot of drug violence down there, you never know!
But no. He made it home, slightly burnt but otherwise, none the worse for wear.
%#$^$%@^@$%&$@&$@#&^%#^&(%^(^!
I'm losing patience quickly.
They want me to do some work (obviously) but haven't actually given it to me. So I'm not sure exactly what they want me to do in the meantime...
I'm just really annoyed that John is back. He's so sneaky and he will be lurking, waiting for me to do something wrong. Before he left he caught me reading someone's awesome blog (thanks a lot Mr. Apron ) and was all what are you doing? I told him I needed a mental break and he said that I should be putting up my break sign if I was going to do that.
That's right. Ladies and Gentlemen, we have little magnets that we are supposed to put up on our cubicles when we are on our designated breaks. We are like children.
Oh goody, now I get to learn how to do something new. Not sure when I will have time to do this, since no one else helps me with my current job. But I guess all things are possible in the Cubicle Nation.
Its a long way til April...
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