In Which I Tell You What To Do

You guys? I know that I literally just posted, but then I went to check in with my idol (and yours by now I should think) Jen Lancaster and realized that this post was way too good not to share with the masses. Or, you know, the 40 people that read this. And my mom.

Anyway, I hope you go and check it out today because its totally worth it.

This post is one of the reasons why I luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurve Jen Lancaster.

Why are you still here? Go read it now!

Ghetto Friday Morning

We didn't get around to the cleaning yesterday. So we spent the better part of the morning doing that today. One part of my morning was particularly ghetto and I wanted to share it with you now.

I have been making a conscientious effort in most things to not spend money unnecessarily. You know, since I'm not earning any right now, strictly speaking. Since there is no money coming in on my end, I have to be tightening the proverbial belt.

So there is the self imposed book ban (that is going well for the most part but that has failed a couple of times), the shopping ban (unless it is something needed for the eventual return to work--but you guys? I looked at the bag of pants I bought when I first got laid off and I swear there is a thin layer of dust on it from non-use. Tragic), the ban on going out (you don't need to go out to drink. Its cheaper in your own home, and less douche-inflicting) etc. I realize that all of these bans have explanatory notes attached but please don't take that to mean that I'm not making a serious effort.

I am.

One of the ways we're saving money is by not buying shampoo and conditioner.

You're thinking gross. And if I were no longer washing my hair at all, going for dreads, I would agree with you. But I said we're not buying shampoo and conditioner, not that we're not using them anymore. I have 2 boxes of sample shampoo and conditioners, donated to my cause by the hair fairy. Rather than use a new little bottle every few days, I spent a good 15 minutes this morning transferring the contents of the little bottles into my existing shampoo bottles.

No lie.

As I was doing it I thought to myself "I have got to get a job soon". Although, why waste all that free shampoo and conditioner?? Its still nice not to have to buy it. And don't worry Record, all the bottles were recycled. The Boyfriend tried to throw them away, something about them being soapy, but I told him I would tell you that he threw them away and into the recycling they went.

Happy Friday office workers. And a Happy Halloween as well! I'm going Trick-or-Treating! Jealous? You should be.

To Do List

Yesterday VEG introduced me and all her lovely readers to this link and I don't mind telling you that it inspired me to create my very own unemployed list of things to do. Who doesn't love a good To Do list?

Let me rephrase that. Who doesn't love a To Do list filled with things you have already done that you can cross off your To Do list so that you feel productive?

Exactly.

So here is my list of things to do today, Job Snob version 1.0.

1. Wake up.

2. Check email for job offers and/or encouraging family emails.

3. Check job websites for jobs

4. Feel bad about not checking for jobs this morning.

5. Attribute lack of job searching ambition to poor sleep last night.

6. Do groceries.

7. Do laundry.

8. Admit that you did the laundry yesterday so it can't count towards your Things I Did Today list


9. Go to the gym.

10. Feel bad about not going to the gym.


Look at that! There were 10 things on my list and I did 7 of them. I'm amazing. I don't know how I did everything that I needed to get done back when I had a job. There aren't enough hours in the day. Bonus points for also blogging. Super bonus points for blogging and cleaning the apartment simultaneously. And by cleaning simultaneously I mean letting The Boyfriend get started without me. Its really a one person job anyway.

Its not?

Fine. I'll go help. Maybe after that I will look for work.

But maybe I will get ready for Book Club tonight instead.

Like I said, there just aren't enough hours in the day!

Revenge of the Baked Goods

Instead of job searching, yesterday was much more about f*cking around. Don't get all up in arms, Record, I applied for a job this morning. Every once in a while I just need a break from the depressing reality that I don't have a job and what better way to do that than youtube?

It started innocently enough. I just wanted to get that clip of Gordon Pinsent reading Bieber's autobiography for you (really? a 16 year old needs to write an autobiography? really?) and one of the related clips was this:



Don't pretend like you don't like it. Its adorable. She's adorable. The song will get stuck in your head and it will be annoying but she's adorable. I especially like the tiny little baby dancing.

Now I'm not kidding when I say that this came up as a related video to Gordon Pinsent. I didn't go looking for this on my own. But I'm glad it was a part of my yesterday.

OK. Now onto the fact that I almost died yesterday while The Boyfriend alphabetized his DVDs.

So after messing around on the Internets getting nothing done in the way of job searching, apparently it was time to go to the mall because The Boyfriend needed some kind of cable for the TV. I'm not sure why I agreed to go. There was nothing in it for me. Remember when you were a kid and you were too young to stay at home by yourself but your parents had to go out to run impossibly boring errands and you ended up fighting with your brother in the store and getting grounded when you got home?

Yeah, thats what it was like yesterday. There was no point in my going yet I found myself traipsing around the Sony store and Best Buy like it was my idea to go.

Anyway, when we got home I rewarded myself with a slice of cake (yup, I made more baked goods for no reason. This is starting to become a problem). I must have inhaled wrong or chuckled at something because next thing I know cake crumbs are making their way to my lungs and I'm full on choking to death. I can't breathe, I'm coughing, tears are streaming down my face and The Boyfriend? Is busy doing something.

I gasp for water, please get me some water.

He turns and evaluates me, decides I'm fine and goes back to his "job". Meanwhile I'm still choking.

After about a minute of this I think the noise gets to him (how annoying can your girlfriend be, choking in the background while you are trying to get sh*t done?!) and he gets me a glass of water . I'm pretty sure it saved my life. My throat has been kind of raw ever since, you know from all the choking and wretching and coughing, but at least I lived to tell the tale.

I need to go back to work. Do you know someone that will hire me?

That or I need to stop baking.

Sharing Is Caring

Today is not so much about the job searching (on my blog anyway, in real life, its always about the job searching) but more just a couple of things that I wish to share with you.

First up, some sad news or some awesome news depending on your view of the whole thing. Remember back in the summer when the Dutch lost the world cup and my cousin wanted to make calamari? Well she can save herself some airfare because the little bastard died last night. Oh what? I'm supposed to be bummed that an octopus died? Please. A) he's an octopus, a creature I'm not terribly fond of to begin with and B) he predicted the demise of my team. I don't know what kind of crazy octopus voodoo he was using but at a time when my people needed all the positive energy, Paul the Octopus predicted the worst. So rest in peace Paul, but I for one am glad that I don't need to listen to your 'predictions' next time around.

Now the other thing that I wanted to share with you involves 2 famous Canadians. The thing about being a famous Canadian (do you like how I wrote that like I am one?) is that even if you're an idiot, we will still claim you as one of our own. I hope you enjoy this clip. I'm off to search for employment.

Spooky Little Girl

Over the summer, my idol Jen Lancaster recommended some reading material. I read through them, wrote some down on my list and more or less forgot about them. 

When the TV broke The Boyfriend decided that it was a dire enough situation that my reading materials were just not going to cut it. He needed reinforcements. Since there is no way you can convince me to go to the mall on a province-wide professional day (where do a-hole teens go when they have a day off? Exactly) he thought it would be a good idea to bribe me. A book on him if I agreed to battle tomorrow's leader's with him.

I can never turn down the promise of a book.

I was on a budget though. So no fancy new hardcovers (and there are quite a few that I have my eye on!). I wandered aimlessly for a while. I picked up The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Bronte but that was only $5, it doesn't count. Nothing struck my fancy. Nothing. And that's weird. In a bookstore. But I was limited by budget remember? There was an awesome 'authorized' biography of Roald Dahl (he basically shaped my childhood) but it was hardcover. There was a history of the world since 1945, but it wasn't cheap (probably because it was ginourmous). 

Finally I pulled out my list of books that I want to read. Yes, I do always carry it with me. Along with a list of all the books that I have read this year (we're at 55 as of last night).

I settled on Spooky Little Girl by Laurie Notaro. I would love to insert a cover picture here for you all but you will just have to take my word for it that its awesome. 

Its been a while since I read a book that I could not put down. Its a quick read, less than 300 pages. But its so fantastic. Basically this girl has the worst 2 days of her life back to back- I'm talking life shattering. So she decides to move away to her sister's place with her dog and start again. Except then she dies and finds herself in ghost school learning how to haunt before she will be given her assignment. Turns out she can't get to 'Heaven' until she does some extra credit because she was kind of a C+ human being. And her assignment?? I can't tell you that but its good. So good. 

I'm going to go on record now as saying that I think this would be a fabulous movie. And you should read it. I literally had to keep reading until I finished it last night and then I couldn't fall asleep because I was still thinking about it. I'm still thinking about it! Enough that I'm writing about it on a Sunday!

I wish I were still reading it.

Anyway, now I'm a fan of Laurie Notaro. And I think you should get your a$$ to a bookstore and pick this book up because I know you will just love it too.

A Ray of Hope

The other night I had dinner with a friend who loves her job.

I feel this is worth mentioning because for the most part I only have friends that are really not that fond of their jobs. The Record started a new job at the beginning of the year and quickly realized that her boss had his head up his a$$ and that her responsibilities were a lot more than she ever realized. Her paycheque though, obviously, stayed the same. Anna and Gloria hated their jobs right along with me and Gloria's new job is not exactly thrilling her.

Basically for a really long time I have been surrounded with like minded people. The kinds of people that are bored with their jobs, hate their bosses, and dream of something else.

But not my friend from the other night. No no. She loves her job. She's a grade 3 teacher in case you all were wondering. It was a long road to get here, she was working several different jobs, never had a weekend to call her own, sometimes wasn't even really making any money and still she kept going because she knew exactly what she wanted to do. And then when she was finished all her required teacher schooling, against all odds, she actually landed a full time job as a teacher (that's almost impossible to do here).

Obviously I am jealous. But honestly she so deserves this job satisfaction after how hard she worked to get it. Mostly it was just reassuring to know that it is possible to love your job. After my previous employment fiasco I had kind of forgotten that it was even possible. The people that I worked with never meant to get into the industry, started off the same way that I did, as a means to an end. And before they knew it, a couple of promotions and 15 years had passed. Game over. You know?

I'm glad that didn't happen to me, but will I ever be lucky enough to have a job that I love? Its definitely possible which is good to know. Honestly I'm pragmatic enough to know that I won't love every single aspect of my job. But I would be so thrilled if I could say that I enjoyed my job, enjoyed getting up to go there in the morning and didn't want to slice my wrists on Sunday night knowing that Monday morning was a short sleep away.