I'm a terrible trainer.
I mean, I'm awesome at showing someone how to do a job. I will teach you the tricks of the trade in record time, hold your hand through the tricky bits and instil in you the confidence that you need to be a star.
But I will also give you a little bit extra.
I don't mean to do it. Back in the day when Anna first joined me in the 7th circle of hell (that's the worst one right? way too lazy to actually look that up) I remember taking pride in the fact that I let her form her own opinions and judgments.
Of course, I didn't actually train her. I just got up whenever she entered a room.
Just kidding. But I really did make the effort not to colour her experience of what I found to be the most excruciatingly soul crushing work environment, confident that in time she would discover it for herself. Or be Veronica's stooge in which case I didn't need to be talking to her in the first place.
So when I was handed the Seagull's replacement today with zero instructions as to what to do with her, I was confident that I would be able to maintain my professional distance and just teach the newbie what she needed to do in terms of job description.
She must be some kind of witch because before I knew it I was insinuating that the Seagull was crap at her job, that the Dinosaur was an a$$hole and showing her the results of my unofficial office census from last week: douchebags vs. people I like. The scary thing is results broke about even on that one.
At the end of the day she was ready to take the reins (the purpose of teaching her how to do my job when I'm not leaving the position? To cover the Seagull's vacation leave for the next month) and I left her on her own for the last hour to vote. In addition to knowing how to shut the Reception area down at the end of the day she was also equipped with the knowledge that if you needed anything from the Dinosaur you probably weren't going to get it, it's normal to be ignored by people walking by and I hate that people say my name wrong, most notably the Dinosaur.
I'm pretty sure that I will have her for the entire day again tomorrow. The Dinosaur labours under the misapprehension that Reception is a horribly tricky job that requires hours of patient tutelage to grasp. In this, as in many other things, she is very very wrong.
Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to indulge in some more Royal Wedding 2011 footage and photos because the 8 times I've watched it so far really didn't cut it. And then I'll probably check out some photos from The Met Gala tonight.
And you? You should read this.