Tuesday, September 6, 2011

I Almost Forgot to Add a Title

I saw this article today when I was at work and even though it seemed like the perfect time to read it (I wasn't busy at all until the last couple of hours) I only read it now.

I saw the headline and thought to myself I will go home and come up with 7 reasons that combat those reasons because obviously working from home is the shit.

And then, as so often happens, I read the article and changed my mind.

At least I did after points 1 and 2 because let's face it, I'm all about staying in my pyjamas, unshowered,  as long as possible and other people annoy me on a pretty constant basis.

But then he had to go and start making sense. Obviously I'm not looking to do the start-up thing. I do not have the brain power or the creativity. I'm thinking more that I stay home and do the Carrie Bradshaw

So I've come up with a new list (we've established that I love lists right?  Good because that has actually come up three different times today): Reasons Why I Will Never Be Carrie Bradshaw

1. Am not a Whore. Obviously have top respect for Carrie and Samantha, even Miranda and Charlotte. Are you kidding? I worship at the SATC alter. But let's be real for a second. No one has that much sex with that many different partners. I don't even think that there are enough days in a year to accomplish those kinds of numbers. So no whoring, no writing about whoring, no Carrie Bradshaw-ing.

2. Do not get paid to Write. Why would I? I can't even decide to stick with any kind of format when making lists. Capitals? Some? None? But getting paid to write (even about whoring) is kind of an essential part of the Carrie Bradshaw way of life.

3. I can't do the SJP pout. You know the one I mean. I can't do it. I can't even do my own version of it (unless you count the Barbizon phase of my life when I was 20 and that's an inside joke so you can't count it) - I just look confused. But Carrie? There is a pout for all seasons! Angry pout, thoughtful pout,  Paris, Big, make up-checking pouts!

4. Less Well Shod. Like women everywhere I cannot resist a beautiful shoe (I'm looking at you here Blasina) but I'm also a) much poorer than Carrie (see #3) and b) prone to falling down and also hurting my feet. The falling is getting better but it doesn't seem like there is anything that I can do about the bleeding feet. This probably has to do with budget. Bigger budget = better shoes.

5. I'm Not Neurotic. Again, don't get me wrong, I love SATC (you know, before they jumped the shark with that second movie) but Carrie has issues. And I'm a no nonsense kind of gal when it comes to relationships. Don't like something about a guy, don't dump on him to your girlfriends, tell him directly so that he knows and he can stop guessing why you're pissed. But if Carrie were so direct, what would she write about?

6. NYC is Not my Home. And I suspect I wouldn't fit in well there at all. Pretty sure that I am lacking that je ne sais quoi quality that is required to call a super metropolis like NYC home. We've all heard NYC referred to as the fifth lady on the show, so I feel like its safe to say that NYC is an essential Carrie-esque life quality.

7. I Don't Have Curly Hair. Always wanted curly hair. Don't have it. Can't even manufacture it. And let's face it, curly hair comes with Carrie territory. So unless I look into a perm...

There you have it. A list of all the things I don't have or am not. I'm pretty ok with it. But I would still like to work from home. In my pyjamas with cookies and greasy hair. 

I guarantee The Boyfriend is thrilled that I do not work from home right now.

2 comments:

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