Friday, March 4, 2011

Cardboard Rabbits

Do cardboard boxes breed? I swear they must because there are always stacks of them in my Reception area. I will have gotten rid of one castle’s worth of boxes, either strong arming their owners to pick them up or sending them off with a courier, and more show up in their place.

I am currently surrounded by boxes. No word of a lie, if I felt like it, I could make an awesome cardboard castle. I just need a blanket, some pillows and a flashlight and I have a pretty awesome fort set up happening.

Instead I’m constantly harassed by people about the damn things. I understand. Cardboard boxes in this quantity are hideous. Off putting. A hazard even. Here’s the thing: I’m not going to move them.

For so many reasons. 1. I’m not allowed to leave my desk lest the phone should ring so unless you have some kind of magic cloning machine kicking around, I can’t be in 2 places at once. 2. They are heavy and I don’t remember ever reading in my job description that there would be heavy lifting involved. 3. If I call you and tell you that there are boxes here for you, you should be coming and getting them. Especially when you told me it was urgent that you be notified of their arrival. 4. Even if it was a part of my job description to move boxes (and again, its not) I wouldn’t move them today. I have a sore throat, I feel icky and remember? I fell this week. On my back.

I really don’t care if you think they would look better against the wall on the other side of the room. Unless you want to stack them up over there, they are staying where they are. Really? You think that the courier should have already picked them up? I asked him to, but just like the colleagues in the office that leave their ‘urgent’ boxes stacked up on my counter,  the courier is apparently going to pick them up on his own timeline.

Giving me suggestions about what to do with the boxes might make you feel like you’re contributing, but you’re not. You’re just pissing me off because despite my hair colour (blonde) I’m not actually stupid. I’ve already made arrangements for all the boxes setting up shop in my workspace. I can’t do much more because, again, I’m not moving them myself.

Both my supply and coat closets are full of boxes. There is no more space on any counter or even floor for more boxes. Someone please, get rid of the boxes!

On another note, there is a beautiful flower arrangement in the reception area right now. This girl that started here about a month ago had flowers sent to her by her boyfriend to congratulate her on her new job. Sweet right? Lovely cheerful flowers like gerbera daisies, some orchids, bright green foliage. And lilies.

Stargazer lilies. Pretty but very fragrant.

They gave the recipient a headache and finally she brought them up here for “everyone to enjoy”.

Now we’re enjoying lilies in reception, in the hallways, all over the office, all day. And every single person has to comment on the presence of the flowers as well as their fragrance.

I’m getting so tired of telling people that they aren’t my flowers, who’s flowers they are, why they are in reception and discussing how much they smell. Mostly guys work here – I think they actually find the smell almost offensive.

That is definitely the one thing that truly drives me bananas all day- the small talk. Having the same conversations about weather, flowers, and boxes 100 times a day. I’m not a fan of small talk, I’m not very good at it. This has been challenging.

Sadly I was raised well and I’m uber-polite and I smile and nod and carry on like I do give a sh*t that the flowers are fragrant.

In the end I just chopped the heads off the lilies. 

Problem? Solved.

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