These Boots Probably Weren't Intended for A Lot of Walking

Last week I got new boots. I had been searching for new boots for a while. I found a pair of equestrian style boots that I was obsessing over for a while, without ever having tried them on. I am always afraid to ask for my size, because let's face it, I have giant feet. And I always feel like they snigger a little bit before they tell me that no, they do not have such big shoes in stock.

I finally went to try on these boots on my lunch last week, convinced that it would be destiny. And it probably would have been, but for my fat calves. So the equestrian boots and I were not meant to be. I bet we could have shared a lot of great memories.

But in my disappointment, my eye fell on a pair of beautiful black, soft leather boots. They were tall, like I wanted, had the ability to slouch, but also to stretch and most importantly, they had no zipper so I could just jam my giant leg into them. It was love. Sure they had a heel, but I could handle a heel.

I should point out, that actually no, I can't really handle a heel. I used to wear heels all the time. But over time I developed a nasty habit of drinking and falling down in them and then, due to a weakening ankle because of said drunk falls, I just started falling down. The last time it happened, well over a year ago, I was literally just standing up and I fell. And that was the last time I really wore heels. Sometimes I feel like I could handle them again and I reach for some and then my boyfriend will just raise his eyebrows like "Really? Are you sure? Because I'm not going to carry you home". So I put them back and wear sensible flats instead.

Yesterday, I wore my new boots to work for the first time. Since I sit on my ass most of the day, I figured that the worst would be the walk to and from the bus. And I was right. The walk home from the bus at the end of the day was awful.

You know that burny feeling you get on the balls of your feet when you have been wearing heels for too long? I had that for the whole two blocks. Clearly I kept walking and had a smile on my face- I still gotta work the boots. But by the time I got into my apartment I wanted to cry. I just managed to hobble over to the couch to rip my lovelies off (because even though they caused pain in the end, overall they looked fabulous and I love them) before I might have passed out from the burny pain. All night they were burny. I had a bath, soaked my poor feet in icey water (incidentally, everytime I hurt myself, its on my feet, apparently this is a major problem for pisces. I am a pisces, and yes I do like long walks on the beach) and hoped that a good night's sleep would make them good as new.

Almost but not quite. So this morning (and here is where it starts to actually be a part of Cubicle life. I bet you were wondering where all this was going) I find myself to be kind of ornery. Yesterday, for some unknown reason (must have been the boots) the day went by kind of quickly. I actually worked, that might have had something to do with it. But I don't want to get into any bad habits, you know?

Currently its 9.22 and I am bored. I can't imagine spending the whole day like this and that, on top of my pained feet...well if I were you I would steer clear of me today.

But they aren't steering clear. They are annoying me. Maurice has brought his farty garbagey breakfast again and the smell is vile. I don't know how he can bring it here and expose other people to that odour!

Veronica on the other hand, is committed to doing nothing today. I asked her for her help (my mistake) because she is my supervisor and is supposed to know what she is doing and she could not have been more vague. "Oh I don't know", "it should be over there", "we'll have to look into that later". How about you actually earn your salary? How about we give that a shot? Amy is clearly unimpressed with her inability to get things done and it sounds like she is making Veronica farm out her work. Because her four monitors doesn't mean she gets more work done, it just makes her look busy. I can't wait to do her work. I'm sure she will have super clear instructions too.

The reps are trying my patience as well. There is this one guy that for weeks has been getting follow up emails about this, that and the other. And I swear I was starting to think that he didn't exist and no one got the memo. Finally today he had answered an email. Halleluiah. Oh but he was just emailing to tell the other guy that someone else had already gotten to it. Good job buddy, way to get 'er done.

Finally, Anna has been getting into it with me about how Family Guy sucks. Apparently it used to be funnier and its just not a smart show. I respectfully disagree. Because Family Guy is awesome. And that's just all there is to that. Anna knows I'm right, she just likes to play devil's advocate. But its ok. She is going to draw me a picture, depicting me on Slap A Co-Worker Day (just 2 more sleeps!).

So in closing: My feet hurt. I am irritated. And Family Guy rules. Just another day in the Cubicle.

But I still do have those awesome boots. And I didn't fall down in them. Yet.