Friday, October 2, 2009

Now Back To Our Regular Programming

I recognize that sometimes I can be a pain in the a**. As a child I used to run away from my cousin when she used to babysit. She hated to babysit me. Or ask my boyfriend, he has lots of stories. But somehow he still manages to live with me so I can't be that bad. Any my cousin and I get along just fine now.

But I have moments where I can tell that people are really uncomfortable around me. I look at the moment from outside my body, recognize the awkwardness perpetuated by me and continue to act like a jerk. I just don't have the energy to care.

You see, the unthinkable has happened. If you tuned in yesterday, you would have been disappointed not to find anything new. This is because I was at home sick. And actually sick to boot. This was not an elaborate ruse to get out of work (such as I had been planning for weeks). This annoys me because I so rarely really and truly get sick. But a lot of the people that I work with don't get the benefit of sick days (owing to the fact that they are Temps). If they are deathly ill, splooging (thanks for the new word Optimistic, told you I would use it!) infectious bacteria all over everything (did you know that germs can live on hard surfaces for up to 5 days? I learned that in a bathroom stall), they still have to come into work or forfeit an entire day's wages. Plus there is the suspicion upon your return: were you really sick?

I realize I am not helping the suspicion. But I like to think that I put enough forethought and effort into my planned sick days so as to avoid this. Except this time Karma decided it was time for some pay back. I would tell Karma where to stick it but I have a feeling that it would come back to me.

Anyway. As a result of this s**thole's sick days policy (or lack thereof) I am now infected with some unknown disease (probably a common cold but I feel like being dramatic). And I am miserable.

I don't really enjoy taking all kinds of pills or syrups when I am sick (they just trick you into feeling better and then you overdo it which just aggravates your illness causing a relapse) so I just solider on. Yesterday I could not do it. I just needed to stay home, hiding under the covers, enjoying my PVR library (incidentally, there is only good stuff on there when I don't have time to watch it) and reading. Or doing Dutch class homework. But not facing this place (that's not good for anyone's health).

I would have called it again today, but I am having people over tomorrow. Kind of a lot of people. That got out of hand quick. The point is, if I stayed home today that would be admitting that I am actually sick. And I don't have time for that until Sunday.

So here I am. Ready to fight. At least I thought I was. Do you know that for the last 2 weeks I haven't totally hated it here? I started to feel like things were relaxing to a point where it wasn't a complete punishment to be here everyday. And I thought that I could safely take the day off and things wouldn't totally fall apart.

Oh wishful thinking, how would we rationalize without you?

OK things didn't totally fall apart, but things didn't exactly get done either. One of my "duties" is to go through the collective email box and sort all the emails. We each have a folder (as well as a personal email address, nothing like doing things twice) and I go through, read ALL the emails and direct them to the appropriate person. We are supposed to have a 24 hour turnaround time, so these need to be done every day. Well, when I called in sick I forgot to ask to please go through the emails so that we wouldn't be behind. I figured that my manager who is supposed to be in charge of everything would have the presence of mind to delegate that duty or do it herself.

As is so often the case when it comes to trying to predict rational behaviour around here, I was wrong.

So this morning I needed to go through 2.5 days of emails. This took the better part of an hour. Additionally Veronica and Amy have decided that they no longer need to deal with emails. I am curious about how they are going to go about doing this in the 21st Century but hey, that's just me. Apparently I am not allowed to direct emails to them anymore. Even if they are addressed to them. They will send emails but they don't want the responses. Does this make sense to anybody? Anyone at all? I didn't think so, but being in a fever haze I thought that I would just double check.

So that annoys me. I am also annoyed that we were scheduled to have a one hour John-less meeting and it only took 15 minutes. I know that I am not exactly an advocate for meetings, but today, feeling like this, I was up for a little time wasting meeting. One full hour would have gone a long way to reducing the exhaustion I feel at the prospect of being here til 4.30. But no. Amy had to cut it to 15 minutes. And it might as well have been an Amy and Veronica one on one honestly. Veronica kept asking Amy questions that they probably should have covered privately beforehand. Amy would ask Veronica "Do you have anything else to add" and I kid you not she didn't say anything. Not one syllable passed those lips- just a blank stare as she rocked back and forth in her chair. She is in charge of me. The woman (technically she is a woman, but mentally she is a girl) is wearing pigtails (are they still pig tails if they are braided? Either way, they are a mess).

And finally, the incident that sparked this Friday rant (a FRIDAY! My day to be relaxed and thrilled that I made it to the weekend again, what a waste!): I came in today against my better judgement. And while I didn't expect any sympathy from my management team (I'm using "team" very loosely), I didn't expect them to completely ignore it. Basically we had the meeting. Then Amy and Veronica came around in tandem (why it takes 2 of them to decide what each of us is doing I will never know) to delegate work. They came to me, each lugging a large box of policies to process (did I just give too much away?). They plop them on my desk and say "OK so (my name here) is going to do this and then Maurice can carry on with those pages".

Um. Hello? I'm sitting right here.

Then as an afterthought they turn to me and say "Oh, how are you feeling?"

This is when I made it awkward "Still crappy. I'm pretty sure I have a fever so this (indicating boxes) will be loads of fun!".

Then I turned away and waited for them to leave my space.

I know, I can be a real peach. But they started it.

Enjoy your weekend! I'm going to have a donut.

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