Monday, November 16, 2009

A Cubicle Funk

So after 5 glorious days away, I am back. For those of you that are curious about what a cubicle dweller does with her days of freedom I read, went away for a night, drank some (more than I probably should have really), went to a hockey game, watched a hockey game and a football game, went shopping, and there was also some drinking (I think its warranted to mention it twice).

And I had almost managed to forget how much I hate this place. Its your mind's way of protecting you. That old saying: Absence makes the heart grow fonder (I'm a sucker for cliches)? Its a saying because its true. For whatever reason, when I'm away from here I manage to forget all the horses**t and convince myself that its not so bad. I sit in front of a computer all day, it could go by faster if I was just concentrating. Right?

But I would be wrong. Because in my delirious happiness at not being in the office I glazed over the grating irritant that is Veronica's voice, managed to blur out the cold steel of Amy's icy stare, and completely denied the existence of a certain grinning fool named John.

And although igorance is bliss, there really is nothing like a Monday morning to bring it all rushing clearly back.

And Dustin is gone. The lucky boy has managed to free himself from the grasping tentacles of this cubicle kingdom. I miss him though. Although he did leave me a very nice note (I hope so Dustin, I hope so). In fact his note got me thinking and was the inspiration behind this post. So thank you Dustin.

I obviously need a new job. I spend my weekends fantasizing about what it would be like to come into work on a Monday and not want to slice your wrists. I take the bus in the mornings and look at the other people and wonder what their jobs are and if they like them. I wonder what it would be like to work in a creative and warm work environment (this comes from staring into other people's work space...I love this time of year, it makes it so much easier to see everything through an open window...I mean, in my mind's eye...).

But when I sit and really think about how to go about getting this new magical job, I stall. See the last two jobs I have heard about and gotten from knowing someone that already worked here. And the ones before that were as a gym receptionist and a cashier at an arts and crafts megastore- the kinds of jobs that are listed in the newspaper or on a bulletin outside the store asking for applicants.

Somehow, I don't think that that is how it works anymore.

Which is a shame, because I was really good at that.

I don't know anyone in the industry that I want to be in. I look at job postings on industry magazine's websites but so far they only have jobs on the east coast (and I'm not willing to relocate). I subscribe to industry magazines but for about a year now all the articles have been about how the economy seems to be hitting the industry hardest. I don't trust Craigslist- I feel like I will apply for a job, go for an interview in a fake office and end up selling myself into some kind of white slavery. Or end up in a different version of this. Which would kind of defeat the purpose.

So I'm kind of lost as to how to go about this. I'm not sure what good a degree is if they don't show you how to get a job to use it. I remember one time, when I was in university, going to the liquor store and using my student card as ID and the girl that was working there was like "Oh I went to that school, what are you studying?" and I told her Communications and she was like "Oh wow, I just got my degree in Communications!" I remember being kind of dumbfounded that she had a degree but she was working in a liquor store. And look at me today. I might as well be working in a liquor store. Actually I think the government liquor store employees get paid pretty decently.

Yes folks, I'm in a cubicle funk. But one day I will look back at all of this and laugh. Especially if I pull a Julie Powell and all of this gets turned into a book, and then a movie starring Meryl Streep.

But I guess until then, I will continue to beg for followers, stare into other people's windows and gripe about what a truly heinous cubicle life this can be.


  1. If you come back to Amsterdam, I'm quite sure that I'd be able to get you an internship at an ad agency? - Your lovely Emily (the -20 version)

  2. As much as I would love to come back to Amsterdam, I just don't think its going to happen. Could we work something out where we create some kind of fake reference?