Friday, November 6, 2009

Please Let Me Win The Lottery

Friday is here again!!! Who else is thrilled about that? I know, all of you! Because Fridays are the best. Friday at the end of the day? The best time all week. Why? Because that is the furthest you can possibly get from a Monday.

But Friday aside, the funk is still in the air. People are stressed. Which makes them annoyed. Which makes them lash out. Which causes unpleasantness. Which digs the hole deeper. We'll never get out.

But there is light. A glimmer. Tonight (tomorrow night?) there is a huge jackpot up for grabs. Biggest in Canadian history. Which when compared to the mammoth American jackpots is nothing, but we're simpler folks, we don't need as much? Please join me in keeping your fingers crossed that I will win the lottery and I can quit this place.

Veronica is on the phone, with what I can only assume to be a rep. This rep has been away for a while. With Swine Flu. Pardon me, H1N1. Yay confirmed case in our office system. I sure hope they were up here for training in the days before they got sick.

Please let me win the lottery.

In all seriousness, people are dropping like flies around here. While I'm sure most of them are suffering from the common cold, or a regular flu, people are freaking out and my nostrils are starting to burn from the pungent aroma of hand sanitizer. I hate the smell of that stuff. I'm no doctor, but I'm fairly certain that the only thing that hand sanitizer accomplishes is dry skin on your hands. And then you have to muck around with moisturizer and then you get it all over your keyboard and your mouse and everything gets all slimey. No thanks. Call me old fashioned but I prefer good ol' soap and water. So traditional. So effective. So simple.

What else, what else?

I was thinking about office supplies earlier. Don't really know why. Or how. But I was thinking about how office supplies are so exciting initially. How you can walk into your supply cupboard or drawer (we have a drawer, kind of sad) and look around and try to think of uses for all the fun, colourful post-its and highliters, the different pens, pads of paper. Did I mention the post-its? I can't explain why, but I love post-its. Their bright little stacks in so many different colours just astound me. So you pile your arms full of these post-its and highliters, new pens and delightful little pads of paper and you get back to your desk and you start rearranging them, managing to waste a good 20 minutes in the process. And then, the excitement kind of wears off because you realize that most of your work is done on the computer and you don't really have that many uses for concrete office supplies. I rarely highlight anything. Post-its seem to fall off. And pads of paper sit unused all over my desk because nothing noteworthy happens (at least nothing that I would write down and then leave lying around the office).

My office supply buzz has worn off.

Please let me win the lottery.

I'm the office B*tch today. Apparently everyone has made a big mess and it has fallen to me to clean it up. It was hurriedly explained to me (read: not explained to me at all) and then Veronica abandoned me to sit at her four monitors and bask in supermonster glory. She is not available to answer questions because she is very busy and important (busy basking) and when I do manage to sneak a question past her she sighs really loudly, pauses for effect and then answers with such exasperation in her voice, to make it really clear that she thinks I am an imbecile.

Please please PLEASE let me win the lottery.

What to cap off this randomness with? I'm ashamed of my randomness just so you know. I like there to be a certain flow to my posts. Sometimes that just isn't possible. I hope that this won't deter you from coming back again. I like knowing that you're reading. I feel bad some days when I don't post (like when I am at home sick). Or if I post late, I feel bad then too. But the randomness. Its shameful. It doesn't make sense, its not particularly funny, or insightful. It just happens. And I'm sorry.

It felt like a herd of elephants just ran through the office. I'm not sure what is so important that Veronica needs to run through the office, but I'm not a supermonster so I can't possibly understand. But why the running. Fast walking doesn't work? Running seems more professional? I can see how one makes that mistake, as nothing screams professionalism quite like the sounds of someone tearing through the office with lead feet.

Please oh please let me win the lottery. I promise I will still blog about it. But it will be about how fabulous my life is sans working. And about how I won the lottery. You will love reading about all the things that I will do with my winnings.

Fingers crossed for me! Enjoy the weekend. Hopefully when you return on Monday it will be to read the tale of how I quit my job here. Wouldn't that be the best present of all?

PS Kim Kardashian is house shopping with her on-again BF. This makes me happy. Against my better judgment I like Kim. I want her to be happy. When I win the lottery, Kim and I will be BFFs.

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