Tuesday, November 3, 2009

I Should Have Stayed At Home

Well Boys and Girls, I have been in the office for a whopping 20 minutes and already I'm wishing that I stayed at home. I have a feeling that this could be an angry post. If you don't want me to kill your good mood, I would suggest coming back tomorrow.

OK, for those brave souls that decided to stick around, let's get into it.

I work with a bunch of imbeciles. I don't know where they found these inbred morons but for some reason the powers that be saw fit to promote them and give them more money. So that they could do what exactly? Mess things up with less accountability?

What is it about being in management that allows you to float around the office completely unaccountable for anything that you do? Are managers promoted because they do less harm when they are paid more to do less? Is it a way of keeping the dimwits out of the way? Seriously.

Yesterday I was told to get through as many products as I could, send as many out to the customers as possible. So I did 64. Doesn't sound like a lot but its fairly respectable. When I send things out to customers, there is generally a letter explaining what exactly is going on. We have set letters for certain situations because it saves time when the computer generates all the appropriate information for us. This way we don't waste time looking for all the pertinant information and it also cuts down (in theory) on spelling and grammar errors.

But of courses these standardized letters need to be created by someone.

For reasons never made clear to me (why would they be? I'm just an insignificant underling) Turd Fergason was entrusted with this job.Turd just...he makes me angry. He has an annoying laugh, he's a consultant (so he makes like 3 times as much money as me) and I can't for the life of me understand what it is that he gets paid so much money to do.

But I digress.

Turd Fergason is responsible for creating all of these letters that are supposed to make my life easier. Except that he f**ks them up so often that I don't really know why he bothers. I could write the letters faster by hand with all of the mistakes that he has made and all the time that he has cost me.

So I sent out 64 letters yesterday that explained what was enclosed was "for to your review".

This morning Veronica brings one back and points out my error. Tells me that I should be checking my work to make sure that mistakes like this don't happen.

OK, wait, I'm sorry but I need a Time Out. The point of those letters is to save me time not looking over each letter. I check over the names, make sure the address is correct but the actual body of letter? Not my problem. That's Turd's department. So Turd made the mistake. Which cost me time. And a lecture.

But oh- and this is the best part- I may need to correct them all.

I don't think I need to tell you how I feel about this. I think you can probably tell. Super impressed. I'm hoping that Amy vetoes Veronica's dumb-a**-ness. If anyone should be making these corrections its Turd. Or at least side with me that Turd is an idiot and apologize for making me redo them.

I still haven't heard which way this is going to go. I'm hoping that Amy will just send them out in light of the fact that we are all so behind. Again.

And we're losing a member of our team. Its not someone that I have ever mentioned, namely because he's not a dumba** and he keeps his head down and works. We shall call him Dustin. He works hard, he's a nice guy and he was so thoroughly unhappy here and in the city that he is moving home all the way to the other side of the world. He could not get far enough away. I feel that.

And while we are all going to miss him and the work that he ploughs through, this does open up a position to move one of the Temps into. A permanent full time position, with benefits and sick days.

What's that? They aren't going to move a Temp into that position? Well what are they going to do with it it then?

Hire someone new.

Of course.

So while the Temps get their balls busted for coming in sick, while they are strung along so that the company can figure out if they can hire them on, we'll just hire a brand new person who doesn't know how to do anything and give them benefits and sick days. And a salary. Yeah, that does make a whole lot of sense. My idea sucks. Why would you want to reward someone who has worked hard for over a year, knows how to do everything and has proven themselves to be reliable and a team player? That's crazy talk.

Do you all see what happens when John is here? As soon as he comes back, drama and anger explodes all over this little cubicle I call home. Unfairness lurks at every turn and if you're not careful, there's a good chance that you will trip over some hypocrisy.

I hate this place. I am jealous that Dustin got to quit. I also watched Bridget Jones' Diary the other night and I swear I got a contact high from that part where she tells Daniel Cleaver and her old job where to shove it.

In a Cubicle World there really is nothing like the bottom line.

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