Tuesday, November 10, 2009

PollyAnna Tribute

While trying to come up with something for today (because of yesterday's lacklustre performance there was more pressure) I realized that today is my Friday. My Friday. I was talking to Anna about my inability to come up with something to write. Again. And because she has a one track mind, Anna told me that it was our Friday. That we don't have to come back to work for 5 whole days. So I guess we're both on the same page today.

Anyway, it got me thinking (don't worry, I took the necessary safety precautions). Today being my Friday, when it is in fact a Tuesday, is a positive thing. This is good news. I just have to get through today. That's it. I can totally do that right?

So I decided that today's post would be positive for a change. Don't worry- by Monday morning I will be back to my cantankerous old self. But for today, I'm Polly-f**king-Anna!

Almost. Let's not go crazy. After all, my positive and someone else'se positive are probably really different.

For example, the first positive thing is that I don't have to deal with Veronica's bulls**t for the next 5 days. I don't have to listen to her point out other people's errors in a voice loud enough for a stage production. I don't have to watch her waddle around in flip flops in November. Or admire her manicure (she has coloured tips. I'm sorry- I think that looks cheap). Or her pedicure. I don't have to listen to comments like "Its funny that I come in later than you but get to leave earlier". Or watch her have 2 slider burgers from a local fast food place as an appetizer to the lunch her mom made her. I don't have to see her bra poking out of her plunging necklines or hear about her friends' babies. I don't have to deal with her at all. For 5 glorious days.

The next positive hits closer to home. Well to my cubicle home anyway. Maurice. I don't have to deal with his attempts at being social. There will be no vocabulary lessons , or pithy dialogue. Of course, into every life a little rain must fall and there is a good chance that he will wear my favourite lime green shirt while I am away, but I think that its a chance I'm willing to take. The next 5 days will be Maurice-free and that is A-OK with me!

John has returned from his ocean adventure/swine flu outbreak. Which means that he can currently be found lurking around corners, spying on everyone and generally stirring up the pot. I don't think he has done any work since his return (although there is a rumour that he was responsible for the permanent hiring of the Temps last week. He probably was since they will now be earning less than before) and just his presence irks me. So the next 5 days will also be free of John and his life coach lectures. No lame jokes or short shirt sleeves. No sh*t eating grin to stalk my working hours. Just peace.

So it seems that so far my positives have all been about the people that I don't have to deal with. Let's shake it up a bit. The next positive thing about being away from the office for 5 days is...no archaic computers to contend with! I cannot begin to describe the frustration this morning (and most mornings) when my computer stubbornly refused to print, instead freezing up and taunting me with its unwillingness to finish the task. PC's suck. That's really all there is to it. The sooner the world makes Macs the norm, the happier and more productive we all shall be.

I just thought of another most excellent positive about my impending vacation: no commute. I don't have to drag my butt out of bed on cold rainy mornings, fight with my umbrella on the way to the bus while icy wind attacks my face and hands (I need a hat. And gloves). I don't have to deal with a bus driver who is kind of a b***h. She will totally call you out on the bus if you didn't pay enough, or if you walked in front of the bus. If people won't shuffle down the bus, she won't move either. Most let it go. Not her.You gotta admire her guts, but she's liable to get killed. And in the morning, I just don't want to hear it. I also don't have to sit beside large, smelly people, or loud cell phone talkers, or those that have no concept of personal space. If I'm taking the bus at all in the next 5 days, it will be because I am drunk. Safety first.

Of course before all of these wonderful things happen, I have to get through today. And since it is still really early (I haven't even been here for 2 hours yet) I'm fairly certain that it's going to be a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong day. But when it's done....oh man will it have been worth it.

Hope you all survive the rest of the week! I'll be back on Monday!

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