Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Doc, Dopey, Sleepy, Bashful, Happy, Sneezy,...GRUMPY

I know that Canada won another gold medal last night and that the Canadian men's hockey team totally dominated Team Norway, but I am in the worst mood.

Like I seriously would like to punch someone in the face. Anyone. I don't even care who it is. It would just be so satisfying right now. So if you have someone in your life that you feel needs to be punched in the face, send them my way. We will both feel better.

These early mornings are making me nuts.

How will I make it through another 2 mornings? I should clarify. How will I make it through another 2 mornings without murdering an innocent?

Its not looking good.

Why do people talk at 6.30? I enjoy a good conversation as much as the next person, but do you know what I don't enjoy? People talking at 6.30 in the morning. There is just no need for it. Let's all play the quiet game. First one to talk loses.

I couldn't even be nice to The Boyfriend when he called to see if I got to work OK. He left the house (we don't actually live in a house. Its an apartment, but it just feels more right to say house) before me so he's sort of been up longer (he's been functioning longer anyway) but I can't bother to be nice. Just don't have the energy. But its OK- he knows that I'm an a-hole in the morning. He won't take it personally.

I'm just not one of those people that gets out of bed and is automatically awake. I mean, legally, I'm awake. I can walk and grunt and go through the motions of being a real person. But I'm actually still asleep and any attempt to coax me out of my sleep will end badly. Its like Stepbrothers - you don't wake up a sleepwalker or you will get pushed down the stairs.

Wow, ok I think I need to watch that movie again. So many life lessons.

Even the imagery of Dale and Brennan sleep walking isn't enough to jog me out of my snark attack.

When I get home this afternoon (this is the one good thing about starting at the dawn's buttcrack) I'm going to watch a new episode of 16 and Pregnant and make myself feel better about the sh*t state of my professional life. Like, at least I have a job. And no baby. And more importantly, no dumba** boyfriend that spends $300 on a playstation instead of a crib. Gary.

Where was I?

Oh right, the people talking. Like its not bad enough that I am rudely awakened by my alarm clock at 5am (slept in this morning people!), now I have to sit her and listen to Veronica try and figure out an email that she sent out yesterday that doesn't make any sense? Like its my fault that I'm not understanding?

How do you spell orange?

(For those of you not in the know, that's a kind of Mean Girls reference. I hate explaining references- go watch it!)

Basically I'm conflicted. On the one hand I am hating that the Olympics are in my city and messing up my day. I hate waking up early. I hate walking to the bus in complete darkness hoping not to get raped or attacked by a coyote (I know, coyotes are wimps, but they still have teeth! And I imagine they can be kind of sharp). I hate that my bus in the morning is full (at 6am, what the what!?). I hate that my bus is full in the afternoon. Mostly I hate the early mornings and the inflexibility of my management "team" to allow me to skip my breaks and just get out of here. John.

But on the other hand I'm loving the spirit of the city. The gold medals. The parties (although as yet, I have only heard about them. Next week I will experience them). All the people coming to the city to have fun. I love all that.

I just wish I didn't have to wake up so early to get around it all.

So if you see me on the street in the morning (you won't know it because you don't know what I look like) don't put your fingers near my face, don't smile at me, don't ask me for directions. Wait until after noon. Or you might die.

PS Let's be Twitter friends so that we can constantly stay in touch about our emotional needs. Sounds awesome no?

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