Why I Hate The Bus- An Essay By Me

I can hear someone chewing. In the end they will talk about me, the one that went balistic one day because a co-worker was chewing too loudly.

But I think the judge will understand.

Its not even 7am and my nerves are already completely shot to hell, my patience is already worn out and my tolerance for any bullsh*t is zero.

I'm excited about today.

I really tried to be anyway. I have my performance evaluation this morning so I figured that I should be in some kind of chipper mood, play their game in an effort to get the raise that I have been waiting for for the last year and a half.

It started with the fact that being in severe pain last night (god its great to be a girl. F*ck you Mother Nature) I neglected to set my alarm for 4.30. I think its just completely against my nature to be waking up that early and my subconscious just won't stand for it. Luckily The Boyfriend stirred at 4.42 and I had the presence of mind to look at the clock. And then stare at it trying to figure out what it meant. And then jump out of bed with my heart racing.

But, crisis averted.

So I got dressed (clothes were all laid out last night, genius), had breakfast, brushed my teeth, watched a little morning programming and left the house with the aim of catching the bus at 5.22 like yesterday. It was pouring rain. I don't think you know the meaning of pouring rain unless you live on the west coast. You think you do, but you don't. I waited in the car (The Boyfriend drove me to the stop because this 5.22 bus doesn't make it to all the regular stops) until 5.17 and then got out under the careful supervision of The Boyfriend (its all dark and scary and he doesn't like me to be out there alone).

Well 5.22 comes and goes. So does 5.25. And 5.30. At which point The Boyfriend yells at me that he has to leave me or he will be late for work. I wave him off. I am now standing alone in the dark, its raining, and I'm semi-surrounded by forest. I could easily be killed (although I don't think anyone would be foolish enough to take me on at 5.30am). I wait.

And wait.

And wait some more.

I'm freezing to death. And I wait.

I call the transit authority.

The woman on the line tells me that there is no 5.22 bus and the next one will come at 5.41. I ask her how I managed to catch the 5.22 bus yesterday at this same stop (literally on the dot at 5.22)- does it only run on Mondays(imagine a heavy handed approach to sarcasm on that last question)? Her explanation? Perhaps the 4.52 bus was running late.

Is it acceptable for buses to run a half hour behind schedule now?

I'm told that the only way for me to get to work for 6am is to take the bus at 4.52. I finally got on the bus at 5.45. Wearing my impressed face. But like amped up to uber impressed. I wore that expression on my face the whole way into work, stared every newcomer down so they wouldn't sit next to me. Because honestly, I don't think that I could have handled a smelly person, or someone shaking out their umbrella at me or someone listening to really loud really bad music. I just couldn't do it.

So no one sat next to me.

And here I am. Got here at 6.20. Plan to not take one of my breaks and a half hour lunch and still leave at 1.30. Because honestly, they can take those other 5 minutes and shove them up their a$$.

And really, this all comes back to John. If he wasn't so insistent on "business as usual" then maybe I wouldnt have to readjust my entire schedule to make sure I was still here for 8 hours a day. And translink wouldn't have had the opportunity to screw me. Or he could have given me a guarantee that I wouldn't be penalized for a transit mistake, like I asked him. I hate him a lot.

And in just over an hour I get to hang out with him and discuss my performance so you know this day is just going to get 100 times better from here.

Please send me good thoughts. I want a raise. I deserve a f*cking raise.

I need tea.