Thursday, February 18, 2010

My Brain Is On Strike

You know how sometimes you sit down to write a post and you totally have a story or some thoughts to relate? You sit down and it just all comes flowing out of you, you can't type it out fast enough?

This is not one of those mornings.

I am beyond exhausted and a side effect of this exhaustion, for me, is a complete lack of brain function. My brain is on strike. It refuses to be witty or funny or make any kind of sense at all. It doesn't let me engage with people in the morning, or even concentrate long enough to let me read on the bus (an activity the rest of me so enjoys).

It does, however, let me watch TV. As long as there is no actual thinking involved. I'm strangely OK with this, seeing as I enjoy some pretty crap TV. The Bachelor, 16 and Pregnant, American Idol, Toddlers and Tiaras (if I get the chance)-- if its classified as crap TV, I probably love it.

Remember how yesterday I said that I was going to go home and watch 16 and Pregnant and make myself feel better? Totally worked. That girl was a mess. And the guy didn't do anything- no really, he left. So I guess things aren't so bad in the Cubicle.

Except that its all relative.

It worked temporarily anyway.

This was one of those mornings that the alarm went off way too quickly. The Boyfriend slept like the dead. Ready for this classy guy? He said to me this morning that he could have slept til 10 this morning, that Friday night he's going to have a bath and a beer (which he did last night before bed and apparently this is the secret to his sleep success) and maybe pop some pills, really sleep hard.

I'm so proud.

He also said that I was like an angry retard in the morning. And I know that's totally not PC and I try really hard not to say the word because I really don't like it. But its early and my brain has no filter and against my better judgement I've been laughing ever since.

Nobody died in the making of this morning though, which I always consider a plus. In fact, I think I caught my male bus driver (a big-boned fellow) reading a romance novel while he waited at the bus loop. How can that not make you happy? Oh and Johnny Weir skates tonight. And although he is American, I can't even hold that against him. Because I'm pretty convinced that he is my soulmate. I just read that he spends a lot of time listening to Edith Piaf and I'm not going to lie, I have about 36 of her greatest hits on my ipod and in honour of Johnny Weir, I'm listening to that today.

(Although want to hear something messed up? So I downloaded the album off itunes and I'm listening to just the album and the last Elton John. WTF? Guess I got a bonus song? Weird)

Now I'm going to admit something extraordinarily stupid on my part. Anna brought in an article on Johnny Weir this morning (thank you Brian) and the title was something like "Johnny Weir with a D" and I could not figure out the joke. I was like "Johnny Deir? Is that like a movie character?" Yeah, I wish I was joking. But it wasn't until I wrote out the word weird just now that I got the joke.

I think that this last part, more than anything else that I could say to you, illustrates my broken brain. I need more sleep. And maybe a red bull. But the smell of red bull makes me want vodka. So maybe tea would be a better option. Or I should just go round the corner and have a redbull vodka. I'm sure its open before 7. I'm even more sure that its completely legal to sell alcohol that early in the day.

Yeah, that last part was sarcasm. That part of my brain still works. Thank God.


  1. Lol! If it makes you feel any better, I've been hearing everyone call him "Johnny Weird" already. And I totally knew that was a goof name.

    But when I actually saw "Johnny Weir" for the first time. It didn't click that that was his real name, instead, I just thought that person misspelled his goof name by leaving off the "D".

    I'm a moron.

  2. That does make me feel a whole lot better. Thank you.