You Asked For It

Apparently my posts have been too short lately. I guess their length is not sufficient to waste enough company time. I am sorry that I have been letting you down. Slackers. But I will try harder. You know what that means though don’t you? That there will be fewer coherent thoughts, fewer anecdotes that have a point and there will be more rambling.

But this is what you are asking for, and I’m nothing if not a slave to my public. Let the ranting begin.

Rant #1.
Don’t be a disgusting pig Veronica. I agree, it was very nice of Amy to bring in delicious looking (I didn’t eat one) mini apple pies that were still warm from the oven. But I don’t think it was necessary for you to shove them into your mouth in the middle of a team meeting while everyone is watching. I also don’t think it was necessary for you to grab 2 in the space of 20 minutes. I’m all for enjoying a snack, but didn’t your mother ever tell you to bring your food to your face, not your face to your food? I was appalled that our newly confirmed Senior Rep was shoveling food into her mouth like a greedy 2 year old that still hadn’t mastered the art of utensils. You know that motivational poster with the large bridge shoving cake into her mouth? The caption reads: “Nom nom nom nom nom”- that’s what it was like.

Rant#2.
I seriously hope now that “acting” positions (manager and senior rep) have been made official, you stick to your word and butt the f**k out John. That’s really all that I have to say on that. Will keep you posted on any noteworthy non-word-keeping moments – don’t worry, I’m sure there will be plenty.

Rant #3.
I know that we are forced to work together and there are plenty of us that are totally disgruntled. I understand that you want to vent and that the lunch room seems like the perfect place to do it. And sometimes it is. But here’s the thing—sometimes, I’m just trying to eat my lunch and for one glorious hour forget that I work in this s**thole, that John doesn’t write my horoscope every day (ie if you work harder at the office, things will get better), and pretend like I do have prospects that will lift me out the gates of hell soon. So please don’t bring up all the idiotic things that people have done in the last 4 hours. I’m not surprised—I work with the same people. I can’t change anything, I have no power. Let’s just eat lunch ok? And another thing- we work together, that doesn’t necessarily mean that we are all friends. So while occasionally its ok to discuss things in our personal lives like boyfriends and parents, pets and parties, I don’t need to be dragged into your family drama. I don’t know you that well. I don’t know your family (and by the sounds of it, I don’t want to either…) and really, you just make me uncomfortable.

Rant #4
Creating a problem so that I am forced to have a weekly meeting with you while you discuss what I can do to make my situation at work better, doesn’t help anyone John. And when you forget about it for a month, I am going to assume one of two things. 1. We are finished “fixing” me or 2. This was never really that important to you in the first place. I don’t really care which one it is honestly, as long as I don’t have to have those meetings anymore. Oh, but that was never your plan was it John? No no no, you wanted me to think that we were done didn’t you? It’s all a part of your sick game isn’t it? I am not impressed that after a month of thinking I was in the clear, you decided to book another meeting. Honestly, how about I use that hour to…I don’t know, this could be a stretch, but I could work?

Rant #5
What does Time have against me? I am looking forward to Thursday—my friend is coming from Sweden for an extended stay. And yesterday, a Monday no less, went by really quickly. I thought today would be more of the same: keep my head down, get to work, day is done like that (snap fingers)! We even had a bogus meeting this morning. And it was all for nought. Time has frozen. Only when you have something to look forward to. It can’t speed up when you are bored to death, or want something to be over with already (like going to the dentist). No no Time doesn’t roll like that. I’m bored, disgruntled and I have a glorious day of freedom to look forward to on Friday and Time is not on my side at all. Bastard.