Monday, August 31, 2009

How Swede It Is

Absence is supposed to make the heart grow fonder. But either I have no heart or the absence wasn’t long enough. I definitely had no feelings of fondness coming in to work this morning. But I did manage to drag my butt out of bed and shower so a good start all around.

I had a lovely weekend. My Swedish friend arrived safe and sound and we spent the weekend catching up and doing touristy things. The kinds of things that you never do in your own city because its right there and you never have the time nor the inclination to go see them. You need a Swede to show you the way. I live in a pretty glorious place!

But now I am back.

So before I forget, some housekeeping. I was told on Thursday by an HR personality that our new employers do actually keep a record of all websites that you visit. If you are visiting websites too frequently (by their standards) they will talk to you about it and it could mean the end of your job. Plus, given the nature of my blog I don’t really need/want them reading it. So. I fear that this will be my last post written during work. I will obviously continue to blog. I need it now. And undoubtedly in the coming days and weeks John and Amy and the rest of the collection of imbeciles I call colleagues will have plenty of opportunity to f**k things up. And I will be on the front lines reporting. I just wanted to let you know so that you weren’t left wondering why I abandoned you. I won’t. I just might be posting later in the day.

So Monday mornings are always a pain in the a**. A whole week to get through, backlogged emails from the weekend, reminiscing about the weekend and how great it was etc. Its tough. This morning was introduced to yet another new temp. Seems nice. Seems really smart actually which is unusual in the new people. Guess they are starting to have standards when they hire people. Weird. He’s asking a lot of questions. Smart questions. And I’m learning nothing, except that Veronica is full of s**t. But this isn’t something I didn’t already know, so I guess I’m learning nothing. I met this new guy after reading an email notifying us that 2 of our temps would be going back to school in the fall and leaving us at the end of the week. As is customary, the departing colleagues sent an email wishing us luck in our future endeavors. And one of them decided to kiss a little a** on the way out. Apparently John and Amy are the “most rational, down to earth and in touch with reality bosses” she has ever had. Am left wondering what kind of people she worked for before? Drug smugglers? Pimps?

Also on the weekend, started to experience the first of what I am convinced is carpal tunnel syndrome. Every time I put any pressure on my mouse wrist I get pain, kind of like the pain you get when you roll your ankle. Am annoyed. To add to the fun, my shoulder and neck (which did not give my any problems on the weekend when I wasn’t working) have seized up and worked themselves into a hard knot. I cannot turn my head. I don’t think I need to tell you how impressed I am. So John comes over and starts talking about getting me a second keyboard and mouse. That’s the absolute last thing that I need. Against my better judgment I tell him that actually I think I am starting to actually experience carpal tunnel syndrome (or at least something similar).

Do you know what he does?

He laughs!

He laughed at my pain. One of these days, one of these days! POW! Right in the kisser! I can’t wait.

In the meantime, I’m still in pain, still disgruntled, still without hope, still without a puppy (puppies make everything better). But I do have my Swede!

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