Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The Bright Side of Life

I'm the first person to admit that I might have hit my head if I'm writing about the bright side of life. But for those of you coming to read snarky anecdotes of cubicle life, I'm sure I can fit something in. It must just be the heat (we're in the middle of a heat wave, the likes of which has only been seen twice before, once in 2004 and before that in 1928!)--its just too hot to be angry.

Let's start small.

Maurice is wearing his lime green shirt. Words cannot express the joy that this brings me. He's so proud of it too. And I do believe that there are less buttons done up than usual. He's brought his P-I-M-P today. Yay!

We have new people in our office! They started yesterday. And are a far cry from the social morons we had before (Sebastien excluded obviously). They make jokes. Actual jokes. They laugh. They talk to each other. AND they made a reference to drinking. For those of you that work in jobs that you like, with people you enjoy being around, these will all seem like normal everyday things. But to me who has had to endure fake laughter, disapproving glances for voices raised above a whisper and emails about appropriate office conduct, this is all very liberating and hopeful.

We are manager-less today! John and Amy are both away at manager training. Which means I don't have to worry about John sneaking up on me. Or talking to me. Or looking at me with disapproval while simultaneously grinning like the f**king chesshire cat (does he not get how creepy this is? how does he even do it? There must be some serious mirror time involved...although how he can stand to look at his face for more than 2 minutes together I will never understand). Oddly enough, a day sans management makes me work harder, to prove a point-- I don't need you to supervise.

And with the managers away Veronica hasn't stepped in to be the big bad boss. I don't know what the deal is, usually she would be salivating to be in charge, show us all the she has what it takes to be in charge. Maybe she isn't feeling well. Maybe she feels left out--wanted to go to the manager's meeting. But Veronica, you are not a manager. And hopefully you never will be because you would be like Janice in Wanted, stuffing your face and leaning over people, getting them to do your work. Evil b*tch.

And finally--the air conditioning is working. Sort of. I can kind of feel a cool breeze if I sit really still for a minute. Our theory is that the building managers want to impress the new people coming in so they will regulate the temperature for like a month (that's pretty generous) to lull them into a false sense of security that everything works properly in this building. And then BAM! the weather will change and we will all be screwed. But for now, I am content to enjoy the cooler air.

Don't worry, its not all good. I'm being threatened with having to give up most of the rest of my vacation days because John and Amy are bottom line corporate puppets. I'm fighting it. But its in the back of my mind. So I'm sure that that will provide me with things to whine about at a later date.


  1. Your friendly neighbor. No the other one.July 28, 2009 at 1:15 PM

    How can THIS weather make ANYONE happy??? It's absolutely dreadful! It's fit for nothing beyond scorpions and other terrifying insects that crawl the death of a desert.

  2. It's not that it makes me happy per se. its just that it makes me too exhausted to be angry and bitter. THAT takes a lot of energy!

  3. i like it when my co-worker wears her wig and her leather pants to work.

  4. So you have a more relaxed dress code I guess?