You Kill More Flies With Honey...

Today, before I even got to work, I got a text warning me about the state of affairs at the office. Anna, who starts work a an half hour earlier, told me that I would vomit on sight, that it looked like a cheerleader threw up in here.

The office was covered in blue and white streamers. Blue and white streamers tucked into the ceiling tiles, taped to cubicle walls, draped on anything that would stay still long enough. And our new employers were standing on the steps, extending their hands in friendship, welcoming us on board.

There might also have been a cake.

All very nice isn't it?

Well i think that they did it to distract us from all the things that would go wrong in the course of the morning. Veronica is cracking under the pressure of all our questions, actually yelling at some unfortunate lackey (but had 2 pieces of cake this morning and is currently devouring several slices of pizza to make it better), John is gleefully popping in and out of our cubicles and Amy seems happy. Which freaks me out. Our emails don't work properly, we have to toggle between 2 separate and completely different systems and my shoulder hurts.

Last night I was in so much pain that my Swedish friend offered to give me a massage. That's right folks, I got me a Swedish massage. She was appalled at the state of of my shoulder. After that I decided that one of those heating bags thrown on my shoulder might help loosen things up, at least enough to sleep soundly.

It didn't.

This morning John sweeps into my cubicle and asks me how things are. Things are fan-f**king-tastic John. He then surprises the hell out of me by announcing that because my shoulder is bothering me so much I will be taken off my work for the time being. They will find some task for me to do that won't aggravate it and tells me that I should go and get some physio to work out the rest. He tells me to sit tight and wait for Amy to get in so that they can find something for me to do.

I dutifully wait. And distract other people while I am at it. Obviously.

So no one ever comes and I start to realize that once again John was only paying lip service. Both John and Amy see that I am working. Have been all day. But neither of them does anything about it. Colour me surprised. John did come up with the answer though. Apparently the pain that I have is my own fault becuase of the way that I use the numbers on the keyboard. No joke, thats the problem. Guess how this can be fixed? An ergonomic keyboard.

So the way that I see it, there are 2 problems with that. 1) I'm not convinced that that will do anything to lessen the pain. and 2) I doubt that I will ever see this magic keyboard.

Welcome to the new company. New name, same old dips**ts running things.