The Breakfast Club

Steak dinner? Check.
Drinking substantial bodyweight? Done and done.
Touristed (What? Its a word. Its not? It should be) in my own city? You know it.
Got a good night's sleep on Sunday night. Yup.

By all accounts, I should be ready to tackle this week head on. At least get through the Monday. But there is something about this place with its beige-ness that just manages to f**k up the best intentions.

Do you know, that as I walked (ran) out of the office on Friday there was actually laughter in the office? I swear on my dog (he lives with my parents but he's mine) that there was. Actual laughter. From the stomach- you can't fake that. I actually caught myself thinking Maybe we have all turned a corner, these people aren't so bad after all.

Well there was something in the water this weekend and I reserve the right to change my mind!

It all started with a lack of milk. We decided to spend our weekend doing things like drinking our faces off, dressing up like Lady Gaga (not in that order sadly, but putting on fake eyelashes drunk is risky no?) and wandering around the local aquarium in a next day booze haze. No time for practicalities like grocery shopping. So this morning when I went to have my bowl of cereal there was no milk. I went to my toast back up only to find that there was no bread.

I started eating breakfast before leaving my place so that I would stop giving my hard earned money to Starbucks in exchange for a calorie laden chocolate croissant and a London Fog. And I have been working out so I didn't want to ruin it all by caving in today. Its a slippery slope right? On the bus, I made an executive decison to stop and get a healthy breakfast sandwich across the street from the office.

I got off the bus at 8.20. I had 10 minutes, its literally across the street. But I hadn't counted on it taking them 5 hours to make a sandwich out of egg, green peppers, tomatoes and onions. And ham maybe? It was hard to tell once it was all put together on whole wheat toast.

I rush into the office, late, terrified that John will be around to count the minutes and make me stay late. Thankfully he wasn't. In fact, up until this point I haven't even heard his voice in the halls. Which should make me happy, but in fact makes me very nervous. I feel like he is up to something.

So after all that-- my sandwich was gross. Inedible.

My croissant was delicious though. And my tea is keeping me warm as the air conditioning blows on my neck, while gale force winds whip the trees around outside. Clearly a warm day.

I have managed to haggle my first born child for a day off on Friday though. This is something to look forward to. But we have to do all our own mail and that of the people that are furthering their education to give us part time hours. Those bastards. How dare they try to better themselves to get out of here. Doesn't work though, heaven knows I tried.

Veronica's high pitched wail and Amy's lack of active management have already pushed me to the brink so the lack-of-milk-forcing-me-to-go-to-Starbucks-for-a-liquid-hug-on-a-cold-cold-day must have been the Universe's way of trying to comfort me. I get it Universe-- I will try to stay strong.