Monday, September 28, 2009

Mondays Suck

I don't know if you are aware of this, but today is Monday (don't you love how creative my blog title is today?). Monday. I don't think that Mondays would be so traumatic if I liked my job, but I am so far away from liking my job that Mondays will just continue to be a torturous exercise in how long I can go on without losing my mind and "going postal".

Its ironic that I was born on a Monday (fair of face, clearly) and have grown up to detest them so much. But I honestly can't help it. When I was in school, I enjoyed them. I looked forward to them. But now. Anything but a Monday!

So I was thinking about Mondays (because it is Monday, I don't think about Mondays on other days, unless its a Sunday and then sometimes I catch myself thinking about the impending Monday) and trying to pinpoint why exactly they suck, and I came up with the following.

People say things like "You have a Case of the Mondays" on Mondays. Not only is this extremely irritating, it does't make a whole lot of sense AND it just adds to the crapshoot that is a Monday. If you are a person that currently says this and thinks its clever and hilarious, please stop saying it. You are being humoured but secretly your co-worker wants to stab you.

Mondays just seem to bring out the worst in people and those that take the bus in the morning have got to be among the absolute worst. I understand- its tough to get out of bed on a cold Monday morning and have to stand crammed on a bus full of other, equally disgruntled commuters. However, there are still standards of courtesy to be observed. Hitting me in the head with your bag is not OK. An apology would be great. Sitting on the outer seat so that no one is sitting in the window seat, and then shifting your knees so another person basically has to crawl over you while balancing a starbucks in her hand-- this is not OK. Suck it up, try to be nice and everyone will have a much better start to their Mondays.

Its Monday. The day furthest from the weekend, when you have time to yourself, when you can do whatever you want, or whatever actually needs to be done. To add insult to serious injury Mondays also signal the end of the weekend.

Jon and Kate Plus 8 is on on Mondays. And while it used to be a guilty pleasure that I totally enjoyed, now its just sad. I still watch (I can't turn away) but its just depressing and I think I might need therapy. I mean you read about them all over the tabloids now, they don't have anything nice to say about each other, they sit on separate couches to talk--its sad. This is harder than when my own parents divorced! I don't know why TLC still has it on the air- especially when we could be watching the 100 times better Table For 12. Now that's a family.

Now for the reasons that make this Monday worse.

I was having a printer war with Maurice. I refused to fill up the printer with paper because we were both using it and he is the worst (could I say "worst" anymore today? Vocab refresher needed) about refilling it. So I just kept on printing, letting it all queue up in the printer's memory. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and loaded in the paper. When I was sorting through the pages that came out I noticed that there was nothing that belonged to Maurice. I had been having a printer war with myself.

One on One meetings are resuming today. Well this is what we were told, I have yet to see anyone actually going in for one. I don't like them. I find that they are a waste of time. I mean whatever you say in there is only going to be used against you. Its their way of trying to exert some kind of authority over us. I think I will just go in and lie. Everything is wonderful guys, don't even worry. I just want to say what they want to hear so that I can leave.

Anna has to work harder today- they want her to really push her numbers. Which means that she can't really talk to me. Which sucks.

My nails are chipped. I have lovely dark blue nail polish on (OPI's Play til Midnight) and its friggin' chipped. I hate when my nail polish is chipped.

John is back. He didn't drown. I don't think I need to go into further detail on that one.

Basically its Monday and I'm going to hate the day no matter what happens. Even if the office was suddenly overrun with puppies and we were given leave to play with them for the rest of the day.

OK no, you're right. If there were puppies to play with I would be happy it was Monday. But thats it!

Stay strong guys, Monday can't last forever.


  1. OMG "I had been having a printer war with myself." That is fricken gold! I laughed so hard. By the way your blog has been doing the rounds in my office. We all love it.

  2. Yeah, definitely not one of my brighter moments. But in my defense, I share a cubicle with the dumbest guy on the planet. Some of it was bound to rub off sooner or later.
    I'm thrilled to hear that people are actually reading this!!! Thanks!