The Three Stooges

We are on Day 2 of working for the new company. The people are all very nice. But the systems are s**t. Nothing works the way that it should. I have spent an inordinate amount of time just sitting in front of my computer, pulling my hair out in frustration, swearing and putting my poor horse shaped stress toy through the wringer. I am trying to do my job while working off of 2 different systems, 2 separate screens- that can't talk to each other in any way. The email systems are not compatible, there is no copy and pasting-- it feels like I am doing everything twice.

But more than the technical difficulties, all these changes seem to be too much for the management team (I use both terms very loosely) to handle.

Remember in Office Space when Peter has to have a meeting with the Bobs and he tells them that he has 8 different bosses crawling all over his a**? I know exactly how he feels. I have three different people that think that they are in charge of me. Three. And, in the time honoured tradition of management, none of them seems to talk to the others. Its all very confusing at the best of times, but today when things are messed up and confusing and broken, its downright aggravating.

Let's take a closer look at the management styles of the Three Stooges shall we?

The lowest of the Stooges is Veronica. As a person, away from the office, she is not that offensive. She's definitely not the brightest bulb but she is cheerful and wants to have fun. But as a supervisor, she could not be a worse choice. She is a Lifer for sure, but I'm pretty sure that being down in the pit with the rest of us should have been as far as she was allowed to go. I'm not sure who thought it would be a good idea to promote her above everyone else...she spends her time "working" by getting everyone else to do it for her. She also shows blatant favouritism, has a nasty temper, is impatient and thinks out loud. Today's thought of the day "There are too many passwords in my head", although I also enjoy listening to her try and spell simple words out loud: "how do you spell receipt?".Yesterday she actually yelled at someone else when they couldn't understand how the new system worked. She yelled at them. Not OK. She's also a crappy dresser. The worst kind of crappy dresser though- she clearly likes to buy high quality pieces, nice pieces even. But she buys them too small and none of them flatter her body type. We're supposed to take her seriously though. When it all gets to be too much she shoves food in her face like there's a famine on the way. But like a spoiled child she will not eat any vegetables. Anna and I have decided that she is a glutton, pure and simple.

The person that is supposed to be in charge of things around here, Amy, is constantly being challenged by Veronica and second guessed by John. As a result, it is impossible to read her. She walks around stone faced all the time, never showing her cards. I don't know anything about her (except that she likes cake for breakfast and always watches cartoons before she comes to work...) and can never quite be sure who's side she is on. Some days she is all sunshine and light, cheerful even. But then, like a sudden storm, she can turn nasty quickly. She has been known to snap at you unprovoked and will always side with John over those that report to her. In the middle of all of this, she has remained characteristically stoic, giving nothing away, but not being super helpful either. I think that her way to deal with all of this is to keep her distance. Just get through the day, make some kind of progress. I feel that.

Which brings me to John. The Head Stooge. I don't even know where to begin. If you have read this blog before, you will know that my loathing of John runs deep. Once upon a time he used to actually read this blog like the filthy, lying, 2 faced piece of scum that he is. These days he sticks to hauling me into meetings to discuss...do you know? I don't even know what we are supposed to be discussing anymore. Over the past week he has been giddy with excitement about this change (having worked on it for well over 3 months). His excitement is just short of skipping down the halls singing a song, but is not contagious. Since I told him about my shoulder (against my better judgment, as soon as the words were coming out of my mouth I regretted saying them) he has been a thorn in my side. For some reason, the pain in my shoulder is an excuse to come have a morning pow wow with me and impart all of his wisdom on me. Should be a short meeting right? It probably is in real time, but in Cubicle time its an eternity. The man just will not stop. The last thing I wanted was more one on one time with John. Like if you were getting me a Christmas present, that wouldn't even be on my list. The opposite of that (less time with John, period) would be on my list.

So what did I do to deserve this? I must have been really bad in a past life. Last week he announced to the department that once the changeover was official, he would be stepping back and allowing Amy to take full control of everything. Yet he is a constant presence, meddling, interfering, adding in his 2 cents (which is all his opinion is worth if you ask me)-- and for what? Its not like he gets anything done, its not like his words are life changing or meaningful. He just needs to feel like he still matters, like he is still needed.

If it were up to me, I'd be trimming the fat. But its not up to me. All of it is up to the Three Stooges. And the Three Stooges each have their own ideas.

Help. Me.