Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Dan Brown

I believe that yesterday I mentioned that my colleague and I were going to sprint up to the bookstore and purchase the newest Dan Brown novel?

Well we did. I think Anna might have underestimated my need to get to the bookstore now to get this book. And so I power walked her the whole way there and bought 2 copies (no I'm not that crazy that I need one to read and one to look at, the 2nd is a gift) and was straining to break into a full on sprint to get back to the office and start reading.

Dan Brown is currently the only man in my life. He is all that I think about, my one obsession. There is no room for anything else.

Needless to say, I have been extremely inattentive since about 1.40 yesterday afternoon.

This is the problem with Dan Brown. His books suck you in completely and for the length of time it takes you to devour it, you are MIA. There isn't room for anything else. Your head is way too full of Robert Langdon, symbols, history, words that have triple meanings, crazy villains and full on car chases. Your heart is constantly in your throat and this morning on the bus I even found myself short of breath.

I was reading a book! And I couldnt breathe.


So what's the problem? The problem is that I can't put the damn thing down. I have left him on my desk, to taunt me all day while I try to concentrate long enough to send an email or finish a thought (I'm failing pretty miserably). I keep opening it, looking around and wondering if I can read a page without getting caught. I can't wait until I get 15 minutes to throw myself back into this book. I don't even have room in my brain to make note that Veronica left an hour early yesterday to get her hair done. This doesn't matter to me until I find out what happens to Robert Langdon and his friends.

I can't even put a sentence or thought together that doesn't involve this book. It is all consuming. Dan Brown is a bastard. How dare he write such a book? One that takes me away from everything that is right and rational. I mean Veronica goes and gets her hair done, and is getting paid while it happens but the rest of us need to take vacation time to go see the doctor? On a normal day, this would enrage me. I would be spewing poisonous bile all over this blog.

But today, I have Dan Brown. And Dan Brown will make it all better.

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