Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Gift for Grumpy

I am in no mood to be pleasant today. If you came here today looking for affirmation or warm and fuzzy thoughts you might want to come back tomorrow. Although, that's not really what I stand for so you must be lost if that's what you're looking for...

Anyway. I am grumpy. I'm pretty sure that The Boyfriend is still in bed, having decided to throw in the towel before the day ever got underway (he's in a kind of limbo having been promised a new job and having trained someone to fully take over his old job so I guess people don't notice if he's not around since everything still gets done). And that snow from yesterday? Well overnight it started to rain and then this morning it was a slushy icy mess and I don't know how, but I didn't even fall. But it was close. Several times. Thanks for the well wishes Anna (before I left yesterday she said she hoped I fell. I pointed out that this was unfair as it was pretty likely to actually happen and then how would she feel?).

So grouchy before I even got here. This does not bode well for those around me. Do you feel bad for them that they work with me? Or jealous that they get to work with me? I mean, I'm pretty awesome. Unless I don't like you. Then, watch out.

I had a point. What was it?

Oh yes. Potluck.

For those of you that don't know how I feel about Potlucks , let's just say I'm not a fan.

It's not that I don't like the free food, I do (although what is the deal with mango pudding?). Its the awkwardness of being forced into a room with everyone that works here. There are no commonalities, except that we all work here. And its so early. I eat my lunch at 1.30 (so that there are less people I have to deal with AND so that my afternoon is shorter) so forcing me to stomach food at noon seems kind of cruel. I'm just not ready you know?

Anyway, its the holidays and what better way to spread some office cheer than food? What's that? You think an office Christmas party is in order? Darlin' I haven't been to my own office party since 2006. In 2007 I was too busy living the life of a student in the greatest city in the world and an office wasn't a part of that life. Last year my office didn't have one, claiming poverty (actually I think they turned the quarterly meeting into a "party". I claimed poverty). And this year, our office holiday party is in...January.

Needless to say I will not be attending. Not that I didn't want to spend $10 to go to the casino and get no free food or drinks. Well no, I didn't. I won't. And now I don't need to spend more time with these fools either. But in January? In January all the warm, fuzzy holiday feelings that one feels now will be replaced with bitterness, 10lbs extra and a bank account thats showing a negative balance. And its not like I can drink to forget where I work. Drinking too much at your office party can have so many negative consequences. Who knows what I might say? And I can't bring The Boyfriend because he has often said that if he is ever in the same room as John, bad things will happen.

On the other hand, maybe I should arrange for that to happen...

Nah, that would be cruel. It's one thing for me to have to deal with John all the time, its another thing to subject others to him.

But back to Potluck. This time. There are gifts. Not Secret Santa like last year. White Elephant. You know the game where everyone brings a wrapped gift and then the first person grabs a gift and unwraps it and then the next person can either steal that gift or choose a new one and so on until all the gifts have been unwrapped and you walk away with what you have? Last year with the Secret Santa I walked away with some weird box that you could charge a bunch of different electronics with. Clearly it was a man. I actually think it was Turd. I no longer have the box.

This year, I'm hoping I end up with this . I already know its being brought in by someone awesome. And I'm going to do my best to end up with it. Its all I have going for me this week (aside from Its A Wonderful Life, obviously).

To sum up: I'm grumpy, its icy out, we have a potluck this week and I'm being managed by fools.

I love this time of year.


  1. dude, last year, as a first year teacher, i thought everyone went to the White Elephant staff meeting... um, i was totally wrong! it was me, the two heads of school, and two other teachers. yeah, out of a staff/admin of about 60. sad.
    even with that bitter taste still in my mouth, i'm going again this year & hoping for the best. my gift is fairly lame, but i'm hoping for something great. 'cuz hope lives on in this little world of mine!!

  2. I went to a Christmas party over the weekend where a White Elephant gift exchange was going on....

    What I brought: thong panty liners, feminine deodorant spray and a do rag

    What I rec'd: Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Part II and The Wedding Singer

    All in all, I'd have to say I came away with a win.

    p.s.: Just try to get through the holidays without seriously maiming anyone and you can put it in the win column. I was cussed out the other day by an old lady in a Christmas sweater in the mall parking lot and I managed to keep from ramming my car into her. Barely, but I did. WIN!

  3. Nobody else came?? That's terrible!
    I actually think that the White Elephant game is pretty awesome- except last year at a friend's house I ended up with a platter of assorted nuts.

    Happy holidays to you too molly!

  4. Laurie you're hysterical. It can be hard not to kill people at the holidays, all that family time too.

    One time I walked away with Arnold Schwarzenegger's Pumping Iron. I'd say that was the winningest win for White Elephant. I watched that til I wore it out!