Thursday, December 3, 2009

Haven't I Learned Yet?

Turns out I'm not 20 anymore. And while I'm not exactly in my 30s either, 24 is starting to feel old. Today I am hungover at work. Not for the first time, not for the last probably either.

(If you read that link, like I just did, I think you will laugh at the fact that apparently I learn nothing. And how similar the posts. I would delete this and start again, but like I said, I have a hangover. Do you even know how much energy it took to write this for the 2nd time?)

People working in cubicles shouldn't show up to work hungover. It makes the monotony and the politics so much more grating. You're apt to snap at people much more when you're craving a little hair of the dog. Let's not even talk about the lack of focus. I can't even put a sent...

I need water. Lots more water. And the kitchen is so far away. My mom's going to be so proud reading this. I can hear her voice in my head, from back in the day when I would walk out of the house in an outfit specially designed for free drinks. I believe she called me a "hussy" once or twice. Yes you did. And she definitely showed concern that I was "drinking too much". But I was just being young and carefree.

Those were the days when I could go out on a Wednesday for some kind of karaoke or cheap drinks night, drink my face off, get home on the bus (or shell out the big bucks for a cab) and still get up, bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready for work. And it wasn't painful at all. I'd even do it again on the Thursday.

But now? Drinking with your friend (who has a broken heart) after work for a few hours (I didn't even get home that late! In enough time to watch Steven Seagall: Lawman. Everything I hoped it would be, and more) is not a good idea. Because one drink turns into 3, which turns into one more for the road. And obviously they were all doubles. My friend's heart is broken! If rum doesn't help, what will?

I was told that I smelled like a brewery when The Boyfriend (read Saint) picked my butt up.

Man, was that mac and cheese gooooooooooooood.

But I didn't sleep well. All restless like. My body's way of making sure I was still breathing even though I was half coma tose (I is classy). Got up on time though. Even showered (can you imagine if I didn't? I would smell like an old brewery this morning. Maurice would be hella unimpressed). And here I am. Guzzling little office sized glasses of water like I'm in the G damned Sahara.

And I still have to work. I still have to act like I'm not in 7 different kinds of pain from that devil Alcohol (he always starts off so nice, all those promises), still have to fire off chipper emails (a challenge in the best of times), and make nice, polite, office appropriate banter. Booooooo.

The moral of the story is...I should have taken a sick day?

No no, I actually have a strict policy about hangovers. They are my own fault, so I have to go to work. I knew I had to work in the morning. But my friend was so sad, and the bartender so persuasive. And let me tell you, by the end of the night she was doing better already, scouring the bar for her next potential life mate.

Maybe this hangover could be a good thing. Maybe I could just broadcast it to the office and everyone will stay away from me. Maybe a hangover will be an excuse to act like a total cow to everyone, smile and say something about being sorry, but I have a hangover. Everyone will smile knowledgeably. I mean, some of the people in here can be cool. Some of them have had a drink before, I'm sure of it. Probably not Amy really. And Veronica claims she is allergic. But I think by allergic she means a lightweight. And that's something that one can work on. With the right combination of determination and encouragement.

But more than likely, I will keep my hangover to myself. Try to soldier on heroically, alone in my Cubicle. Maybe there will be some McDonald's in my future- everyone knows their breakfast is the cure-all for a hangover. Maybe some tea would be better? Better for me, but better as in more effective. Probably not.

Send me good thoughts today people. Lord knows I'm gonna need them to get through today without saying something super offensive to the wrong person. But hey *shrug* sorry, I have a hangover.


  1. Does Veronica have an evil twin sister living in the deep South?

  2. An evil twin? Probably not since I consider her to be pretty evil in her own right. But I wouldn't rule out an equally evil and diabolical twin. I know she has sisters...

  3. This one is obnoxious, loud, judgemental and a little on the hysterical side. You know that woman in Office Space that says something about having a case of the Mondays? This is her with an inflated sense of power. Truly horrifying.

  4. people who are almost 40 and teach little 6 year olds shouldn't show up hungover either.
    shit happens.
    my saint of a husband brought me a skull-sized egg and cheese to get me thru the day. i honestly do NOT know how it happened.