Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Universe Owes Me One

Well Merry Christmas to me!

John has left the building, not to return until the New Year! Sure, he's going to Mexico but there are plenty of diseases and calamities that could find him there. Right? The Universe owes me one.

But like Amy before him, he just could not help himself and had to come in this morning to make sure that everything was OK. I don't think it helped matters that Veronica decided to take her time getting to work today and as a result she was "late" by all standards- except, of course, her own.

I guess his early morning presence says more about Veronica's leadership capabilities than my own work ethic. Although admittedly, with my own holiday looming and my complete lack of faith in my management "team", I have been a little blase about my workload. Don't get me wrong, I'm obviously still working. And as far as they can tell there is nothing amiss with my production. But I know I'm capable of more, and I'm just not delivering.

I ask you, what would be the point? I have more important things to do.

Obviously Kardashian Katch-Up (see what I did there?)! News, gossip, emails, blogs.

And... starting on a list of things that make me want to quit. The list is called For When I Quit and its all the things I want to make sure I mention when that glorious day comes and I get to have an exit interview with an unbiased (thats probably not even possible) person.

Assuming of course I don't win the lottery because then quitting will probably take more of a general F**k-you format.

Things on the list so far?

Dress code- we all work on the same floor but apparently there is a different dress code for each department. So Accounting can wear jeans any day of the week, so can pretty well every other department- except ours. That's crap.We're head office, no one sees us. If you want to impress the VIPs give us a heads up and we will turn out in style. Otherwise, let me fade into my Cubicle in a mirage of denim. Please.

The confusion with the management team. Technically Veronica is my direct supervisor, Amy is her boss and John is Amy's boss. And actually I'm not even sure about that last part. Point is, if there is an occasion for a chat or whatever, John has no business giving it- he's not my boss. That's right, he's not the boss of me. They need to sort their sh*t out!

How I'm constantly treated like I have a learning disability. Seriously. I get it, I'm blonde and I have boobs- I must be a moron. However I feel like I have demonstrated time and again that I am in fact a genius and you need to flipping listen to me! I'm tired of bringing up valid points, getting ignored, only to be reamed out a month later for not doing what I said we should be doing after you told me not to do it.

But it's Christmas so I should be more generous.

I can't help but be cranky this morning though. They took Anna away from me. She is sitting in a room with all the other lackeys so that they can get through a "Processing Blitz". Cut off from me. This is Veronica's attempt at showing them that she can get things done. Anna says she feels like a monkey. I would add that you look like one too.


I heard this strange thing one time. That if you respect and value your employees they will work harder for you. Isn't that the craziest idea that you ever heard?? Messed up I tell you. That would never work. If you treat them like crap and keep them down they will work harder out of fear.

Except that we're not peasants, we have rights and stuff and if we're treated like crap we can throw words out like Human Resources, lawyers, harassment etc (or quit). Although honestly (and I'm going to tell you a secret) HR reps? They work for the company. They are not there to help you, they are actually there to F**k you over in any way possible. Bottom line people.

So where am I going with all this? You had high hopes for me today didn't you? Thought I would be elated to be going away tomorrow, only having to get through today and 4 hours tomorrow and this post would be filled with hilarity.

Well I'm not. They took Anna away, I have to re-train my Bitch because its been so long since they let me use him and John had the bad manners to show up here and RUIN MY DAY.

What's going around in Mexico these days? I hope he catches it.

We will give it one more try tomorrow.


  1. "Capitalism is the legitimate racket of the ruling class. "
    - Al Capone

    To this I will give you one of my favorite quotes...

    "Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere"
    - Van Wilder

    I thought you'd enjoy those :)