I Still Don't Have A Puppy

I have officially been funemployed for 2 months now. On the one hand it feels like longer and on the other, its hard to believe its been that long because I effectively took August off to recuperate from the sh*tshow that was my job.

But its been 2 months and since I have been neglecting you AND since I got nothing else, I decided that the timing was perfect for a retrospective. You know, look back and discuss the good and the bad about my time being funemployed. Maybe this would be more appropriate subject matter if my time as a non-contributing member of society was coming to an end, but we don't know when that will be and I need something to bore you with today, so here we are.

The Good

• My forehead crease has gone away and I don't walk around looking like a heinous b*tch. Now you'll see me and think something like I could totally approach her. I can only assume this is because I'm not surrounded by idiocy for 8 hours a day and I'm happy about that.
• My skin has also cleared up. Apparently I'm a stress breakout-er.
• I go to the gym several times a week. Sure its so that I can watch Days of our Lives without being judged by The Boyfriend, but isn't the point that I'm going?
• Shopping at Metrotown in the middle of a weekday isn't nearly as traumatic as going on a weekend.
• I get a lot of time to read. This meant that I read Twilight (I'm still ashamed) but I've read other stuff like The Picture of Dorian Gray to make up for that lapse in judgement. 
• I've been able to catch up with all the important people in my life because I have all the time in the world.

The Bad

• I have no money to spend when I go to Metrotown in the middle of the week. I have no money for anything fun really. And I get a panicky feeling whenever I have to pay for anything. I'm still sitting on an air mattress looking for work because we can't afford a desk.
• Being around people for short amounts of time now, exhausts me. My tolerance for being around people has gone way down since most days its just me and The Boyfriend.
• Sometimes I drink during the day. Like you wouldn't, given the chance.
• I'm still not gainfully employed (duh).

The Ugly

• I punctured a tire (we assume it was me) and now we're driving around on 3 balding tires and one banged up, yet grippy, spare tire.
• I have to answer Hows the job search coming? at least 5 times a day. I know people are just asking because they are curious, taking an interest in my jobless state and want to help, but that doesn't stop the irrational urge to punch something from surging through me. 
• I still don't have a puppy.

All in all, a most concise summary.

All Over The Map

When I'm not sitting in front of the computer searching for jobs, I have a really good, positive attitude about my ongoing job search. I'm filled with comforting platitudes like "If its meant to be it will be" and "it will all work out the way its supposed to" and my personal favourite "the perfect job will find me".

But when I'm staring at the computer, confronted with all the job postings that I'm either not quite qualified for or over-qualified for, I start to feel that cold hand squeeze my stomach in panic. 

Where is this perfect job? Why isn't it finding me? Why haven't I been able to flaunt my new, fabulous job in the faces of all the a$$holes that I used to work with? Why isn't everything working out? Did I not suffer enough in that place? Universe, why are you playing games with me?

Part of the problem is, I'm not looking to work at Home Depot at this point (although I have heard good things). Part of me (that part that looks at bank statements and sees no money coming in and freaks out) totally entertains the idea of begging for work at Chapters (do you think they would just pay me in books?) but the more rational part of me knows that that's just a cop out at this point. I suffered for over 2 years, completely undervalued, treated like an idiot, punished for being awesome. 

They keep saying that the economy has recovered, that we're back to where we want to be. But if this is true, where are all the jobs? I just went through page after page of job listings that consisted of retail sales positions. I know that Christmas is coming up (no one is getting any presents at this rate FYI) but can we not segregate these jobs from the career-starting jobs?

I even tried posting myself on LinkedIn. I kept seeing it on job sites and figured, why not? What can it hurt to have my info out there for people to see. 

I deleted my pathetic LinkedIn profile. We don't need half-a$$ed anythings associated with my name. 

Why? Well the problem with LinkedIn is that you have to choose one industry to "work" in. And that's kind of the problem I'm having. At this point, as long as the industry I end up in isn't finance or insurance, I'm pretty much good. I have no problems getting someone's coffee as long as there is room for advancement, a way to be promoted within the company or get some kind of on-the-job training. You know?

In my head it totally makes sense. The companies that I have sent resumes to should just call me and set up an interview. Because I totally rock at interviews and then they would see that I'm completely capable of completing any tasks they throw at me with flair. Seriously.

Until that day (its coming right?) I will continue to comfort myself with "it will all work out the way its supposed to". 

And I will even try to believe it.

Cleaning House

Do you know what's an awesome way to start your day? A skype session with your favourite Swede.

We have been trying to get a hold of each other on skype for weeks but with time differences, its tricky. This morning? Success. Sure it took 45 minutes out of my job search but for catching up with my very good Swede friend, I'm willing to make that sacrifice.

Problem is, now I'm thirsty. While she was chatting with me her friends came over and started making her dinner and poured her a glass of wine (where can I get me some of these kinds of friends?). The thing with skype is that you feel like you're actually in the same room with a person, so her having a glass of wine made me feel like I wanted a glass of wine, should have a glass of wine. But then I realized that its not even noon here and actually a glass of wine now would be kind of inappropriate. Plus I still have plans to go to the gym soon and have you ever had one beer, or one glass of wine and then decided to go to the gym? You probably weren't drunk off one drink but you would be after a few minutes on the treadmill.

I guess its a cost-efficient way to drink? Also cuts down on calories in a way?

So now its late-morning and all I have to offer you are efficient ways of drinking. Swedes are inspiring aren't they?

Actually I don't feel bad for being so unproductive this morning. Yesterday, I was hella productive. The apartment is spotless, I did laundry, I even made dinner. If you have been reading this blog for any length of time (my apologies) you will know that I don't cook. Its not that I don't know how (I can feed myself if need be, but its all pretty basic fare) there just doesn't seem to be any point when I live with an aspiring Gordon Ramsay. No, The Boyfriend isn't training to be a chef, but he loves to cook. And what kind of girlfriend would I be if I deprived him of this joy?

But yesterday I did. I cooked and when he asked me what he could do to help I told him to go play video games and have a beer. We actually have a rule that he's not allowed in the kitchen if I'm going to cook dinner because with a knife in my hand I'm too apt to stab him should he offer 'helpful' hints on how to do things 'properly'.

Anyway, obviously I still don't have a job. But I'm not going to get all melancholy about it today. I had an excellent conversation with one of my very favourite people, a reminder that girlfriends can actually be awesome, not a whole lot of work and emotionally draining, and my apartment is spotless (aside from the one room that we don't know what to do with until I get a job and start getting paid again). I tell you, since I have lost my job my apartment has been so much cleaner. We were trying to decide yesterday if its because we have so much extra time and energy to devote to cleaning it, or because we now own it ourselves and there is a certain amount of pride that we take in keeping it clean and cozy.

Maybe its my inner Dutch OCD coming out finally. Cousin, I think you must know what I mean.

Even in my funemployed state, a Friday can still improve my outlook. Happy Weekend!

Attack of the Random

You know what I haven't done in a while? Besides write a good post (obviously). I haven't had an attack of random on here in a while. Since I have nothing else going on let's try that today.

Yesterday I saw a picture of Kim Kardashian at Oktoberfest and I was jealous. Not because she looked hot, but because I was supposed to be there right now too! But that whole trip didn't work out the way we had hoped. Now Kim is whooping it up in all the beer tents I was supposed to be in. I take comfort in the fact that she got a super fancy dirndl (traditional Bavarian dress) and mine is actually way more awesome.

I slept in late this morning. I would probably still be sleeping except the phone rang. The Boyfriend noticed too late (but still before me) and just missed it when he ran for it. No message. Now I'm really wondering who that could have been. And why didn't they just leave a message?? I hate when people call and don't leave a message. I really can't stand it. I always leave a message. Admittedly my messages are long and rambly and usually have no point, but at least I am leaving a record of the fact that it was me that called and I would love a call back. You know? I don't leave people wondering who it was that might have called before. Because that? Is annoying.

I bought a new dress yesterday. Its purple.

I don't like Tom Brady at all (has something to do with leaving his pregnant girlfriend I guess) but I can't not comment on this hair of his. What the hell is going on there? I guess the bottom line here is that if Justin Beiber is taking time out of his busy and full twitter schedule to dedicate a post to your hair, you probably need to do something about it. I expected better of Gisele. Or maybe she is mad at him and this is her crafty punishment for him?

No I am not reading celebrity news when I should be job searching. Wherever would you get that idea? I'm just quickly checking in you know? Gotta stay up to date. You don't know when that all will come in handy. Its food for the brain. Or something.

Have any of you been watching pre-season hockey? I'm trying to tell myself that its just pre-season and it doesn't matter but its hard to stomach when the Leafs win a game and the Canucks are still looking for that first win. I'm sure that Ron Wilson and Leafs fans are telling themselves that that win shows that they are a Cup contender but they're not. Honestly we haven't lost a pre-season game since 2007 and we didn't bring home the big prize any of those years. If we have to lose some pre-season games to bring home the Cup then that's a-ok by me. Its just kind of hard to watch at the moment.

Alright kids, thanks for stopping by. I have to go look for a job now so that I can be employed again. And you lot will have something more interesting to read about than Tom Brady's hair. Although, admit it, you're glad I brought it to your attention.

Background Noise

I've realized something about being home all day every day (mostly). Its friggin' loud around here in the daytime.

Not to be judgmental or anything but doesn't anyone work around here? Used to be I was out of here at 7.23, walking to the bus and it was so quiet. I assumed that everyone had either already left for work or were still in their units, drowsily getting ready to go, praying their coffee kicks in before they hit the road.

But no. I think I was the only person around here that actually had a job. And now that I don't have a job...well I guess we all just hang out here and hope for the best.

It wouldn't  be so bad if people just kind of kept to themselves and were nice and quiet. Not to toot my own horn but I am an excellent neighbour- quiet, considerate, polite, all around awesome. But not everyone around here is so awesome. Let me break it down for you.

The people above us are constantly moving furniture or bowling in their units. The mornings are usually pretty quiet but they really start moving around in the evenings. Sometimes it sounds like they are vacuuming? But it takes them like an hour. The woman below us likes to sit on her balcony and talk on the phone. Sounds like a nice ritual right? I'm sure it is for her. But when she sits out there and we sit in our living room with the window open (I'm a fan of air circulation) its like she is in the room with us.

Admittedly I live right beside a university campus. Which, in September especially, means that there will be students walking to and from class. Which is fine. I'm down with higher learning. Two years ago I was one of them. Except for the part where they yell and scream at each other while they are going to class. Or as is more often the case, as they are cutting through our courtyard to get to the bus, pissed out of their trees. This inevitably means swearing, sometimes girls screaming (hard to tell if they are being raped or not,  usually assume not since they are also laughing), and cell phone volumes that mean I can hear both sides of the conversation. Sure regular people have come to their balconies and told them to shut up but this really only serves to irritate the students and they carry on more loudly. I'm not against them having fun, I'm not that old yet. I just wish that they would be a little considerate on a Tuesday night you know?

Construction is another issue. They are building a bunch of condos in the area, the first ones right behind our place. And these guys? They start work early. I'm not sure what the bylaws state about construction noise and what time it can start at but apparently 7am  is perfectly legit to fire up that crane and get to work. I'm sure the finished product will be gorgeous (I've seen the show home) but personally I don't think its going to be worth the hours of sleep that I am losing. And yes I do realize that I am complaining about losing sleep at 7am, a time when most of you are probably already up and getting ready for work. Obviously this happens all day long, a soundtrack to my unemployed day.

So aside from the construction, which will end at some point, we also have garbage pick up at 7.30am. Sure garbage pick up is once a week. But then there is another designated day for cardboard, and another for the recycling. Which means, almost every week day morning we hear the BEEP BEEP BEEP of some big a$$ truck making its way into the courtyard (where the sound is magnified), taking what feels like an hour to take our garbage away.

Maybe I'm just jealous that all these people have a daily purpose.

New low: I envy the garbage man.

Lazy Monday

I took my Friday state of mind all the way into Monday didn't I? My apologies that you had to suffer through a Monday without me, but looking at the state of my recent posts, that really was no great hardship was it?

Plus I felt like death yesterday and the idea of getting off the couch for more than something to drink...well it just wasn't going to happen.

Sometimes it is just nice to just hibernate on the couch (or in bed) and pretend that the rest of the world doesn't exist. I tried to pretend that that was what I was doing yesterday, that I wasn't gross and sick. The world out there can for sure get along without me for one day (fabulous though I am) and that one day without the world can work wonders.

Not that I didn't miss you all.

It wasn't a completely wasted day in terms of the job hunt. On Friday I had called about this job search program (as per my aunt's instructions) and left a message. I just wanted more information about what the program was and how to get registered. Well they called me back yesterday--obviously I'm not going to ignore strange numbers popping up on my phone these days now matter how crappy I felt. I put a smile in my voice and answered only to be momentarily disappointed that it wasn't someone wanting an interview.

But the program sounds awesome and I want to do it (not like I have a whole lot else going on right?). You know there is a 'but' coming right? Yeah there is. Apparently I need a referral to the program. So now I need to figure out how to do that...

In other news, being sick yesterday The Boyfriend let me choose a movie to watch (normally I don't get the choice and am forced to watch his choice but since he has great taste in movies I pretty much always have to grudgingly accept that yes I did like that) so I finally got to watch The Lovely Bones. Immediately following it I got the same feeling as I did when I finished reading the book: disappointment. Stanley Tucci was awesome, he creeped the hell out of me, but as a whole it just didn't do it for me. The worst part is that The Boyfriend watched it with me and now I'm going to have to suffer through one of his less considerate choices to make up for this one.

I too am wondering why I bothered watching the movie if the book didn't totally wow me.

I finally finished reading A Fine Balance last week (no thanks to Twilight) and started reading Orange is the New Black: My Year in a Women's Prison by Piper Kerman. This was one of the books on Jen Lancaster's summer reading list and I finally read it. Its fantastic. Jen Lancaster would never steer me wrong, I know this, but there is always a hesitation when someone (even someone you worship from afar) recommends a book. But yeah it was terrific and if you come across it, you should read it.

And thats all I have to say today. I have to go pretend to be productive and find jobs to apply for.

Merry Tuesday.

Friday State of Mind

Its Friday. I think.

Fridays used to mean something to me. They meant the end of another week of working under the unbelievable tyranny of Amy and Veronica, the end of another week's worth of John and the beginning of 2 and a half days of unmolested freedom. I counted down to Fridays along with my office warrior brethren. I donned a pair of jeans to honour the code of the casual Friday and hoped for it to be over quickly.

Today?

Its just another day on the job hunt.

Last night I went to The Record's place for some girl time along with our friend Megara, who you might recall is also currently funemployed. The Record has to be at work today. Megara and I...have nothing on the agenda (aside from the all important job hunting). At the end of the evening while The Record rejoiced at the prospect of a Friday after a stupidly long week (the first back from vacation, you know how that goes), Megara and I were stunned to learn that it was actually going to be Friday today.

This is what happens when your days all run together. When you can't distinguish a Tuesday from a Friday you know that you have lost all rhythm in your life. You are just as likely to be found running around the mall for something to do on a Wednesday, the kind of thing that used to be reserved for a Sunday and then usually, there was a purpose to your mall ratting.

These days, my days blur together in daytime TV, the same job postings, emails, phone calls and the gym. The only way I might be able to tell that its a Friday is if Days Of Our Lives is extra exciting.

In my anxiety over finding a new job I think that, this week especially, I may have forgotten what it used to be like. How I used to stress over having to go to work, how crappy I felt, how there were frown lines on my face (that have since disappeared, yay!), and how badly I wanted this time for myself. I forgot to be thankful that I have the time to be able to find something that's perfect. Or as close to perfect as anything in this life is ever going to be.

I'm taking my Friday state of mind seriously. I'm going to enjoy it. For all of you office warriors slaving away at your desks, hang in there. Its almost time for weekend. Enjoy every hard-earned minute.

Funemployment

Obviously I've been spending a lot of time contemplating unemployment. I've even reached out to all of my 500+ Facebook friends, sending out blanket status updates in an attempt to get some kind of dialogue going.

No. That's a lie. Why do we update things on Facebook? We want people to pay attention to us.

Anyway, something awesome did come out of it. My friend Angela shared this link with me. And its awesome. Did you look at it yet? It totally showed me that I'm not alone in this, taught me a new word (funemployment) and made me realize that I have no talent (I can't take pictures like that!). But still I enjoyed it.

So let's talk about this word, funemployment. I like it. There's no reason why my time being unemployed can't also be fun time right? I mean, haven't I earned it? Having had to spend the past 2+ years working in an extremely unhealthy work environment? Where I was underpaid and unappreciated? Totally. 

I could use the time to do fun and almost free things yes? A bottle of wine plus good company makes anything fun. Hell we could be drinking on the sidewalk and it would be fun (incidentally I have done that before. There are pictures and everything. It was actually a really fun night). 

So that's sort of my plan right now. To be funemployed. 

I had an excellent talk with The Boyfriend yesterday. There was a comment left on here the other day that really left me unsettled (Tux! Six months! Really!?) and I needed to discuss this with The Boyfriend, get a read on what he's thinking about this whole thing, you know, since he's going to be floating us financially for a while. Does he want me to just go out there and get a job? Or can I wait to find a starting point for a career? Even knowing that that could possibly take a very long time.

Guys, I'm friggin' lucky. He doesn't want me to settle. He wants me to find something that will make me happy. Even if it takes 6 months.

Which definitely made me feel better. Don't worry he mocked me later for all sorts of things, including that my slippers look like the Cookie Monster feet. As long as this means I get more cookies...

Craptacular

I know you won't believe me if you've read my blog this week, but I have actually been making the effort to write posts in my head before I end up sitting in front of the computer staring at a blank screen.

But I think I may need to take it a step further and use a pen and paper to write down a general idea of where I'm going with these posts. Or stop doing it when I'm falling asleep. Thinking about blogging right before you fall asleep is an excellent way to wake up without a clue about what you were planning on writing about.

Let's be honest here, my blog is in shambles. It was so easy when I was surrounded by a$$holes and morons, when they provided me with something to rant about. There was so little effort. Stupid things just happened and you were here to witness it.

But now that I don't have that job, or any job, I don't get out into the world very much. I'm terrified of spending any money (which is why it was a bad idea to go to the mall yesterday. Yes, I had to get a birthday present for my goddaughter but I probably didn't need that vintage-y Canucks sweater, even if it is the most awesome sweater ever made) so I tend to stay in my apartment reading or watching TV, job searching (that probably should have been first...), blogging, harassing my friends who have jobs and are therefore too busy to talk to me.

Plus I have nothing going on, no stories to entertain them with.

My telephone conversations are much like this blog: sh*t.

Do professional job search helpers exist? Are there people out there that are so good at searching for jobs that they teach other people their ninja skills? Because I could use one of those. I mean, I already have a recruiter looking for work for me but so far she has totally struck out. Not that I have anything against mining companies, I just don't see myself working for one long term. You know? I'm sure she thinks I'm being picky but if she just read my blog (before it got boring) then she would totally understand why I'm so hesitant to make that mistake again.

Thank you for sticking by me even though I'm boring. I promise to be interesting again one day.

Patience Is A Virtue...That I Do Not Possess

I used to think that I was a patient person. Turns out I'm not.

As you will all recall when I got laid off, I decided to take the rest of the summer off and really start job searching in September. I was completely confident that I would be able to find something quickly.

So I have been doing this every day for a week. Not all day, but every day.

I keep running across the same job listings, either jobs that I have already applied for, or jobs that I've dismissed as not for me. What kills me is that I just need one interview. I just need one person to call and say "Come in for an interview" and I know that I will nail it and I will be employed.

Its probably jinxing it to say that eh?

What I'm trying to say (so articulately) is that its been a week and no one has called me. I'm sure that these things do take time, but don't these people realize that I'm beyond awesome and will make their professional lives so much easier?

Yes, I am flipping out a little bit. I have moments. Lucky for The Boyfriend they pretty much stay in my head, unless I get the opportunity to share it with you lot.

I think I would feel a lot better if I was feeling better about my cover letters. I'm really good at cover letters normally, write them for other people even. But for my own, now...I don't know what's happened. To me they seem like they are basically saying "I can type, hire me."

Fine, thats not what they really say, but you get the idea.

Way back when  I used to have a job, I would think about home all day long. I would wish that I could stay home, read, watch TV, have a cup of tea (especially on the cold and rainy days). Now? I'm home all the time and I think I'm going a little stir crazy maybe? Yesterday it got so bad that (once I finished Breaking Dawn) I cleaned.

Its worse than that. In an effort to get out of the house, first I went to the gym. And then I came home and cleaned. I'm losing my mind.

Of course tomorrow I'm sure that I will be fine again. Like I said, its different every day. If only I could convince myself to work on this whole patience thing, that the hiring of the right person (me) takes time. And because I'm being so picky about what I apply for in the first place...well I'm going to need to learn to be patient.

This Post Sucks

This is going to be the very worst blog post that I ever wrote and that you ever read. I have nothing to write about, but what can I say? I'm a creature of habit. It would feel like a weekend if I didn't post today.

See, I didn't do anything this weekend. Not a damn thing.

I didn't go out and see any friends. I would like to say that this is a money thing, you know, being a hermit to save money, but its not. I mean for birthdays I always make the effort. But no. It wasn't an option to sort out.

I didn't get any chores done. Well thats not entirely true, there was a load of laundry that I did. But its not like I cleaned out a closet (not really necessary since we just moved and its not like we've accumulated a lot of new stuff since then) or scrubbed the kitchen.

I didn't go (window) shopping. Doesn't seem to be much point. Its my very favourite season and I can't buy anything. I won't torture myself. Can you imagine if I went near Sephora? It would be a disaster. Just one little eyeliner turns into $200 worth of awesome.

I did puncture one of our tires. Apparently I drove on a nail, which punctured the tire. Hey, at least I didn't also get a speeding ticket and another ticket for driving without a license (I was on my way to the gym and I don't bring my wallet because it will get stolen. As I was coming down my mountain there was a police officer checking speed. I was totally speeding [hello? Going down a mountain?] but so was the car in front of me. Rabbit!). Even though we totally don't have the money to replace all the tires (they need to be replaced) I think The Boyfriend was secretly hoping that I would tell him to just go ahead and replace them all. I didn't do that either. I told him to invest in a tire jack.

I spent the rest of the weekend reading those stupid Twilight books. That's seriously what I did. I had no time/patience/interest for anything else. You're lucky I'm blogging right now--I only have about 70 pages of Breaking Dawn left. It was only 11 last night, I figured I had a good hour of reading time left when The Boyfriend is all "let's go to bed". I tried to fight it but since I had pretty well been ignoring him all weekend, I felt that the least I could do was go to bed at the same time.

He paid for it though. I wasn't tired so I chattered in bed for a long time.

The good news is that Stephanie Meyers' hold on me is almost over. Just 70 more pages and I can go back to reading a proper book, A Fine Balance.

Are you reading anything good?

Finally- most excellent news for those of us that are unemployed, spending our days doing non-productive things like reading Twilight. My friend Megara has no joined our ranks! Which  means that all that mid-day drinking that has been happening will no longer be as pathetic because there will be 2 of us.

Hey, don't say I didn't warn you OK? Right at the beginning I said this was going to suck. And I always keep my promises.

Now if you will excuse me, I have some Breaking Dawn to finish.

Date On A Budget

The other day I complained to The Boyfriend that we hadn't been on a date in a long time. So last night he took me out.

Obviously this was a budget date since I have no money. I know you're curious--this is the story of my budget date.

It followed the classic date format: dinner and a movie. But it seemed to take more inspiration from teenagers who's parents fund their dates than a couple of 20-somethings who are gainfully employed.

First we got the tickets- one of them was free because The Boyfriend is the proud owner of one of those Scene cards that gets you free movies. Only he checked the points balance before we left the house and he was 50 points shy of a free ticket. But you get 100 points for buying a movie ticket. So first we bought the ticket and then we went through the process again for the free ticket. Sure it was time consuming, but we also saved $13.

Tickets in hand, it was time to eat. There's a nice restaurant across the street from the movie theatre. There's also a Wendy's. Guess which one we chose? We got in line with 2 teenagers (one of whom was applying for work there but didn't fill out the application form) discussing the merits of tattoos, an older professional couple who ordered salad, and a young family who's son was screaming about which toy he wanted with his meal. Later the little boy was incensed after the Wendy's staff offered him a book to read since he can't even read yet.

I will say this about dinner at Wendy's--there is some goooooood people watching.

We sat by the window (the better to see the people on their way to dinner at a proper restaurant) and from this vantage point I could see everything that was going on. The one teenager was complaining to the other that she had paid for bubble tea and dinner and the least the other one could do was pick up the ketchup and straws. Then she explained the concept of a family tree. The young family's son was still screeching stories about god knows what but his dad had had enough and told him to keep his voice down or he was going to be sitting in the car.

The best? The older salad eating couple. Apparently the salad was too spicy so the woman went back to the counter to the guy making minimum wage to offer him some "feedback" (her words). Lady, he works at Wendy's for $8 an hour, he truly doesn't care what the food tastes like (this was not one of the better Wendy's). Muttering about how you want a straight answer from this guy is a waste of your energy. Feel free to go back to your husband and complain about it together, but the fact of the matter is, you chose to have dinner at Wendy's. Get over it.

Eventually it was movie time. We saw The Other Guys which actually wasn't bad. It was pretty funny.

When we got out of the theatre I saw that my parents had called so I called back. According to my dad, my 10-year-old sister had called for help with her homework. She has to answer all these current events questions of things that had happened over the summer. My parents had managed to help her with most of them but there was this picture of a woman that they couldn't identify. Not having the benefit of actually seeing the picture I could only guess the identity of a woman making headlines this summer. I told my dad to google pictures of the Arizona governor.

We got home by 9.30. Baby Mama had just started. Fantastic.

So that, ladies and gentleman (I'm fairly certain there is just the one, Marshall), is a budget date.

Twilight Epiphany

As I may have mentioned I am currently under a self imposed bookstore ban. I  have no money coming in, therefore I have no business being in a bookstore. What's that? You don't need to buy something every time you're in a bookstore? In theory I'm sure that this is true. But in practice, for me, not so much. I can't help it.  I always walk out of a bookstore with shiny new books.

Its a problem.

Well I don't really think its a problem, but when money is tight, yeah its an issue.

That's why I imposed the bookstore ban. I'm not allowed in them. If I go in them I need to surrender my wallet.

This only becomes problematic when I need new stuff to read. Yes I'm aware of libraries. But many moons ago when I was just a little grasshopper I would always forget to return my books on time and would incur heavy (to me) fines. I'm afraid that I will do the same thing now. Plus, I'm not a fan of waiting lists. If I want to read something, I want to be able to get my hands on it right now.

First I trolled my own bookshelves for titles that I might not have read already, or hadn't finished. Then I convinced The Boyfriend that I needed this one book for my book club and ended up picking up a few more titles (they were classics OK, you can't just walk away from a 3 for $10 classics deal. That's criminal).

Then I went to my parents' house.  And started talking to my 14-year-old sister about books. She's just as hardcore a reader as I am and has taken to searching my shelves for books whenever she comes over. This from a girl that a year ago told me that adult fiction was stupid. I thought if she can borrow my books maybe she has books that I can borrow.

Well before she decided that adult fiction was OK my sister had a thing about youth adult vampire fiction. And you know how that started.

What I'm trying to say is...I borrowed Twilight.

And then I couldn't put it down and had to text my sister to ask her to get me the other books asap.

She laughed at me (via text, I think it was laughter...I can't understand her texts most of the time).

The thing is, they aren't good books. The writing definitely leaves something to be desired, Edward doesn't do anything for me and if Bella was my sister I'd slap her. To be that obsessed with a guy is not healthy. Why is this girl not an a$$-kicking heroine? She's dating a vampire, she can't be kick-a$$? But aside from the whiny heroine, I like them. The vampires intrigue me. I want to read more. And I'm ashamed of myself for caving in like this.

So to those of you that got on the Twilight bandwagon before me: I'm sorry that I judged you. I didn't know they were like crack. I take back the eye-rolling and the mocking tone of voice.

I hope that this doesn't also mean that I'm going to be watching the movies...

Witty Title

I went to the gym yesterday. I mention this because its not something that I enjoy doing or do very often (admittedly I should do it more often but there you are).

It was an avoidance tactic.

It worked out fairly well. I found a way to watch Days of Our Lives that The Boyfriend can't interfere with and also, Golden Girls was on. Win win.

OK but before you all get on my case about how I'm not seriously searching for a job, I did that too. I applied for the money I can get while I'm looking, updated my resume, looked at jobs and applied for some too.

More of the same today I guess.

But do you want to know what I learned?

I am seriously underqualified for anything that sounds remotely interesting. When I finished applying for the "free" money, the government system told me that there were 17 jobs that fit my previous experience. I read through some of them and I swear I fell asleep. I guess the government doesn't understand that I don't want to do anything remotely similar to what I was doing before.

So I branched out and started using my own keywords. I'm finding that there are a lot of job postings that I don't even know what they involve. I can't actually tell what the job is. That's a problem. I'm definitely shying away from those. The pre-Cubicle me probably would have applied anyway, with the mindset of "how bad could it possibly be?" Well the job description for my Cubicle job was hella vague. And how bad was it? Very, very bad.

A strange thing happened while I was sitting here though. In fits of I-hate-this-job-and-am-going-to-find-something-else-right-now that I had while I was working the Cubicle, I would immediately be overwhelmed with my lack of job searching abilities. But yesterday as I was sitting here, trying not to fall off the precarious "chair" I had created for myself, I was suddenly overwhelmed with ideas for job searching. I started jumping all over the place. Which means that I need a plan of action. A system for job searching and applying.

Oh and my cover letter writing skills? They need some TLC for sure.

Which reminds me, I have some quality PVR watching to do.

Just kidding!

Procrastination Schmocrastination

Today is the day. No more putting it off. I'm going to be good. Today is the day I start looking for a real live job. Pardon me, a career.

When I got "laid off" I told myself that I would take the rest of the summer off. There didn't seem to be much point in looking for work in the middle of the summer-tons of people are on vacation and its not til September that people really start hiring again. Plus, let's face it, I needed to recharge after everything that I had been through. I couldn't face the thought of another office job at that time and that was no way to start a new job.

I enjoyed the summer. I drank in the middle of the day, went to the Shuswap, wandered around my own city, caught up with friends, even got a little sun (but only a little). My face isn't breaking out nearly as badly as it did when I worked in the Cubicle, I don't have meltdowns, I can sleep through the night (wine helps) and my swearing problem is clearing up nicely.

I find myself wanting to go back to work. Wanting the normal rhythms of working a full work week. I'm finally back in that place where I am hopeful that I will find something that I like, where I enjoy going to work most days.

But I'm a procrastinator. And I don't like job searching. Therefore the likelihood that I'm actually going to make this my full time job, the searching...well the odds are slim. The last time I had to find my own job I ended up as a receptionist at a gym. Its been a while. This morning alone I have checked people.com, trolled around on Facebook, learned that Reggie Bush will mostly likely be stripped of the Heisman, and blogged. And that's only been the last 20 minutes. I'm logged into skype and I have every intention of reading all your blogs and commenting.

My work station isn't exactly conducive to job searching either. Back when I had a job (it feels like an eternity ago) the plan was to buy a desk for our spare room to put the computer on. But then I lost my job and the income that went along with that and the desk purchasing was put on hold. Currently? I am perched on the edge of our air mattress, reaching towards one of those Ikea coffee tables where the computer is sitting, strangled by a bunch of cables, that lord help me if one of them pops out. Far from ideal. Kind of a Catch-22 situation too- can't get a desk to help me in my job search until I get a job. Can't comfortably search for a job without a desk.

But it sure is good for throwing myself back in frustration every once in a while. Very cushy.

Also the computer I'm using doesn't have Word. My computer does. But my computer is full and slow and I'm dreading having to use it. But I will have to. Because I have to create my resume from scratch. I had a current copy on my desk at work but since I was blind sided, I didn't have time to email myself a copy.

The good news is that I had a dream last night that I got  a job. I was really excited about it in my dream-it was something communications-y and the people that I was working with were awesome. But I showed up for the interview in jeans and a t-shirt and only got the job because 2 other guys had quit so that they could make pizza in a van.

But let's focus on the fact that in my dreams, at least, I'm employed.

Hot Dog

Last night I spent the night on an air mattress. In my own house. See, I'm a most excellent hostess and since our guest accomodations are currently subpar, obviously we couldn't ask our guests to sleep there. So we took the bullets.

Result? Pain all over. Would probably have been fine had I been one person but The Boyfriend refused to sleep on the couch leaving me to luxuriate in air mattress comfort alone. Jerk.

Anyway now I'm at ikea. Because what do you do when you have houseguests? Take them to look at reasonably priced house wares. I was just in line for a hot dog (sustenance is required) and it struck me how many people were shopping at ikea in the middle of the day on a wednesday! Obviously there are the moms that are home with the kids (but why are you bringing kids to ikea? They hate it, you hate bringing them and I hate listening to them screaming because they are bored), the retired folks (lucky bastards) and of course the students (furnishing first apartments and dorms). But there were a lot of professional looking folks in there too, people that definitely belonged in some kind of office until 5. What gives? How are these people, clearly employed, able to meander about ikea on a Wednesday?

This is not a quick lunch break kind of thing. You don't just pop into ikea to pick up a quick something. It's not possible. We meant to. We've been in here for an hour (hence the hot dog).

I just have a hard time wrapping my head around jobs that don't have you chained to your desk for 8 hours a day. I hear that some places have christmas parties that don't involve the word potluck. Still kind of mind blowing.

But I'm clearly not alone. Along with those colleagues that suffered with me daily (holla Anna, Gloria, MK, Dustin) there are others out there. In line just now I was eavesdropping (like you don't) and heard this girl talking about how it was so hard to get used to being treated like an a$$hole (her word, not mine. For once) at work when she has always been used to a modicum of respect. It took a lot of effort for me not to turn around and tell her it's not worth it.

But I can tell you! If you are currently working at a job where you get treated like crap, it's not worth it, it won't get better and you do deserve more. If I had it to do over again I wouldn't have stayed so long. I have no job now, no money and I'm happy. Completely happy. I haven't been able to say that in a long time.


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