Elvish Work

I just saw a job posting asking for Christmas elves.

I actually know someone that works for the company looking for these elves. Its a pretty bad day if I'm considering applying for a job that forces me to dress like an elf and interact with people's snot-covered children.

Here's the rub: even the lowest elf makes more money an hour than I used to in my Cubicle hell. Is it to make up for the embarrassment? Because they value the contribution the elves make?

I could totally be an elf. In fact I was an elf in my kindergarten Christmas play. Totally rocked it too. See? I already have previous experience.

The fact that they are hiring elves is not a good sign. It means that Christmas is coming--at least according to the people that make mall Christmas happen. And if mall Christmas is just around the corner (elf start dates of November 12th) then real Christmas is really coming.

I have no money for real Christmas. This makes me sad. Perhaps some token gifts for the children (brother and sisters, godchildren etc) but no one else. I'm practically destitute over here. At least there is a lot of alcohol at Christmas. That's always a good thing.

I was watching TV yesterday and I realized something. You know when you're sick and you're forced to watch daytime television? And they have all those ads for jobs training? University of Phoenix, dental or medical assistant programs, office management courses, IT training? You dismiss them right? Because you are already gainfully employed and you don't need them.

Well I'm not gainfully anything.

I found myself wishing there was one that I could take to get a job. Six months of training? Financial aid? Yes please! Those people (not actors) are so happy in their new careers! How could I not want to do that?

Oh that's right. I have a degree. A degree! I've worked in offices. And still. Still! No one will interview me. Maybe if I had jobs training through Sprott Shaw Community College (since 1903) (its a local thing I think) then maybe I would be taken seriously?

Why did I go to university again?

Its a long weekend yes? Canadian turkey day. Which means I can rationalize not thinking about any of this again until Tuesday.