Revenge of the Baked Goods

Instead of job searching, yesterday was much more about f*cking around. Don't get all up in arms, Record, I applied for a job this morning. Every once in a while I just need a break from the depressing reality that I don't have a job and what better way to do that than youtube?

It started innocently enough. I just wanted to get that clip of Gordon Pinsent reading Bieber's autobiography for you (really? a 16 year old needs to write an autobiography? really?) and one of the related clips was this:



Don't pretend like you don't like it. Its adorable. She's adorable. The song will get stuck in your head and it will be annoying but she's adorable. I especially like the tiny little baby dancing.

Now I'm not kidding when I say that this came up as a related video to Gordon Pinsent. I didn't go looking for this on my own. But I'm glad it was a part of my yesterday.

OK. Now onto the fact that I almost died yesterday while The Boyfriend alphabetized his DVDs.

So after messing around on the Internets getting nothing done in the way of job searching, apparently it was time to go to the mall because The Boyfriend needed some kind of cable for the TV. I'm not sure why I agreed to go. There was nothing in it for me. Remember when you were a kid and you were too young to stay at home by yourself but your parents had to go out to run impossibly boring errands and you ended up fighting with your brother in the store and getting grounded when you got home?

Yeah, thats what it was like yesterday. There was no point in my going yet I found myself traipsing around the Sony store and Best Buy like it was my idea to go.

Anyway, when we got home I rewarded myself with a slice of cake (yup, I made more baked goods for no reason. This is starting to become a problem). I must have inhaled wrong or chuckled at something because next thing I know cake crumbs are making their way to my lungs and I'm full on choking to death. I can't breathe, I'm coughing, tears are streaming down my face and The Boyfriend? Is busy doing something.

I gasp for water, please get me some water.

He turns and evaluates me, decides I'm fine and goes back to his "job". Meanwhile I'm still choking.

After about a minute of this I think the noise gets to him (how annoying can your girlfriend be, choking in the background while you are trying to get sh*t done?!) and he gets me a glass of water . I'm pretty sure it saved my life. My throat has been kind of raw ever since, you know from all the choking and wretching and coughing, but at least I lived to tell the tale.

I need to go back to work. Do you know someone that will hire me?

That or I need to stop baking.