Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Alcohol And Steak

I'm pretty zen this morning. Which is weird. For all intents and purposes, today is a Monday. But I don't care. I feel...content. An odd feeling to have at work. Perhaps something is very wrong with me. That must be it. I'm dying and this is a symptom.

Mostly I think it was the lake and the alcohol and the steak and the poker playing this weekend that has helped to get me to this state of mind. When I say it like that it sounds like I'm a guy and went away with my buddies. I actually went away with The Boyfriend to see his parents. But they are clearly a bunch of drunk card sharks.

So Veronica is acting manager and starts her emails with things like "Since I'm the manager this week" and says things like "I'm the manager!". But it doesn't have any affect on me. I don't care. She could clomp around in high heels naked as a jay bird screaming about being a manager and I wouldn't care. Honestly, she pretty well does that, except for the whole naked thing and now that I have gone there with that visual...there is going to have to be some brain scrubbing. She might be taking this manager status thing a touch too far though. That. Was my point.

My spy in the office (Anna) told me that after Anna had made a "that's what she said" joke (Veronica's very favourite kind of joke), Veronica told her she should reprimand her for making inappropriate jokes (really?). Anna was like well I can't work because you all are distracting me to which Veronica replied that she shouldn't say that because then they won't be allowed to talk anymore and Anna was all "well its true" and then Veronica was like "how can you talk to your manager like that?"

Um. Probably because you're not actually a manager. Despite your chart of effective leadership qualities you're still just a minion. And also- really?!

She is going to South Africa in about 3 weeks. To prevent her excitement from getting the better of her I decided that today we would discuss malaria and how much it sucks. See I get eaten alive by mosquitos so I imagine I would probably get malaria (although, progress! This weekend in mosquito country I only got bit 3 times!). Since Veronica has an overactive imagination and worries about everything improbable (she's mostly worried about getting raped and mugged while on vacation) I thought a gentle reminder about malaria was in order. Dont' forget to take those nasty malaria pills every day! She's totally worrying about it right now. Less brain space for "I'm the manager!" thoughts this way.

Everybody wins.

So Maurice went to see Iron Man 2 this weekend. So did Veronica. Discussions were in order. I jumped in because a) I'm going to see it this week and b) only good things can come of a Maurice/Veronica discussion. I was totally rewarded. First by an anecdote about a wobbly movie seat that Veronica's boyfriend decided to remove from the theatre (why wouldn't you?), then something about the hammer of Thor and finally Don Cheadle. I love Don Cheadle, Veronica loves Don Cheadle, you all love Don Cheadle, Maurice...doesn't know who he is. How does Veronica explain an illustrious career that has included Hotel Rwanda, Crash and Ocean's 11 (to name a very few)? Referring to Iron Man 2: "You know, the black guy".

We've come so far you guys. So far.

Even after recounting all the ridiculousness that is my professional life, I still feel pretty damn zen. I recommend a weekend away for all. It will do you a world of good. Also. Stieg Larsson's new book The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest came out sooner than I thought, is now in my possession and makes all things better. Except that right now I have to work and can't read it.

Also- its not actually Monday!


  1. I have a confession to make... I don't know who Don Cheadle is.

    Well, I take that back. I googled him, and I do know who he is. But not by name. To Maurice's defense (not that he deserves it), some people just don't remember things like actors' names...

    Anywho, sounds like an amusing day so far. Today should be an interesting week in the office ;.)

  2. Marshall I believe is the name thee has chosen for I!May 25, 2010 at 10:15 AM

    In the best interest of screwing with Management (aka Stupid Princess prancing around calling herself Manager) you should also note some of the nasty side effects of malaria pills such as depression, temporary blindness, rashes ect. I'm sure this can only lead to good things.