Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Literary Constipation

You guys? I have serious writer's block this morning.

Some might argue that I can't possibly have writer's block since I can't seriously call myself a writer. But I would argue that I can too.

Whatever you want to call it (literary constipation, word block, idiocy) the words and witticisms just aren't flowing today.

Nothing happened to me at work yesterday, or in transit. The highlight of my day was when my cousin (not you, the one that lives overseas. Clearly you would remember calling me. Or maybe you wouldn't. I'm not judging.) called me drunk. His wife was away and his kid was asleep so he drank the house dry and gave me a call. Touching right? I told him it was the highlight of my day and he was hella pleased. Apparently he leads an exciting life because he was all "really? I'm the highlight?! I'm so flattered". I couldn't let him carry on thinking that he was that special could I? I told him that of course he was the highlight but my day had thus far consisted of my rotting in my cubicle and coming home to an empty apartment.

After we hung up I had a glass of wine. The wine became the highlight.

No highlights yet today. Well there was this part in Such A Pretty Fat that consisted of a bear costume, a basement and a cowardly dog that did make me laugh really hard on the bus, scaring away other commuters. But so far thats it. There should be a warning on those Jen Lancaster books that they are highly relateable, hilarious and thus should not be read on the bus unless you don't mind looking insane. VEG amirite?

Good thing I'm going away tomorrow isn't it? I don't know what I would do if I still had to face the rest of this week here.

Probably nothing. I mean there's not a whole lot you can do to change the speed of time can you? Has anyone else felt like this has been a really long week? And its only Wednesday morning? It feels like it should be Thursday. Which is really messing with my head.

Tomorrow I wake up at the a$$crack of dawn to put in a full day here before I hit the road for bliss (read: lake and wine). Its totally worth a couple of hours of wonderful, deep sleep to be able to get the hell out of here for the rest of the week. And yes, I realize that its only the one day. But I like to exaggerate.

Yeah, I should go now shouldn't I? I'll try to be more interesting tomorrow. Or steal someone else's life story for the day.


  1. O.M.G. that part of Such a Pretty Fat, I was reading in the tub and I almost dropped my book in the water because I was laughing so hard. Seriously, Hubby thought I had finally cracked. Esp. the part about cleaning off the putrescent "stuff" - seriously, I just started giggling now when I remembered it.

    And, I say, f**k the commuters - besides, looking isane means you ALWAYS get a seat.

  2. Did you ever read Angus, Thongs, & Full Frontal Snogging as a youngster? Those books require the same warning.

    On another note, did you just say *hella*?!?!? As a Northern Californian, I'm honored to see you use that word.

  3. I love Loki and Maisy. They crack me up. I want to hang out with them. Don't you feel like your life is better now that Jen Lancaster is such an important part of it?

    Breenuh: I have not read that book. I will look into it! I was unaware that "hella" had any kind of geographical...whats the word I'm looking for here. I'm sure you know what I mean. But I use it all the time.