Friday, May 14, 2010

Friday Funk

Last night Veronica got a phone call that made her all smiley and happy and cheerful. She has been selected to go to some conference in Calgary because she was nominated for service excellence.

Barf right?

When she got off the phone there was no one around except me. Lucky me. She starts saying things like "I'm so excited!" and "Wow, I did not expect that!". I honestly do not care what the phone call was about so I don't bite. But she can't contain her excitement so she tells me. And I proceed to rain on her parade:

"Oh. I thought that was on the east coast? Oh you have to win the trip? When is it? Right before you go to South Africa? That sucks. How will you find time for all those last minute things? I thought someone else was going to that? Oh. Sounds like kind of a pain in the butt to me"

I know. I'm an a$$hole. I just really don't care. Apparently when I left for the day she started skipping around the office telling everyone and even exclaimed at one point that there was no point in her working anymore because she was too excited.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is how my place of work rewards incompetence and hypocrisy. I wonder what Amy would have said to see her running around distracting everyone else and not working herself.

Oh thats right, nothing because they are best friends.

Its Friday and the day is totally ruined for me. I worked all week to get here and its all gone to sh*t a half hour in. Its not all Veronica's butt-kissing fault though.

My arch-nemisis Starbucks had a hand in it too.

I know I know. I just don't learn. I can't help it. I want to believe in them. Every once in a while they do so good, they make this amazing drink that just makes everything bad disappear while I float away on a vanilla-y cloud of delicious.

And every other time they serve me the coffee runoff and call it tea without even having the decency to try and mask it with some shots of G damn vanilla!

This morning they even had the nerve to not have any chocolate croissants. I'm telling you guys, people are going to be harmed in the making of this Friday.

I keep hearing about these mythical coupons that you get when Starbucks messes up on your drink but I have never got one for myself (there was that time that Anna sacrificed hers for me). How am I supposed to taste my scalding hot tea right there to make sure that its right? How is it so difficult to make my drink? I'm not a crazy soy, extra hot, triple foam kind of person. I just want my London Fog with some vanilla! PLEASE!

So I'm starving and caffeine-less. And I'm going to have to listen to Veronica getting congratulated on her nomination all day long. Turd Ferguson just came by-- I think today is the day that I snap. Its been a long time coming. Its been great knowing you all, thank you all for your support and comments over the past year. I will think of you fondly in prison.


  1. Will it make you feel any better that my elbow is broken like you said?? Barely broken, but broken.

  2. It is sad how some workplaces don't honor nice people who do their work well. Sometimes, nice guys do finish last.

  3. Koo: Other people's misfortunes (as long as they aren't really bad) always make me feel better. Especially when attached to hilarious drinking stories.

    Carmie: Isn't that just the way the world works? You gotta be cutthroat, not competent.