Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Three Reasons I Still Haven't Got A Raise

Maurice and I have been trading movie tips. He says that I need to see Avatar because its the most amazing movie ever made. And I told him that if he's looking for a good movie, he should go see The Young Victoria.

He made a face and said that he didn't even know what that was.

I tried to explain, but I think his brain shut off-- probably can only learn so many new things in one day and we had already discussed breakfast stuff (he had a grilled cheese sandwich for breakfast, I suggested that maybe he would enjoy cereal. And he doesn't like bacon).

I'll probably see Avatar but definitely not because Maurice told me to.


I thought that today might be a good day to introduce you to some new staff members. I feel like this week has been a lot about ranting and perhaps your auras need a break from all of the bad karma I'm throwing out there.

Turns out that we have a bunch of money that we can use to hire new people on, but not enough to give me a raise. Makes sense to me.

Because there is suddenly so much work to do (management has no foresight, it just happened all of a sudden) we obviously need to hire dozens of people and train them to help out.

And we got some good ones.

Sometimes they interview and hire normal people, that are able to learn quickly and fit in. And other times I'm not really sure what happens, but they hire some crazies. And this is the story of those crazies.

Today is the first day for a girl I will call Georgia. She is a medical school student, she worked with us as a Temp last year and then went back to school in the fall. She is back now to help out, and I assume, make some money to pay for school. Georgia was a supervisor favourite when she was here. I admit, she amuses me. She's a cool girl- wears cool outfits, has a cool haircut- has some awesome stories. About her cocaine usage. I'm not even making this up. She will tell Veronica stories about how she was high for days. There are also the more tame stories that start with shots of tequila. For Veronica, who is allergic to alcohol and who never goes to the bar except to pick her BF up, these stories are her window into another world. Veronica even wrote a recommendation for Georgia to go to medical school.

Because thats what the world needs- cokehead doctors.

My favourite new person has to be a guy that I shall call Nathan. Nathan has been here for maybe a month now and quickly managed to make a name for himself. As a giant goon. I haven't talked to him much (he's not worth the time) but what conversations we have had included his telling us how he used to be a chef but that there wasn't any room for advancement, discussions about how he is getting season's tickets for the local NHL team (FYI there is a wait list for about 3-5 years to get those) and he could get people a discount at the team store, and mutterings about his protein shakes. He actually brought a blender to work so that he could make himself protein shakes.

Aside from all the hot air though, the best part about Nathan are his interpretations of Casual Fridays. Normal people see Casual Fridays as a chance to wear jeans to work, maybe sneakers (kicks? runners? choose your favourite) and a button down or a sweater. Not Nathan. Nathan sees it as a chance to showcase his inner hoodrat. He favours caps (he will actually try to wear a hat inside at work every day- usually they are just perched on top of his head, at an angle, obviously) sideways (I think the term is Lidz? Or is that just where you can buy them?), those scarfs that are all wrapped around his neck like a rapper, giant sweaters, giant pants and often times, very loud colours.

I'm amazed no one has said anything to him. But am glad in a way, because I enjoy the judging I get to do.

Finally, my least favourite newbie. Keep in mind she has been here less than a week and I am the worst person for accurate first impressions, so maybe she is awesome. But so far Olga is lame. Here is what I know about Olga- she was living in Europe for the last 2 years, might be European, currently lives with her mom, looks older than most folks here and has a bandaid on her face. But not a cool bandaid like Nelly, its just on her chin and I'm thinking its covering up something nasty. Her favourite pastime is starting sentences off with "In Europe...". This gets old fast. Yesterday I was on a break and had to ensure an entire one-sided conversation about how European women never wear flats, they wear heels everywhere. I'm thinking she is Eastern European? I'm fairly certain this is not true of all European women- Mona, Angela, Emily? Care to clarify? She also makes really affected comments like "Bon Appetit ladies" as she leaves the lunchroom. She makes me want to scream a little.

Now before I go, I wanted to relay something I overheard between Georgia and Veronica.
V: ...maybe I will see him in South Africa
G: When are you going to South Africa?
V: June
G: Oh, so still pretty far away then.
V: Its not! Its SUCH a big deal!

Veronica trying to desperately get a cokehead's approval.

Neat.

PS Dustin: Georgia was asking about you. I think she misses you.

14 comments:

  1. I have heard that comment about heels in Europe before....I think from a Polish person....doubt it's true though because I know a Polish person and I am pretty sure she wears flats.

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  2. This is definitely further evidence that this girl spent time in Eastern Europe. Totally different breed.

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  3. Oh no! I am Half Eastern European and Half the other group...wonder which breed I am more like...I definitley like my heels.

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  4. hahaha...protein shakes...he would like them

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  5. hahahaha omg you totally are.
    I would say that the eastern part had more of an influence on you.

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  6. I have been working on health information systems in developing countries for some time and it is interesting that a lot of your principles are the same as what I have been proposing to resource poor countries. The ideas of keeping things simple, incremental development, local use of data, minimal data set, appropriate technology and of course data standards and interoperability.

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  7. I'm not sure when you are planning on leaving this job, but I really think when you go, you should type up a cast list, something like:

    Veronica - Sandy

    John - David

    Malcolm - Josh

    Georgia - Amy

    Anna - Jennifer

    and so on and so forth, along with the name of your blog, that way they can read about themselves from the perspective of someone that has to deal with them on a daily basis. I wonder which ones would giggle at their own expense? Just imagine their faces.....

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  8. Poor Maurice will be so hurt you didn't remember his fake name.

    I will take the suggestion into consideration...if you go back though, you will see that John actually knows about it. Well he did. I think he thinks that I stopped. Go back to June.

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  9. Wow, that would totally suck. Seriously. I've told no one the name of my blog for fear of that very thing happening. And I can say a lot of things about the people I work with, but one thing I can't say is that they are not clever. I would totally be busted if I told anyone! I don't care about my pic being up, but I definitely operate on a no name kind of basis.

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  10. Never wear heels unless clubbing. And even then I have them off most of the time and am whining from pain. She told u a dirty lie.(Though is Ireland really Europe? I think not).

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  11. see i buy heels but actually wear flats. or will wear heels but have flats in my bag, for when i have to do any actual walking. you can see my heels under my desk though. maybe i´m just not european enough.

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  12. I don't think she is Irish. I hope not- the Irish are cool. Angela, I'm with you, that's how I roll. Maybe this is because we are both a weird cultural hybrid?
    And Laurie- stay hidden. Its best for all involved. Mostly you.

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  13. Dude who's this other Mona? Is she Irish? Cause I think I wanna be best friends with her.
    I got all confused and thought I'd written that for a second.

    Anyway to answer your question, I guess like our Angelita I'm not that European. Actually let's face it I'm African, we're all about being barefoot!

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