Monday, June 29, 2009

My Favourite Things

The Sound of Music clearly...

John has set out to make me happy. He is of the Chesshire cat variety-- always grinning (but up to no good) and he needs to see me smile. I'm not a smiley person (my face relaxes into a sad face, not a frown, but very sad) by nature and definitely am not a smiley person at work. I'm not a person that outwardly shows great joy or happiness. Well at work I am none of these things--after hours I'm a different person.

But I think that John has taken my 9-5 melancholy personally and has set out to change my way of thinking about the workplace. The first step? Create a list of the Top 50 (yup, FIFTY!) things that I LIKE about work. Fifty things I like about work. How am I ever going to manage this?

I have come up with one coping mechanism. I know that the List I create for John will have to be serious. Concrete examples of things that I like about work (my keyboard? the colour beige?). But as enthusiastic as he is about the project, I kind of think that its a load of crap AND a waste of my time. So in order to kind of take the piss out of this (only I will know that I am taking the piss but it will be enough) I am mocking the exercise here.

**Please note that the following has been written with a heavy handed use of sarcasm**

Top Things I Like About Work/My Job

1. That I am left alone to do my job without micromanaging. My manager trusts me to do my job and do it well without sticking his nose in every 5 minutes.

2. Patronizing emails and signage sent out and posted around the office. I like being treated like a 6 year old and given step by step instructions on how to wash my hands in the kitchen and the washroom. Emails that tell me to empty my beverage container or make sure to flush the toilet are equally welcome.

3. I value the non-relationship that I have with my Cubicle Buddy--a relationship that involves no face to face communication of any kind. Case in point? When Michael Jackson died I got an IM from him- he sits next to me.

4. My manager John. I like that he has made it his personal mission to make me his version of "happy", engaging me in constructive dialogue that is neither patronizing nor aggravating.

5. I like our business casual dress code that is enforced only in our department. I like the dry cleaning fees and clothing expenses that come with dressing in business casual while employees sharing our work space parade around in jeans Monday- Thursday.

6. I like Lamp.

7. I like my window, enabling me to see outside this bleak depressing black hole of contentment.

8. I like having all of my communications monitored and brought up to me in obtuse terms. I like knowing that my managers are betraying my trust without their actually telling me so.

9. I enjoy sharing our birthdays and special events (and food) with the other departments and getting the shaft on their special days.

10. I like not getting a raise but attending a "party" showing my company's appreciation for me and the work that I do. I agree that a party is a much better way of showing appreciation. I don't enjoy eating anyway.

So there you have it folks- a start. Thankfully I am going on holiday after tomorrow. One more good thing about work: not being here.

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