I am not, by nature, a sunshiney person. I tend more towards sarcasm and low expectations. Especially when it comes to work.
But walking around the city, especially when the weather is beautiful, I can't help but notice all the smiling people. Are they smiling because the weather is perfect? Because they are out of their offices? Or (incomprehensibly) because they are happy with their jobs?It has been so long since I have had a job that I enjoyed, that I do not even remember what it feels like to get up and feel contentment at the thought of going to work. Of going to an office where you feel like you actually achieve something in the course of a day.
It has been many many months since I have felt anything other than irritation and dread about going to work.But I have come to terms with the fact that a 9-5 cubicle world is not ideal. Maybe I'm not cut out for this lifestyle. I don't actually think that that is the case. If anyone is suited to a 9-5 office existence it would be me. Why? Because thats a natural life course. That is what you do. You graduate highschool, you go to university and then you get a job in an office. That's how it works. And I am not one to stray off the beaten path. Point is, I have resigned myself to being cheerless and despondant at work.
Which is why it was so offensive to me to be forced to come face to face with this workplace sunshine. I reserve the right to be crusty and curmudgeoneous at work. I do not get paid enough to pretend to be anything else. In exchange I will quietly work in my cubicle, slowly working my way through the piles of paper on my desk.
Yesterday afternoon, as I was faithfully plugging away at my work, my peace and quiet was shattered.Out of nowhere I hear the unmistakeable sounds of wheels dragging along the carpet.
Which can only mean one thing:
"HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EVERYONE!!! HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING TODAY ON THIS BEAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTIFUL DAY!!".
Really? Are you really screeching this as you walk down the hall? This is Becky. She is part of the executives of this branch of the company. She is rarely here. Thank God. Because if she was here every day, and this is what she was saying all the time, in that high pitched happy voice of hers, I would probably snap.
As if that wasn't bad enough, as she walks she gives individual shout outs. Using names. Only problem is that she doesn't actually know all of us by face. Easy fix- use the names labelled on each individual cubicle. So as you walk by Lilly, say "Hi Lilly!!! How ARE you?!" or "Maurice, good to SEE YOU!".
Only problem is, sometimes the labelled person isn't sitting there. And then you are just parading your ignorance. Screeching at 'Maurice' when Kyle is sitting there, well that just doesn't work. So maybe, just don't. Don't come in here screeching, or cheerful. Come in quietly. Do your job, get out.
When I am sitting in the lunch room, that is my time. You are not allowed to interrupt my time. So when Becky is here and she comes into the lunchroom, it is all that I can do not to leave. I mean she doesn't actually know my name--learning my name and what I do here takes too much time and she is too important for that. So she will just pretend. Which is offensive no? I try to keep my head down and hope she doesn't address me. And usually I'm lucky. I think I probably have a "don't-mess-with-me" look on my face.But if its not me she's talking to, its invariably someone I'm sitting close to. And even though I try to tune her out, read the days headlines in a commuter paper, that cheery voice cuts right through my concentration, and her inane chatter fills the room.
Becky can't be one of those people that quietly goes about their business while we go about ours-- her whole presence has to fill the room. Her cheery attitude makes me want to vomit.
There's a reason the windows don't open...
Becky, please stop. If I wanted this much sunshine at work, I would sit outside.