Friday, June 19, 2009

The Wheels on the Bus...

I used to have a car. I drove it to work every day.

But then I got environmentally conscious. And I started taking the bus.

Yeah, no that's not true. I stopped driving every where because my new job is right in the heart of the city and parking here is expensive. And there is a bus from my house that drops me basically on the doorstep. So you can't really argue with that: its convenient, cheaper and greener.

But this also means that I have to take the bus. Twice a day. And for someone that has been used to driving everywhere (except on nights out, when the bus becomes a party ride, sneaking forbidden drinks along), it can be an adjustment. Even if it is convenient, cheaper and green.

I'm not a big people person. I don't like crowds and I definitley value my personal space. So some days the bus isn't ideal. Its alternatively too hot and too cold. It can be dirty. Uncomfortable.

But I would say that out of all the things that I don't like about the bus, my fellow passengers have to be top of the list. Here is a short list of the typical bus passengers (that I don't like).

The Cologne/Perfume Overdoser. Usually a problem on the morning commute, this person decided to skip a shower and bathe in eau de stink for the ride in. General rule of thumb? If you can smell yourself, its probably too much.

The Stink. Alternative to the Overdoser, the Stink doesn't believe in deoderant. More of a problem on the ride home, especially on hot summer afternoons when everyone is crowded together on the bus like a can of sardines. Hopefully this person gets a seat (not next to you) because if they have to hold onto the poles, they have to life their arm.

Loud Talkers. The bus is not a large space. You can all pretty much hear each other. So talking loudly to your buddy basically sitting on your lap, is probably not necessary. Other varieties include the Loud Cell Phone Junkie who can't disengage from her mobile long enough to be civil to the bus driver. This loudmouth thinks that her conversation is so riveting and important that it must be shared with the whole bus. It isn't and it shouldn't.

Space Hogs. As mentioned before, the bus doesn't have a lot of space. So I don't know why more people aren't more concerned about conserving space. These Space Hogs wear their backpacks on the bus (if the bus is crammed, remove bag and place it at your feet to allow more space for passengers-- also prevents bag from hitting seated passengers in the face), refuse to move down to the end when asked and if a seat does become available somehow manages to take it up and half the seat next to it.

Seated Ables. These are probably the worst of the worst. While the above mentioned passengers are annoying they are, in all likelihood, unaware of their deficiencies. But the Seated Ables? They know better. These are the scumbags that while perfectly capable of standing on the bus, choose to take up the precious seats reserved for those that are not. These people stubbornly refuse to give up their seats to the elderly, disabled or pregnant women. How are you still sitting as an 80 year old woman struggles to keep her balance while holding groceries? How are you not shooting out of your seat to help someone walking with a cane sit down? Who are you? Stand up, offer your seat to someone more deserving!

The only good thing about the bus as far as I can see, is it gives me a chance to put on my earphones, listen to some music and read a good book. Hopefully this is enough of a distraction from all the riffraff that invariably rides the bus with me.


  1. Oh god, Seated Ables are the WORST!

  2. By the way that was your buddy Natalie. Forgot to mention that.

  3. Natalie! You found it! Yay! And you commented! You're a star!
    I'm glad that you relate to my public transit experience!