Friday, July 9, 2010

Friday Snickers

We have made it to Friday kids. Give yourself a hand if you didn't kill anyone you work with, scream at the little people, or have a panic attack in an office bathroom stall.

Still with me? Most of you? Well done.

So in honour of its being Friday (the most glorious day of the week) I have put together a collection of amusing incidents that have occured in my office this week. Weird right? Its like, they have a meeting on Monday telling us when we're all getting laid off and everyone just gives up pretending to work. The atmosphere in here (rhyme time hehe) has relaxed just a smidge, but we are taking full advantage.

A few times we have had power outages in the area. The last time it was just for the weekend. Another time the whole downtown area had no power for 3 days. Except that our building was fine (I'm not kidding- the buildings next to us, down the street and across the street had no power. We were fine. It was lame). Sometimes the lights flicker and I get really excited. Yesterday the lights flickered. Twice. I was already rubbing my hands together in that delighted-villain kind of way, anticipating the loss of power.

Turns out, it was Maurice experimenting with a lighting scheme for his cubicle. I guess he was expecting cubicle company and while the wine was chilling he wanted to set the mood?

Later on Maurice, joined by our friend Nathan and the mail guy, decided that they wanted to go outside but didn't want to leave the building (I don't understand it either) so they went o the patio a few floors up. I should explain that I have never mentioned this before because I don't go up there ever since I don't smoke. So they are up there 'catching some rays', living the life etc when they get freaked out because there are birds up there. Weird how the birds are flying around outside. Anyway we later heard that the birds decided to have some fun with them, flying over their heads. Apparently this was way too much reality for Maurice and the mail guy who screeched and ran away. Like girls. Nathan did a pretty excellent impression in the lunch room later.

I think that Maurice really misses me now that we are no longer cubicle buddies. I was making my tea the other day and Maurice comes in and uncharacteristically starts a conversation. He asks me if I miss my old spot. I do (so much. That window. The non-Amyness. My own printer). He said he does too. Clearly this was his way of reaching out and letting me know that once upon a time I brightened his day and he misses that. Obviously I have been neglecting him lately. Something I should remedy (poor Maurice).

On Tuesday a group of us went to the pub for lunch to watch the Netherlands defeat Uruguay in the World Cup semi-finals. Gloria (I have decided to give the Korea super-fan a name because a) she provides a lot of blog material and b) she reads the blog now and requested a name. If only you knew how we came up with Gloria...) had a Guinness. Which is a meal. Later on she was telling Anna about it (Anna was at school so she couldn't come with) and smacked her lips saying "mmmm Guinness". Clearly Anna and I were not paying any attention because we heard "mmmm penis". One of the few times I have cried laughing at work.

I have saved the best for last. This week marked the last day of one of the Temps. As is customary, a card was selected and secretly sent around so that we could all fill it with geniuine sentiments like "good luck!" and "it was fun to work with you!". For some reason they let one of the staff choose the card, instead of the usual supervisory committee. Someone not exactly known to be office appropriate 24/7. The card selected had a picture of a larger man, with unusually hairy legs and cutoffs that rode up his a$$. He was a grumpy, bearded 30something fellow, with dark hair, a disgruntled look on his face and a grad cap was perched on his head.

He also looked exactly like this guy that we work with. The guy of the hairy butt crack. The one that bent over in front of me and forever burned my retinas with the most grotesque imagery I have ever known.

I am not kidding when I say it looked exactly like him. It could have been him. Maybe at some point he needed some extra money...I don't know.

Naturally I couldn't keep this disturbing thought to myself. First I told Gloria. Who is not subtle about anything. She let out a sound that was less like a dying parrot and more like a parrot that is being strangled but it keeps fighting to breathe and squawk for help. And she let it keep going. I walked away and told the others that Gloria was having a seizure. Other reactions included "you just ruined my day" and "I was going to have lunch but now I'm not hungry".

All in all a success I'd say. I can't suffer alone.

Happy Friday all! Cheer for Holland on Sunday! Hup Holland Hup!

PS Angela- be safe on Sunday! Being Dutch in Madrid can go one of 2 ways...


  1. why a parrot? why not a chicken...hummingbird....or why not an ostrige? you know what's even more effed up? thanks to YOU....on the utter silence...i started "pfffffft" and started laughing out loud to myself, thinking of that card. i need to start a) looking more Korean b) learn the word "subtlety" cheers

  2. Laughed myself to tears reading this! :)

  3. Sounds like a ridiculous week! Much more enjoyable than the usual work M-F ;.) Have a good weekend!