Thursday, July 29, 2010

A Message For Thursday

In a haze of boredom yesterday afternoon, Anna decided to take it upon herself to calculate exactly how long I have been here.

She enjoyed it; it depressed me.

As of yesterday, I have been here for 912 days (including weekends and holidays), or 21,888 hours or 78,796,800 seconds. She went on to calculate how much of my life that is. Just about 10% of my life- 9.84562% to be more precise.

Like I wasn't already aware that I had wasted a lot of time here...

Anyway. Remember how I told you that Nathan had sprained his ankle coming to work? I should probably preface the following by saying that I'm not a very sympathetic person. Well my work persona isn't very sympathetic. Especially if I don't really care for you.

So this was on Friday. He came to work and spent a good hour telling people over and over about how he fell down on the way to work, wheeled himself around in his chair because he couldn't walk etc. Today, nearly a week later, its still a mess.

And by mess, I mean he's still going on about it.

Personally, if I actually sprained my ankle (as in sprained and not just twisted you know?) I would be taking a day or 2 off to put my foot up and let the swelling go down. Not having actually seen his foot (nor having any desire to) I don't know what the swelling situation is like. I'm also not a doctor but I think (having sprained my ankles in the past and twisted/injured them more times than I care to admit [alcohol causes loss of balance, did you know?]) that if there is a lack of swelling, its not really sprained.

Like I said, not sympathetic.

Take some ibuprofen and shut up already. He opens up with "dress shoes are so pretty but they hurt so much." Ladies, have we been there before? Exactly, this isn't news.

Also, how is it that he gets to work after me, but leaves before me? He takes breaks, he goes for lunch...WTF?

Turns out that Nathan has been a more interesting cubicle buddy than Maurice. And by interesting, I mean, more fun to mock. Maurice was dumb, but like Jessica Simpson, he just can't help it. Nathan is a dumba$$ but I suspect that if he really tried he wouldn't be such a weiner. Plus once Maurice started suspecting that I was mocking him (which took a good year and a half) he kind of stepped back. I'm positive that Nathan will just enjoy the attention.

Nathan just asked me how you change the font in Microsoft Word. How does he work in an office?? Even I know that.

Since John has been gone, we have all noticed that Amy seems to have become much more relaxed. She laughs and jokes, doesn't make a big stink if you want some vacation time (she actually asked me the other day why I didn't just take Tuesday off next week as well, then I get the whole week off), or someone is sick. Its a welcome change.

Yesterday she cemented this new phase in our relationship by sharing chocolate with me.

Yes, it was chocolate that she didn't like. But it was the act of sharing. The feeling of solidarity, community, and trust that the chocolate symbolized.

Also I was really jonesing for chocolate.

Even though I had Monday off, this still feels like a really long week. I thought it would go by fast, but because I have next week to look forward to (wine, lake and puppy- perfect storm!) Time has deliberately stopped. Time can be such an a-hole.

Let's collectively tell Thursday to f*ck off already and I'm sure it will listen. Thank you for your cooperation.

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