Monday, June 7, 2010

Cheerful F*ckers

I did not sleep well last night. We watched 2 more episodes of season 4 of The Tudors and I was nauseous for a good hour afterwards. Odd how difficult it is to drift away in peaceful slumber when you are trying not to puke.

I mean, its not like I don't know what happens- I'm pretty well versed in Tudor history. I guess I just wasn't expecting it to be I can't even revisit it. I will throw up.

Seriously, think of something else to talk about before I vomit.

Monday! Its Monday!

Yup, that'll do it.

I guess the silver lining of making myself ill (thanks to the magic of television) is that if I actually get sick at work I will have no choice but to go home.

But I really despise throwing up.

Wow we're off to a good start today aren't we? Vomit and gore. Classic. Really though, doesn't this sum up how I feel about Mondays? It really does.

Anyway, I'm tired. And for some reason, the people in my office are f*cking cheerful. Which only serves to make me want to lash out at them and make them miserable. One girl cracked a redbull in the kitchen. I can respect that, if only because she spent the night with redbull and jager. An excellent way to prepare for the workweek. So redbull at 9am seems reasonable. Except that redbull makes me think of vodka. And its too early for me to think about the lovely anasthetic wave that is vodka.

Then this other girl literally bounces into the kitchen with a cheery "good morning!" like she's some Disney f*cking princess. It is most certainly not a good morning. Its cold, and raining, I'm here and I'm still not reconciled with Starbucks. So what part of it, exactly, is good?

I usually reserve reading my horoscope until later in the day, to see if its accurate. But today I needed to know just what kind of day I was going to have. Turns out, its actually going to be good. Something fantastic has happened and more good things are on their way. And apparently I deserve it.

Which, of course, I do. Do you think this means that I'm getting a puppy? I would really like a puppy. An adorable little baby dog to cuddle.

I think thats where my horoscope was going. Fellow Pisces, we're getting puppies.

World Cup starts on Friday! This would be a lot more exciting if this didn't also mean that Veronica was heading to South Africa to experience it firsthand. I can't openly discuss how excited I am (Hup Holland!) without having to listen to her trip itinerary. And it will be a cold day in hell (incidentally, it is a little chilly in here today) before I provide Veronica with opportunities to gloat about South Africa.

No, no, only the negative side effects of malaria pills from me (thank you Marshall).

That said, I am totally going to try and paint little Dutch flags on my orange nails. First game is next Monday!

Other than that, its Monday guys so I'm just trying to concentrate on drinking my tea and not hurting my overly cheerful co-workers. I will think of an actual topic for tomorrow so that we don't have this happen again.

My hands smell like strawberries.

I'm not going anywhere with that, its just something I noticed and wanted to share. It being Monday is the only excuse I can offer.


  1. Lets be honest here... mixing Redbull with your Jager is really just a recipe for peeing a lot. I say...cut the crap and just drink jager jager's!

    Oh, and... Happy Monday?

  2. I know, it's tuesday already (but it still feels like monday to me - an awful lot of week still before me...) - actually I think redbull&jager on monday morning is rather creative choice to brighten up the start of the week (here in Germany we call it 'Fliegender Hirsch = flying stag' - though I like the nick 'flying bambi' more - very sweet and after a couple of them the whole world looks 'pink')
    Anyhoodle, every passing hour brings us closer to next weekend, right?!
    Keep going... ;-)KC

  3. excellent post.
    paint your nails.
    get a puppy.
    make the rest of THEM puke.

  4. Kacey: you are so right. Jager on its own is a much better plan.

    kittycat: Germany was where I was actually introduced to the flying stag! At my cousin's Bavarian wedding. And I haven't looked back!

    Molly: I really want a puppy! I will have to settle for Dutch flagged nail goodness for now.