I'm kind of depressed today folks. Usually an air of annoyance surrounds me in the office, but today its full out depression.
The root causes of my depression are two fold.
First, there was a certain gentleman that I share a bed with, that was still in bed when I left. He was supposed to go to work but he didn't. And this initially enraged me but now it depresses me. Sure, his department was disbanded and he's kind of in limbo until he gets reassigned. But generally, he has a good salary, job satisfaction and the ability to just not go to work.
I have none of those things. I'm 25. This depresses me.
The other cause of my depression has to do with my reading material of late. I have got to stop reading non-fiction accounts of people that found their passion and managed to get out of dead end cubicle jobs. Initially it was uplifting, now it just makes me want to jump off a bridge.
Remember that whole Julie & Julia fiasco when I cried instead of feeling uplifted and hopeful? (I tried to find you lovelies the link but...blogger is being a beyotch this morning)
Well if you will direct your attention to the right of the screen you will see a section entitled "Books on the Bus", right below my pathetic attempt at getting you to follow me on twitter and find the lastest culprit to elicit such a heartbreaking response from yours truly. "Books on the Bus" are the books that I'm reading right now- generally they get read on the bus, but sometimes I'm so hooked that I need to read them all the time- like what happened with The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo last week. Oh man that book was good. I literally woke up early on Saturday morning to finish that sucker.
(The Boyfriend did surprise me with its sequel, The Girl Who Played With Fire --I hope that means pyros...damn now I feel more bad about being so loud this morning while he was sleeping...)
Right...books. So I'm reading The One-Week Job Project by Sean Aiken. Basically this guy is 25, finished school and now has no idea what it is that he wants to do for work. So he comes up with this idea to test drive jobs for one week at a time for a whole year and see if that doesn't shed some light on his dilemma. Along the way he talks to people he's working with and for to see how they ended up doing that job and why they like it.
Here's the section that I read this morning that almost made me cry on the bus:
"Don't sell out, don't find a job that's a means to an end because its a paycheque for you [...] Find something in your heart that you want to do [...] it's about satisfaction and enjoying life. It's not about stressing on a Sunday night because you have to get up for something you don't want to do on Monday morning"
This from a guy that is spending his life trying to raise money to cure cancer.
What do I do? Sometimes I take one sheet of paper and add 3 to it. Sometimes there is just a series of mouse clicking and typing. No human interaction. No saving the human race. Not even saving the environment.
Just collecting a paycheque.
Sean also points out that a huge part of job satisfaction is the people you work with. I don't even have that. Those of you that have been checking in for a while know that I have an ineffective "boss", a stony-faced beyotch manager and a backstabby, fake supervisor. And let's not even get started on the collection of chimps that they have hired to 'work' here.
To sum up, I don't like my job, I don't get paid well, and I (mostly) don't like the people I work with.
It gets worse. I'm about to add a mortgage to the mix.
No, no, that part I'm really excited about. I just wish that people would list their apartments already so that we can view it, love it, buy it and I can work at Chapters until I find my heart's desire.
In the meantime I guess I will continue to read about other people that have done just that. Because I'm a sucker for punishment.