Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Oh The Things I Could Buy!

Today we are all going to participate in a fun little exercise.

As you all know my raise came through. I know I know, it only took 2 years, 2 months, and 23 days. It feels wonderful to be so appreciated.

Now the fun begins! What to do with my $595 extra a year? Its a lot of money and a good thing that I don't get it all at once or I might do something crazy with it.

First we're going to break it down. In one day I now earn $2.40 more. In a week, an extra $12. In a month a whole $48 extra.

You are so jealous right now. Look at you! You can barely even hide it!

I could do something boring with it like invest in my retirement (with this raise I could retire so much sooner!) but I want to do fun things! This raise has been a long time coming and I really want to make the most of it.

OK. Daily I myself a bagel. With cream cheese. If I saved for 2 days I could buy you one too! I could buy some gum, or a really trashy magazine (the classier ones run about 2-3 days worth of raise). I could buy myself a tea at Starbucks after 2 days of raise. If I waited 3 days I could get a chocolate croissant too (and we know I love me some chocolate croissant).

In a whole week I could buy lunch for me. A second week and if you're nice I might buy your lunch too. I could probably swing a new lipgloss, or a bottle of OPI nail polish. But only if I get a good deal. Some salons charge more than $12. I could get a romance novel. If I had another $1.50 I could buy the next Stieg Larsson book that comes out this summer (I finished The Girl Who Played With Fire last night...go read it now so we can discuss). Oh wait, I have an irewards card so I should be good. But thank you for offering to make up the difference. So generous!

After a month of saving my raise, we're really starting to get somewhere! $48 all to myself! I could go get a pedicure! Or buy a new dress at H&M. I could go crazy at Sephora and buy...mascara. Or an eyeshadow palette. A new pair of Payless. Maybe I should splurge on a Blu-Ray for The Boyfriend, get him in on the raise action. Its got to be enough for a talking Dug at Disneyland right? Oh but thats American dollars. Are we at par right now? My raise is retroactive all the way to April 1st so another week and I should have enough!

If I saved my raise for 6 whole months I would have $288. Big. Bucks. Sure I could use the money to make a dent on my credit card, but where is the fun in that? I could buy like 288 iphone apps! Or really go crazy at Sephora. Buy some jeans, a top, a cute dress, shoes. Some sort of electronic that I'm completely clueless about so maybe better to let The Boyfriend figure that out. I could spend a night in Whistler. Or tickets to a Canucks game. Scratch that- a ticket to a Canucks game.

After a whole year I would have $595 whole dollars all for me. All the yelling, snotty emails, the meetings with John, the belittling...its all been worth it for $595. If only I had known that this pot of gold was waiting at the end of my rainbow. I could get the iPad. I could get like 12 talking Dugs from Disneyland and line them up and make them say things like "I can smell you!" in a round (like when you sang Row Your Boat in elementary school). A new camera. One car payment (I don't have a car...but I'm this much closer now!)

(I know, I said 'like' way too much in that last paragraph. I disgust myself too)

I can't even think of what all I can do with all this wealth- its too much! I need your suggestions!

Who am I kidding- its all going to bagels and nail polish. But feel free to throw more ideas my way.


  1. ME! ME! ME! Spend it on ME! Or on a matching Dug for ME! And how the f&%k did you finish that behemoth book already? Sorry, didn't want to swear on someone else's blog.

  2. Snake oil salesmanApril 21, 2010 at 1:37 PM

    I'll be coming by on Tuesday at 11:30 for lunch. You're paying.

  3. VEG- I finished that book so quickly for 2 reasons: 1. I have about an hour commute to work each way and 2. I read books really fast.

    Snake oil- 11.30? What are you? 85? Veronica? I eat at 1.30.

  4. Is that $595 before or after tax?
    Sorry, I just don't want you to forget that your friendly government wants a big ol' bite out of that bagel of yours...

  5. The Record: Before.

    And how come no one suggested I take my raise and gamble? Buy lottery tickets? That's gotta be the most surefire way to turn this into some megabucks no?