Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The Day Part Of My Soul Died

Its a grey, rainy morning today, which is just as well because it totally suits my mood.

Obviously that thing that happened last night in that hockey game? That will not be discussed except to say that those boys are breaking my heart. I really think I'm heartbroken and I blame The Boyfriend 100% for making me care. Jerk.

Remember how yesterday I was all excited about my blogging course that starts on Thursday? Well that's all gone to sh*t as well. I got a call yesterday from someone that is somehow involved with the course who told me that due to poor enrollment (I guess 3 people does not a full class make) the class has been cancelled. Of course it has. So now I won't learn how to be a proper blogger and I can't put it on my resume as an employable skill.

I'm kind of in full on snark mode today. Which is good news for those of you that like an extra helping of snark with their coffee. For those of you that prefer sunshine and rainbows...I'm not sure how you found me, but perhaps take the day off.

Another office birthday today. There was one yesterday too. Office birthdays are the best. I walked in this morning to a desk covered in streamers, balloons and confetti. I wonder what its like for co-workers to care that its your special day. You know what birthday girl? You share your birthday with Hitler. So how about that? They are throwing all pretense of budget restrictions out the window and only celebrating birthdays on the other team, or the important people's birthday. Which really leaves me feeling all warm and f*cking fuzzy.

They made another woman cry at work yesterday. I heard the before ("can I talk to you about something for a minute?"), I saw the after (blotchy, red face, no verbal capacity- she's not in today and I don't blame her) and am left wondering, what the hell is wrong with managers? Did they not read the chapter on how not to be a$$holes?

I sure wish that I had some way of getting a talking Dug from the movie Up. I know that that would cheer me up. If only I knew someone that was going to say...Disneyland then I'm sure that I would be able to get my hands on one.

I was also about 30 seconds late this morning (thanks major arterial construction) and on the way in I kept thinking about how irritated I was that they were going to say something about the itty bitty lateness when I'm never told "Hey, I noticed that you were about 20 minutes early this morning so why don't you just take off 20 minutes early?". A$$hats.

Finally I understand that many days I clearly don't give a sh*t about what I'm wearing to the office. In my defense, work clothes cost money and I don't get paid very well. Also its not like I'm showing up in ripped or sleazy clothes. They just tend more towards comfort. And yes I did stop wearing make up but that's because you lot really aren't worth the effort. Also, I have a pretty face. Naturally.

However, its Spring and the sunshine has made me happy. So I bought new dresses. This is in no way a reflection of the people I work with growing on me or my working situation improving in any way. Its more that I got new clothes and I need to accessorize and groom accordingly. Yesterday the compliments were focused on how adorable my dress was (it was). Today its more "Why are you all dressed up?"

1. I'm not dressed up. This is actually how I dress when I'm happy. I don't dress this way normally because I hate you.
2. F*ck off.

I think that about covers it. Oh actually no it doesn't. Amazing news guys. Raises came through. Only 2 months after we discussed it too. Don't worry they are retroactive all the way to April 1st. I don't even know what I'm going to do with all this extra money! I mean $595 extra a year is going to make a huge difference.


  1. Maybe a Dug quote will cheer you up...
    'Hey, I know a joke! A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.'

  2. You know you shouldn't knock that extra $595 a year. Your managers worked really hard to get you that raise! You think the company can afford to give out $0.286 per hour raises to just anyone??? Come on! They have record profits to make. Over paid board members to give bonus' that leave your annual salary in the dust! With all these expenses how can you even accept that increase in wage??? In fact, you sicken me! You should take a voluntary pay decrease.

    ...in case you can't tell I'm being sarcastic corporations can go stuff their bottoms with anthrax (sorry anthrax is SOOOOOO 2007? let's use swine flu) covered bills.

  3. Koo- the Dug quote totally cheered me up. But you already know this because I emailed you and told you.

    Squirrel! you're right. How could I be so selfish when all those board members and executives need their bonuses! You have inspired me to march right back in there and give back my "raise" (I'm using the term loosely...technically it fits the definition of a raise, but they might as well have just kicked me in the box you know?)

    I did catch the sarcasm. I'm smrt like that.

  4. The best part about this blog is that it's all real. You don't lie or exaggerate. And those that read will know a bit about Maurice. I don't know if it's mentioned that he makes more than us. The person who when I called him chivalrous said he wasn't cold makes more. As much as I like to insult you and make fun of you, that's taking it a bit too far.

    Maybe if we were related to Amy or going to South Africa we would've gotten a raise. Sorry, an appropriate raise.

    I'm also annoyed at the fact that Veronica knows how much I make, not that it's anything to brag about. But she's a supervisor. All she is supposed to be is a stooge to tell on us.

    On the bright side....no...there is none today...maybe tomorrow?

    Wanna bet that Edna won't get a birthday cake or anything this month? I need to make some easy money considering my "raise".