Eavesdropping

Do you ever just listen to what is going on in the office? People have some pretty messed up conversations. It can be interesting. It can make you laugh. It can make you roll your eyes. But you always learn something.

Yesterday was a particularly good day for eavesdropping in my office. I just can't keep vital information like this to myself, so I am choosing you lot to share it with. That's right, you have been chosen. Feels good doesn't it?

Ugh, before I begin can I just relate something equally nauseating? You will no doubt be thrilled to know that this past weekend was the 4th anniversary of the founding of thisdepartment. I know right? BIG deal. Anyway, Veronica and Amy are the only original members of the department (there were 4 to start with. That's right, half of them are still here) so they are the only ones that really care.

They get each other presents. And cards. For real.

I guess this could be sweet. But mostly it irritates me because for the past 2 weeks I have had to hear about the pending anniversary. And how this actually means that we need to celebrate Amy and Veronica. And now I have to listen to them open their gifts. At work, on work time, and ooh and aah and show off to everyone else. None of us have presents. Not that I care to taint the month of march with an anniversary of such low calibre. I have bigger fish to fry. Like my birthday. I would tell you what they got, but let's be honest, you don't care, I don't care--so what would be the purpose?

Now. Onto to the eavesdropping.

First up, a conversation between Olga and Veronica. Olga, you may remember is my least favourite new person . Apparently she went to the States this weekend too and came back with something awesome that she showed Veronica. Veronica was impressed and mentioned that Olga seems to have really good luck finding awesome things in the States and maybe they should go down there together (and be awesome).

Now as far as I can tell, something is wrong with Olga. And I'm pretty sure that Veronica agrees with this so I don't know why she would put herself in that situation. But saying that and following through are 2 different things. Its like seeing someone from highschool and saying you should have coffee. You should, doesn't mean you will.

So I was surprised when Veronica said she was going down on the 20th. A concrete date was offered. Olga jumped all over it: "Do you mind if I tag along?".

Veronica was trapped. She couldn't get out of it. They actually made arrangements of some kind. I don't know that it will actually happen but it made me roll my eyes and congratulate myself that, at least it wasn't me.

Sometimes you're having lunch and people tell you things about themselves that you probably did not need to know. Protein in your urine, how much sex you had on the weekend, the funny rash all over your body-- these things are probably best kept to yourself. Or discussed with a health care professional. Then there are the family issues.

Yesterday, out of nowhere, I learned that a girl that I work with's dad killed a man.

I think we were discussing the deadbeat dads on 16 and Pregnant. And out of nowhere she's all "I didn't know who my dad was because my mom didn't want us talking about him, you know, because of the whole he-killed-a-man-thing".

I have no further commentary to offer on that.

And finally, I always knew Turd Fergason was a dipsh*t. But I wasn't totally aware of how big a sh*t he was until yesterday.

So we all know that TF is Amy's brother, and John's coffee b*tch. Consequently, he is untouchable. And has been around forever. Amy and Veronica are good friends and another girl, who has been here almost from the start, Pamela is also good friends with Amy. So she knows TF pretty well.

Anyway, Pamela is what one would describe as "hot ". She also happens to be the sweetest girl in the world. She was helping a friend look for a new job. She talks to TF, who says that he has a friend that is looking for a receptionist. (I should tell you all that I heard this all as Pamela was describing the conversation to Veronica--so, not firsthand) Pamela sends the resume to TF to forward to his friend and Turd comes back with "Is your friend on facebook?".

Pamela: I don't want you creeping my friends on facebook Turd.
Turd: No no, its not that. I just want to see what she looks like.
Pamela: Why does that matter?
Turd: Well they are looking for a Milestones kind of girl for the job (For those of you that don't know what a Milestones girl is: its a hot girl that works at a Milestones. They only hire hot girls so that the men keep coming back. Gross right?)
Pamela: It shouldn't matter what she looks like as long as she can do the job!

At this point, Turd said something about how they were looking for a certain kind of girl because they were hoping to attract a certain kind of male clientele. Although I'm sure that Pamela's friend is equally hot, she wasn't doing her friend any favours going on about what a great personality she had.

I'm not sure how it all ended. Pamela sounded pretty ticked off about the whole thing. As she should be. I'm kind of gobsmacked that those kind of hiring practices are even allowed to exist! I actually don't think they are, but who's going to prove that someone got passed over because they weren't hot enough?

The whole thing makes me sick. I'm kind of surprised too. I assumed that Turd's gorgeous wife was just a beard.