You've Been Warned

Well kids, I'm pretty damn proud of me this morning. I slept like the dead. Woke up feeling like the dead, almost reached for the phone to call it in. And didn't.

Amazing no?

Yeah I'm pretty amazed with myself also. The downside is that I am incredibly exhausted and have no capacity for thinking. So I'm afraid that today's post will be one of those that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, is rambly, and not consistent or flowy in any way.

But sometimes those are fun.

I think Starbucks laces their drinks with crack. I really do. I was being so good. I felt like I had totally broken the habit of a Starbucks pitstop. Saving money, saving calories. Everybody wins. But then Monday I didn't have breakfast so it became a matter more of self preservation (a girl has got to eat) and then Tuesday there was that free pastry business. Yesterday, no Starbucks? Tough morning. Today? No Starbucks. Worse morning. Crack-laced tea. Craaaaaaaaaaaack.

Say crack again. Crack.

Excellent.

Don't say that I didn't warn you. Ran.Dom.

You know what's ridiculous? People that go on vacation for a few weeks and have going away parties for themselves. You're not moving away, you're not taking off for a year- you're going on vacation. Which means you are coming back soon. But you are forcing people to come out somewhere, spend money, and say good bye? That's kind of f*cked no? Not if you are Veronica. She and her boyfriend are going to South Africa in June and apparently they are planning not one, but two going away parties. Total vacation time? Five weeks. I think there should be a rule (written down somewhere) that you only get a going away party if you are going to be away for 6 months or more.

Today is not Friday. And it should be.

My desk is a mess. I should do something about that. But why? Peace of mind? A zen state of office being? Please. My workspace is a reflection of how I feel about this place-annoyed. Bright spot? My puppy calendar (pretty yellow lab this month) and my achievement certificate (awarded for awesomeness) and employee of the month plaque (because it can be framed and hung up on the wall like a raise can't). Yes, those last 2 were printed off the internet.

Easter Monday should be a holiday. Not in my office. Apparently I'm not alone in having to work Easter Monday but I have a couple of objections. First off, if our holidays are different with the new company than they were with the old, perhaps someone should have thought about putting together some kind of handout, email, flow chart, power-f*cking-point presentation, to let us know? And secondly, an email from the President, 2 weeks before the holiday is not enough time to get used to the idea. Sometimes people plan ahead and make arrangements to go out of town on long weekends. And then those plans have to be cancelled. Jerk.

And yes, I suppose one could take a vacation day in lieu of the stat BUT when your department becomes obsolete in 6 months and you have taken a bunch of holiday that you haven't already earned...guess who owes the company money when they don't have a job?

Exactly.

I'm an angry muppet today aren't I? Ellen was a rerun so I had to watch the Today show. Watching John McCain's smug face while he's rude to Ann Curry is not a good way to start the day.

The Record just informed me that she skipped out on a corporate event yesterday. She has been totally swamped since the Pregosaurus (she of the oversharing) went on early mat leave last week and when she saw the offer of a mardi gras themed party she was out. Particularly heinous was the making of masks with your "krewe". When did it become an acceptable form of communication to intentionally misspell things? It doesn't make it more "fun" or "cool". Its just friggin' annoying. Fools.

I don't think that there is any way to get around the fac that if I don't drag my butt to Starbucks in the next hour you could all be reading about some kind of massacre in an office.

And yes, Kim Kardashian is on my twitter. Are you?