Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Am I Pulling A Jim Carey?

A few housekeeping things before we begin. I read a lot of books. I have about an hour commute to and from work so there's a lot of time to kill. And I kill it with books. Anyway, usually I'm a really fast reader, but occasionally a book comes along that totally challenges my prowess and my determination. The Children's Book was one of those books.

I started it, got about 75 pages in (out of 615) and left it at my parents' house. While they were moving. I didn't think I would ever see the book again. Or if I did it would be unrecognizeable as such. Miraculously it survived the move and a few weeks at my parents' house. I got it back. And it had to wait while I finished some other, more enjoyable book.

Long story short, I have been working on this book for weeks. WEEKS. And I finished it last night (I had 10 pages to go when I had to leave for aquafit- the Universe was really dragging that out)! Thoughts? Lots of words. And information. And parts of stories that get interesting but they are quick and then they are done. Way too many characters to keep straight.

But I finished it. I feel so accomplished this morning.

I also finished what I was supposed to in order to get that Starbucks card. Let's say I was asked to ice 120 cupcakes by 2pm. Most people do 50 in a day and my record was 160--in the whole day. Now I'm asked to do 120 by the time I go for lunch because my boss needs to serve them to customers. Let's say that. I finished them by 1.10 because that's how I roll. Total finished yesterday? 178.

I rule. Starbucks on John today!

Sorry- that was a lot of numbers. I'm not a fan of numbers.

So yesterday I said that I needed your advice on a situation. Before I lay out this situation, perhaps a refresher on how I feel about work functions here and here .

Now that you are all caught up...The Situation (not the guy from Jersey Shore. Fist Pump!).

A co-worker is leaving (lucky lucky bastard) to further his education in sunny California (like its not enough he gets to leave this job). His co-worker friends (he sits on the other side of the office, not so much governed by the power hungry dipsh*ts I sit with) are setting up an evening of drinks and a gift to send him on his way. Veronica will be going. I'm sure that John will pop in for a drink. Let's say 10 people are going, I probably like 5. Obviously will contribute to the gift either way. Do I go? Or do I go home? Do we need to look at the pros and cons?

Pro: Drinks after work like a real office does.
Con: Drinks with work people, where there is a good chance that work talk will be the order of the evening.
Pro: I can't think of any other pros.
Con: Spending money on an evening out seems foolish when we're trying to buy a place. Not to mention the calories consumed when my a$$ has already gotten so much bigger working here.
Con: Veronica will be there.
Con: Anna won't be there.

What do you guys think?? Am I pulling a Jim Carey from Yes, Man before he starts saying 'yes' to everything if I don't go? Or am I saving myself from an evening of office horrors?

Yesterday we got a well thought out email from Veronica entitled: Housekeeping and Professionalism. With a subject like that you know it's going to be good.

Too much socializing at work is starting to affect Veronica's production. Which is weird because she is the worst one for socializing. And definitely the loudest.

She doesn't want to have to "not have to implement a no cell phone zone" but we are texting too much during work. No mention is made of her cell phone being glued to her ear or her variety of ringtones as they go off throughout the day.

We are at work to work. Some fun can be had but not when we are working. If you don't have enough work to do they can give us more.

About an hour after this email was sent Veronica engaged the whole floor in a conversation idea. Not important. You get the point. The point that you might not have gotten was how not well thought out or grammatically sound this email was. I forwarded it to the Record and she had a lot of questions. Because I know Veronica it was easier for me to decipher her general meaning.

So- am I going for drinks with her tomorrow night? Or going home to watch 30 Rock?


  1. Go home and watch 30 Rock!

  2. I swear to God I've had this job before.. lists.. inappropriate jerks with obnoxious ringtones.